I'm already bending over backwards, perhaps I should snap in half for you?

[ominousoat]

I got to fill in for the supervisors today since they were all busy, so I got to call back angry people (hooray!) and tell them they were stupid. Now the fun of being a temporary supervisor is I get to be sassier (wait, can guys be sassy? Snarky perhaps?) and they take it because I'm their only avenue for reperation. Thus, they also use syrupy sweet tones and attempt to manipulate their way into a bargain. Thus we are brought to the sanguine sucky customer, or SSC for short. She spoke in an amazingly sappy voice the whole time, even though she's being conniving.

ME: Hi, I'm ominousoat from [your gas supplier] returning your call and request to speak with a supervisor on [date].

SSC: Ooooooh! Yes! That was like...a week ago!

ME: Well, actually less than 48 hours ago...

SSC: Right right, well I just don't think my bill is right.

ME: Well, it does seem slightly high, but it looks like we've had the technicians verify that the reading was correct twice...so we've read it three times, and every time it's produced the same results.

SSC: Well, I just don't think that read can be right.

ME: Well, the read is right, we've verified it twice. So, the only thing we can do now is have a technician test the meter to make sure it's functioning properly.

SSC: Well this bill is obviously wrong...so could you just go ahead and credit it now?

ME: We don't know how wrong it is, if it's wrong. So we have to follow the process here and have the technicians investigate your meter.


SSC: Ah now come one...there's no way it can be this high, just look back into our records.


ME: It does look abnormal, I won't lie to you, but we have to have a technician look at the meter first. SO I will send out a technician to look at it.

SSC: Oh, could you do that then?

ME: yeeees.

SC: And when can I expect a call back?

ME: Well, you would have to call back if you want to find out the results, otherwise if it's too high you'll receive a new bill.

SC: Now wait, you people have been an inconveinence to me since this first happened, the least you could do is just give me a call. This has been such a horrible experience...I mean...just very unpleasant...and...and this bill is just highway robbery.

ME: Ma'am, I did just give you a call, and we are already investigating your meter, investigating the bill, and pretty much doing everything we can to make sure you are being billed the proper amount, all of this is being done at no charge, and willingly so as to give you the best customer service possible. SO! really, the least *you* could do is bear through calling us just once more to find out the results of what our technicians found. He will be out there tommorrow, sometime between 8 and 4, and you can call back after then. Anything else I can do for you?

SSC: I...I...uh...no...

ME: Okay, have a good day then.

+++

Also, on an unrelated call...

Stupid Customer: You're company made an unauthorized charge to my Visa!

ME: Um...did you give anyone here your Visa number?

SC: I don't think so...unless they asked for it when I signed up two days ago.

ME: No. They don't.

SC: Well then why does it say there was a charge to my Visa?

ME: Is that a check card?

SC: Yes...

ME: Where did you see the charge?

SC: On my bank statement...

ME: Did you send in a check?

SC: Yes...

ME: Does it say a Visa charge on your statement?

SC: Well no...but there's no name on there...

ME: Then we didn't charge your Visa.

[SnapAddict218]

Oh. My. God.

That is all.

[DisgruntledBadger]

Sacchiarine sucky customer would be the one who uses syrupy sweet tones on you. Sanguine sucky customers try to suck your blood out. /end vocabulary know-it-all session

No offense intended. It just caught my eye. I think you handled the nutjobs in a much more professional way that I would have. Kudos!

[ShortTemperHatesStupidity]

Ugh.. I can't stand it when customers do that... get all condecending, but with the sugary tone so you can't really get upset with em. Especially when they're the entitlement sort.

[greensinestro]

I like the part about her wanting another call back, after you called her back. Sounds like she's just hoping if she keeps it up with the meter technicians coming out, someone will get tired of her and just knock the money off the bill.

I had a lady a month ago who called to cancel her internet. I called her back because the rep failed to mention that with her being a business, she was required to fax in her request. Now, this was upstate New York, so that is all I will say on that subject there. However, when I called this woman back, I gave her all of the information she needed, yet she was "not in the mood to talk", was "too busy right now" and wanted me to call her back later. I politely told her she was welcome to call us back, but there was no way we needed to call her back to provide her with the same information I just provided her with.

Just this week, we dealt with her wrath, with her being upset that she received another bill, demanding we credit her for that mistake! She said all of this on a fax instead of calling us. What did we do? Nothing except cancel her internet and note that no credit would be due. My lead and I both agreed that we are not going provide credit to a customer for their unwillingness to cooperate and do what every other business customer is required to do.

[ominousoat]

Sacchiarine sucky customer would be the one who uses syrupy sweet tones on you. Sanguine sucky customers try to suck your blood out. /end vocabulary know-it-all session

1. cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident: a sanguine disposition; sanguine expectations.

It does also have roots in the word sanguinery, which refers to humor relating to blood, or any thing which hold a resemblance to blood.

the former is a more archaic definition of the word, so I therefore love it for being so esoteric.