In my first job as a retail slave, I was responsible for all the grunt work in the parking lot (collecting carts, picking up trash, trying not to get killed by idiot drivers in oversized vehicles, etc.). With that responsibility also came cleaning up any messes in the store, which included the restrooms. Our store had two sets of restrooms, one in the front of the store and one in the back.
We had one of those giant restroom cleaning carts that I liked to use, along with a "Restroom Closed" sign on it. But as you all very well know, SC's don't read signs, and both the cart and sign would inevitably be moved by someone barging into the restroom while it was closed. I got tired of hearing all the RAAAAAAAAGE! from customers when I politely informed them I was cleaning, and I started to use several of our grocery carts to block the door instead. These are your standard-size grocery carts, not those demon spawn with the two baskets on them.
This method was highly-effective until...
I notice loud crashing outside the door. I thought it was just someone from outside bringing carts in (this particular restroom was in one of our entryway lobbies), but...
*man barges in*
Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but this restroom is closed. You're free to use the restrooms in the back of the store. Just walk back into the store and keep going down the center aisle to the back of the store. The restrooms will be the last doors on the right.
Screaming Guy: (yelling...why do I always get the screamers?) NO WAY THIS RESTROOM IS CLOSED!
Me: I had about five carts turned over on their sides blocking off the door. Did you notice them?
SG: WHAT CARTS?
I walk with him out the door and point to the carts turned over on their sides blocking the door. Instead of forming a neat barricade as I'd made with them, they are now scattered about in the lobby with other customers struggling to get around them.
Me: Sir, these carts. I'm sorry, but this restroom is clo--
SG: LET ME SEE YOUR MANAGER!
It's at this point in his conversation that I know this guy doesn't have to go that bad. If he did, he would oblige like the rest of the customers and use the other restrooms. Instead, he wants to cause trouble. I let it play out and go get my manager.
Me: Sir? This is "Jim". He's my manager-on-duty today. He'll take care of you.
Manager Jim: What seems to be the problem today?
SG: (calms down a little, but still manages to use a snotty tone) This rude, insolent little bastard of a pest won't let me use the restroom! I demand compensation!
MJ: Well, Bob is just doing his job. If you'd like, we have another restroom in the back of the store. You see this aisle right here? *points to center aisle* Now, if you'll just walk back into the store and keep going down that center aisle to the back of the store, the restrooms will be the last doors on your right before you get to our back room.
SG: *RAAAAAAAAGE* YOU'RE ALL COMMUNISTS! I'M GOING TO HAVE ALL OF YOU FIRED! I'M CALLING CORPORATE! I'M CALLING MY PASTOR! I'M CALLING THE NEWS! YOU WON'T HEAR THE LAST OF THIS! PRAISE JESUS! *turns around and storms out of the store*
MJ: *turns to me* What the hell just happened? Did I just see that? Did you see that?
Me: I think the psychos have taken over the store today!
MJ: *shouts back in to our door greeter, jokingly* Hey, "Roberta"! Did you just see that?
Roberta: *shrugs her shoulders, shakes her head, and laughs* I've been here since the store first opened! Nothing surprises me anymore!
MJ: *turns back to me* Hey, Bob. Come back to my office on your lunch. I've got something I want to tell you.
I finish up the job and put everything back where it belongs. It's time for my lunch, so I go back to Jim's office to see what's up. He's sitting at his desk sorting through some papers (I guess they were sales reports, since they looked similar) and puts them aside when he sees me.
Me: What's up, Jim?
MJ: Well, I've got to tell you, you and I had a first today. I've been with this company 16 years and was hired in doing your job before I became a manager. I've never seen anything like what you and I witnessed today, so here...*opens desk drawer and pulls out a gift card*...is a little something for you. That should cover lunch for a few days.
I look down, see it's a $50 gift card, and refuse it. Jim insists I take it and won't take no for an answer. I thank him and leave the office.
Jim was always one of the best managers that store ever had. He was so awesome, he ended up getting his own store several years ago. It's consistently the highest-performing and highest-rated store in the market.
