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  • #1

    Sales pitch

    This customer was obviously a salesman of some sort. I'm thinking the door-to-door variety.

    Customer was transferred to me from Tech. He broke his phone, now it's somehow up to us to give him a new one and not charge him for it. This guy absolutely has to be selling something, he thinks he's pretty smooth.

    ME: This is Kara, I understand your handset you got in December is broken.
    SC: First of all, let me just say I've always been happy with (Company). You guys are the best. But I seem to be hitting a snag in getting this phone replaced. I mean, it should be a simple matter to take care of such an outstanding customer as myself, right?
    ME (Riiiiight): Well, we definitely want to take care of you and -
    SC: So I know you're going to take care of me. I mean, sure, most people would pay $70 for (phone he wants), but I know you've got the right connections. I mean, I know with you being such a big company, you wouldn't even worry about the cost of a phone, am I right?
    ME: We-
    SC: Right. So when you analyze the cost of doing business with someone or losing their business, I think we all know what needs to be done.
    ME ( Oh I'm sorry. Can I talk now?): We can get you the phone for $19.99 with a 2 year contract.
    SC: Yeah, you know that's great, that's really great. But, I dunno, don't you think you could just throw out that $20? I mean, I plan on staying with you guys indefinitely, but-
    ME: That' s the lowest price we have available.
    SC: Ok, fair enough. Now, shipping, I know you're going to Express Ship that to me free, right?
    ME: We offer free GROUND delievery-
    SC: Yeeeeah, you know, I'm not under contract-
    ME (Actually, you are, but, please, don't let me interrupt you)
    SC: And I hate resorting to using "leverage tactics," but there are other companies out there. I mean, it's not like I'm asking you to bend over backwards.
    ME (No, it's clear which way you'd like me to bend over. Not happening): Well, as I said, we can send you the phone free shipping via Ground delivery, or $15 for Express.
    SC: Alright, that's fine. You know, that's why I like (Company). You take care of your customers. And I promise once I get the phone, you won't hear from me again.


    Yeah, right. I checked his account history while he was trying to pitch the idea that I should be licking his boots. We'll hear from him again the next time he wants a discount or something free. And he'll resort to those "leverage tactics" he so desperately tries to avoid.
    "You are loved" - Plaidman.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I read his lines in a sort of Lumberg voice.

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    • #3
      Actually, he sounded a lot like Troy McClure from the Simpsons (a moment of silence for Phil Hartman).
      "You are loved" - Plaidman.

      Comment

      • #4
        Actually, that's how I "heard" the lines in my head, too, Kara.

        I like how these people think they are the best customers on the planet- little do they realize us CSR's have access to their information...and we KNOW what kind of customer they REALLY are!
        I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GK

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        • #5
          Ewww I hate those types. I totally shut down when I hear that 'sales pitchey' voice. And I won't give him what he wants...and I think it's funny that you didn't give him what he really wanted..but still he made it out to be like he got one over on you. You know...because of your 'connections'. Weirdo.
          Oh, "Blah blah blah 'Your Needs'!"

          Comment

          • #6
            we used to be able to put comments in the field below customers special orders at the bookstores. Then after an incident - we had to make sure we put stuff in code and train the newbies to not write:

            "crazy bitch keeps calling for her 4-6 week publisher order even though it was placed 2 days ago!"

            and then leave it open in the computer in the kids section where there is no counter and all can read.



            It was fun to be able to track every little detail of who spoke to the person and when though. Shuts them right up.
            If you are thinking to yourself, "Hmmm, should I post this?" it should probably go HERE.

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            • #7
              When I was in customer service, I got a lot of those calls. My favorite was the customer who was disconnected for non-payment, and freely admitted he wasn't going to be able to pay for at least another month. Somehow, he was able to propose a "win-win" solution. I remember that because he said "win-win" at least 100 times during the call.

              Caller: Here's my win-win solution. I get my TV now, you eventually get your money and you keep a customer. Don't you agree that's a win-win?
              Me: Um... no.
              Caller: You can plainly see it's a win-win. If it happens that I don't get reconnected right now, I'm going to be really tempted to go to satellite. Then you lose a customer. Now, don't you agree that my solution is a win-win?
              Me: Um... no.
              Customer: Well, what would be your idea of a win-win?
              Me: You pay your bill and I turn your service back on.
              Customer: Since I don't have any money, that wouldn't be a win-win. And can't we agree that achieving a win-win is the best solution?

              It was his misfortune that my formative years were spent listening to Danny O'Keefe sing, "Some gotta win, some gotta lose," and I came of age during the Reagan administration: "Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
              I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

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              • #8
                Quoth TNT View Post
                Customer: Since I don't have any money, that wouldn't be a win-win. And can't we agree that achieving a win-win is the best solution?
                My reply would have been: "Since you're not currently paying, then you are currently not a customer and therefore we already lost you...so we lose nothing we haven't already lost"
                DJ Particle

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                • #9
                  Quoth FenigDurak View Post
                  I read his lines in a sort of Lumberg voice.
                  Holy crap, I did too.
                  I've been here for two years, work harder than most others, and I'm getting paid $1.80 an hour
                  less than the 17 year old slacker you hired two months ago. Maybe that's why I'm not chipper at work.

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                  • #10
                    Oh man, I loved the disconnected customers who threatened to 'go to satellite' if we didn't turn their cable back on---as if we cared! "OK fine..but they expect you to pay your bills also."
                    Oh, "Blah blah blah 'Your Needs'!"

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I read the whole thing as Sam Beauregarde from the old Willy Wonka movie.
                      The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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                      • #12
                        That reminds me of a guy I had to talk to once that spoke like a salesman, *AND* (get this) referred to himself in third person. Seriously:

                        Mr. Sleazeball: Alright ominousoat, this is Douglas, and you know what Douglas needs you to do Michael? Douglas needs *YOU* to help *HIM* out with this. And Douglas knows you're a good guy ominousoat, so c'mon and help Douglas out, can you do it?
                        Your dignity shredded in five minutes or less, or your abuse is free.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                          Actually, he sounded a lot like Troy McClure from the Simpsons (a moment of silence for Phil Hartman).
                          "You might remember me from such SC moments as: 'My cell phone doesn't work, cause Junior flushed it down the toilet', and 'I'm going to leave a $2 tip on a $300 dinner for 17 people'."

                          </Phil Hartman>
                          "I call murder on that!"

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                          • #14
                            I think, without realizing it until it was mentioned above, that I read it in sort of a Troy McClure "Lite" voice, (not so exxagerated).

                            I'm going to Google "Lumberg" to find out the reference to that.

                            Mike
                            Meow.........

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth JustaCashier View Post
                              I'm going to Google "Lumberg" to find out the reference to that.
                              The boss in Office Space?
                              "Mmm, yeah, Peter, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday."
                              "I call murder on that!"

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