Next time, take the hint.

[Limescale]

Names have been changed for obvious reasons.

Me: Whoever I may be.
CT: Clueless Telemarketer.


*Phone rings during a period where I'm manning the front desk.*

Me: Morning, (business name), this is Limescale speaking.

CT: Hi, can I please speak to Mike?

Me: Was that Mike M, or Mike L?

CT: Oh, Mike L please.

Me: I'm sorry he's not available right now. I can transfer you to Mike M if you want.

CT: No I need to speak to Mike L. It's concerning his order of printing supplies for your office.

Me:....You're sure that was Mike L? Not Mike M?

CT: Yes, I need to speak to Mike L. Please can you tell me when he'll be in?

Me: I really think you want to speak to Mike M for that. He's at-

CT: No! It was Mike L! I have the notes for his order right here.

Me:....kay, I'm sorry to keep asking, but are you absolutely sure that was an order placed by Mike L and not Mike M?

CT: Yes! Look can you just give me Mike L's direct number? I'll try him later today to sort this out.

Me: I'm sorry but no.

CT: What?

Me: I can't give you his direct number, or tell you when he'll next be in.

CT: Why not?

Me: Because Mike L is the CEO of the company, and he doesn't work out of this office. You can't try him later because he won't be here later, indeed he won't be here any time this month or next month. What's more I doubt he ever placed any orders for printing supplies because that's not his job, it's Mike M's who's the manager for this office.

CT:....ooooh, wait, actually I think it was Mike M who placed this order.

Me: Oh, also we don't order supplies from any online distributor, or whomever it is you're shilling for, we just go out and buy them from the store.

CT: *CLICK*

Least they gave up quickly.

[Andara Bledin]

Wow.

I hate scammers like that.

I actually did telemarketing sales for printer supplies for a while (I only stopped because I couldn't handle the business dress and 6am start time >_< ), and the people doing the training specifically said that we were not to do any of that shady crap.

You get a lot more sales when the person on the other end doesn't think you're full of shit. I was only there for two week, which was the training period, and I got a sale that actually ended up a repeat buyer - the trainers were impressed and probably sad that I didn't stick around.

^-.-^

[MoonCat]

I got a call like that the other day! Somebody wanted to speak to the person who does the ordering for supplies....can't recall if they said office or printing or what.

I really have no idea who does that. All I know is it's not my job. I switched the guy to my supervisor. She wasn't on the phone with him for long.

[Mytical]

SoP when I received a call that asked for anything like "Human Resources, Ordering" or any such is to flat out say "I am sorry I can only transfer if you have a name." If I am asked "Who is the head of something, again I would repeat the above. Never give any names, never transfer without a name. Oh the 3rd shift calls I got sometimes..and I was a security guard!

[Racket_Man]

When I was IT Manager for the family jewelry company I used to get calls like that ALL the time.

Sure send me that FREE trial ribbon for my old ass printer. OH I need to get a CASE of ribbons to get that FREE TRIAL EVALUATION ribbon???? NO just send me the evaluation one. OH YOU INSIST on sending me a whole case THAT I have to ACTUALLY PAY for????? AND you are going to ship it even if I say NO?????

Went over to shipping/receiving and told them to refuse any package from said company.

[PepperElf]

business dress and 6am start time >_<

So wait... you had to use "business dress" for calling people on the phone? yeah i can see why that would suck.

Me: Oh, also we don't order supplies from any online distributor, or whomever it is you're shilling for, we just go out and buy them from the store.

i think that's what a lot of smaller companies do. one of my friends is a realtor and asked me about where to get cheaper cartridges. so far the cheapest i've found is one of those office stores near us that refills for 10 bucks a cartridge from what I can tell. after that, the next cheapest is online refurb/refill etc.

[EricKei]

At AccountingFirm, we got regular calls from a place trying to sell us toner for triple the price of what we usually got (then again, we normally got cheap shit toner)...They usually started out by asking for the exact model or serial # of the printer. Fooled everyone with that bit at least once, but then we always refused the actual sale, and we eventually *literally* began laughing at them over the phone when they told us their pricing ^_^

[JarethsPet]

This happens to us too! They call in asking for my boss but always getting his name wrong. And then saying he placed an order for paper or pens.

So.. "Walmart calls us direct now?" Because that's where we get our supplies from.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I remember a similar call from years ago from someone wanting to know what brand of water we used in our water coolers.

The funny thing was this particular office didn't HAVE water coolers.

[mikoyan29]

Gah. I got a call at work from a company. they do quality consulting and stuff and when I said, "No", she asked why, and I said, "I'm not interested" and she kept pushing it. I'm sorry if I need a service or whatever, I'll call you. If you're going to be pushy about it when I say "No" then I'll find a company that is more friendly.

[Dadeo]

I just got an email saying that one of my domains is about to expire and that I should give them $75 to renew it to insure uninterrupted service. Okay, just a couple of problems with that:
A. it doesn't expire until next July and;
B. it's a parked domain, I just keep in for a pet project my dad is working on so... no active website

You don't think that the owner of multiple domains doesn't know exactly when his domains expire and how much it costs to renew them?

Obviously not the brightest tools in the deck.

[depechemodefan]

This reminds me of when companies called the library to talk to the Director, usually to have her order some item from them. Considering that the library had about 500 people working there, and so diff. people where in charge of ordering diff. items, we wouldn't connect them to her office.

[Mr Hero]

I believe J2k's got a special beverage for the CT!

family jewelry

*snerk*

[raudf]

I was so lucky, because when I got calls like this, I could honestly say, "All our supplies are ordered from our corporate. Please call 800-xxx-xxxx if you wish to speak with our supply service." Turns out the number was the longest series of sub menus I had ever heard. Corporate must really have hated these kinds of calls.

[Cat Herder]

Obviously not the brightest tools in the deck.

No, definitely not the sharpest bulbs in the Christmas drawer.