As for my former store? It's in decline as I speak, and it's a SC's paradise. I feel bad for my former coworkers--or at least the few of them that are left...
We had one of those giant restroom cleaning carts that I liked to use, along with a "Restroom Closed" sign on it. But as you all very well know, SC's don't read signs, and both the cart and sign would inevitably be moved by someone barging into the restroom while it was closed. I got tired of hearing all the RAAAAAAAAGE! from customers when I politely informed them I was cleaning, and I started to use several of our grocery carts to block the door instead. These are your standard-size grocery carts, not those demon spawn with the two baskets on them.

This method was highly-effective until...
I notice loud crashing outside the door. I thought it was just someone from outside bringing carts in (this particular restroom was in one of our entryway lobbies), but...
*man barges in*
Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but this restroom is closed. You're free to use the restrooms in the back of the store. Just walk back into the store and keep going down the center aisle to the back of the store. The restrooms will be the last doors on the right.
Screaming Guy: (yelling...why do I always get the screamers?) NO WAY THIS RESTROOM IS CLOSED!
Me: I had about five carts turned over on their sides blocking off the door. Did you notice them?
SG: WHAT CARTS?
I walk with him out the door and point to the carts turned over on their sides blocking the door. Instead of forming a neat barricade as I'd made with them, they are now scattered about in the lobby with other customers struggling to get around them.
Me: Sir, these carts. I'm sorry, but this restroom is clo--
SG: LET ME SEE YOUR MANAGER!
It's at this point in his conversation that I know this guy doesn't have to go that bad. If he did, he would oblige like the rest of the customers and use the other restrooms. Instead, he wants to cause trouble. I let it play out and go get my manager.
Me: Sir? This is "Jim". He's my manager-on-duty today. He'll take care of you.
Manager Jim: What seems to be the problem today?
SG: (calms down a little, but still manages to use a snotty tone) This rude, insolent little bastard of a pest won't let me use the restroom! I demand compensation!
MJ: Well, Bob is just doing his job. If you'd like, we have another restroom in the back of the store. You see this aisle right here? *points to center aisle* Now, if you'll just walk back into the store and keep going down that center aisle to the back of the store, the restrooms will be the last doors on your right before you get to our back room.
SG: *RAAAAAAAAGE* YOU'RE ALL COMMUNISTS! I'M GOING TO HAVE ALL OF YOU FIRED! I'M CALLING CORPORATE! I'M CALLING MY PASTOR! I'M CALLING THE NEWS! YOU WON'T HEAR THE LAST OF THIS! PRAISE JESUS! *turns around and storms out of the store*
MJ: *turns to me* What the hell just happened? Did I just see that? Did you see that?
Me: I think the psychos have taken over the store today!
MJ: *shouts back in to our door greeter, jokingly* Hey, "Roberta"! Did you just see that?
Roberta: *shrugs her shoulders, shakes her head, and laughs* I've been here since the store first opened! Nothing surprises me anymore!
MJ: *turns back to me* Hey, Bob. Come back to my office on your lunch. I've got something I want to tell you.
I finish up the job and put everything back where it belongs. It's time for my lunch, so I go back to Jim's office to see what's up. He's sitting at his desk sorting through some papers (I guess they were sales reports, since they looked similar) and puts them aside when he sees me.
Me: What's up, Jim?
MJ: Well, I've got to tell you, you and I had a first today. I've been with this company 16 years and was hired in doing your job before I became a manager. I've never seen anything like what you and I witnessed today, so here...*opens desk drawer and pulls out a gift card*...is a little something for you. That should cover lunch for a few days.
I look down, see it's a $50 gift card, and refuse it. Jim insists I take it and won't take no for an answer. I thank him and leave the office.
Jim was always one of the best managers that store ever had. He was so awesome, he ended up getting his own store several years ago. It's consistently the highest-performing and highest-rated store in the market.
As for my former store? It's in decline as I speak, and it's a SC's paradise. I feel bad for my former coworkers--or at least the few of them that are left...

Comment