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The last one is for you RainmanMe: Um, Hi
Kev: Absentee Proshop Manager and sleezebag
Maria: Referee and AirTech
Gun: Owner
- Slugging the Proshop Manager and The Beginning
It's a year before the court case, and it's a warm June night, and I'm locking up. We had a new employee, a woman named Maria who took over the ref's job after the last one(Stoner Bob) was caught smoking Pot in the far bunker. I can tell she's gonna be a cool person(anybody who can argue for 3 hours, over the radio, who is a better Doctor)
So anyways, I'm closing up and slowly cursing myself cause I missed the last bus cause 4 of the regulars convinced me to let them have one last game. I lock up, and start the LONG walk home. My phone rings and it's her
Me: Hello
Maria: Sorry to bother you, but Kev is being a creep, I'm at a bar and he's following me.
Me: Oh FSM, what bar
Maria: Callahan's, just down the street
Me: Ok, I'll be right there
Maria: Thanks K-9 *click*
I remember staring at my phone for a good while, wondering what the hell she meant.
I get to Callahan's, and there is Kev, being he's douchy self(the stories he's told, of hooking up with dozens of woman, makes me wanna slam his face on concrete until it breaks---the concrete, not his face). I walk up to Maria and Kev, the look he gave me can be summed up as I had just slammed the door shut on his "attempt to hook up".
Me: Hey maria, you called?
Maria: Yes, I was wondering if..
Kev: Get the fuck away from her, she's MINE! *manages to splash his beer all over her shirt*
Maria: FUCK OFF! I'd never fuck you if you were the last man on earth, get it through you thick skull
Kev: You stuck up cunt, your gonna be fired tomorrow! I will make sure of that.
I must admit, I was pissed at this point, I probably didn't have a shot with her but she's was still nice to me, but before I could do anything, she slugged him one. I learned that day that when you punch somebody on the nose, blood goes EVERYWHERE!
The cops gets called, everything get's explained, Kev spends the night in Hospital, and I get to tell Gus why his Proshop Manager is in the hospital.
The next night, me and Maria spent 4 hours watching Classic Doctor Who before falling asleep on the couch. (see the end note for what happened)
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- The Day ABC Paintball Was Dragged into Court
It's a sunny Saturday Morning, in the summer of 2008, and all of us at ABC Paintball are getting ready for a stampede of players(mainly cause the local tryouts for the Canadian Championships are being held here). Myself and Maria have just finished cleaning the field from the event last night, and have all the stuff set up when in walks the owner(Gus) looking like somebody just walked over his grave.
Me: Hey, what's wrong?
Gus: The Tryouts are cancelled, the City is taking us to court!
Us:
Me: Why??
Gus: It seems the local politicians don't want a paintball field this close to the city, so they're saying us being here violates the local by-laws.
Maria and Me:
Maria: Um, no we're not, I'm taking Law and I checked, the local by-laws say since we are in an industrial area and not residential, we are fine.
Gus: That's what I said, but until then, we have to shut down
Me: FRAK
Three Weeks later, we all show up for our court date, thankfully Gus has a lawyer on retainer, you know being a paintball field. And these guys are AWESOME
The city guys go first, saying "we're a blight on the city" and "how we are encouraging violence in young kids", etc. He spent 20 minutes talking about how dangerous we were.
Our lawyer stands up, asks the Judge to read the by-law and sits down. I'm freaking out, I don't want to lose this job, I love it. The Judge reads the by-law, and basically said the "city was in the wrong, and should cease it's smear campaign" against ABC and "to pay all it's court and lawyer fees". I've never wanted to Hi-five a Judge before, but I did right then.
endnote: Maria and I started dating a few weeks after the "Kev Event", and last month...she said "yes".
How wonderful! May you have a long and happy life together. 
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