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Thus my week begins anew.. -.- (I weep)
Bitter Bear
Wow, when I called one of the property managers tonight and passed the message she actually sounded like she cared and was genuinely concerned. What the hell? I'm….I'm not use to that kind of reaction. I'll admit I shrieked and recoiled like Beastly being hit by a Care Bear Stare. I cowered in the darkness under my desk for a few moments until I got off the line with her. But don't worry, such a brief moment of exposure to a kind heart can't possibly sway my sinister ways. I'll be back by the next episode, oh yes.
Emergency
SC: "Can I have the service guy call me right away?"
Me: "Is it an emergency?"
SC: "Well no. I suppose it would be better to call in the morning if its not an emergency, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Wow, usually it takes much longer then that for caller's to figure that out. If they ever do. I have to commend you my fine, somewhat confused, dimwitted nocturnal friend. You sir have achieved a level of greatness that few people awake at this hour near a telephone can ever hope to reach. Please, allow me to mail you a cookie, cupcake or perhaps a handful of Doritos as a reward for your achievement. You like Doritos don't you? Of course you do. You'd lick nacho cheese powder off the underside of an 85 Chevy Nova if given half a chance.
Venom
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "<talking to someone in the background>"
Me: "Hello?"
SC: "<more talking>"
Me: "Hello?"
SC: "<click>"
Well, its not like I wanted to talk to you anyway. In fact if you'll excuse me I'm going to go on break and spend the next 15 minutes fervently praying some sort of unpleasant venomous animal finds its way into your pants. You know, like a spider, snake or Kevin Federline.
867
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "Uh…..uh……….."
…if I throw a stick will you go away?
867....
Caller requested "Hooties" and "Sandolls". I'm not entirely positive what either one of those is. I'm pretty sure Sandolls = sandals, but I could be wrong. He may in fact be requesting small figurines crafted from the beaches of western Canada. But hooties? I'm quite positive I don't have a pair of those….at least I didn't last I checked…I'd be a bit disturbed if I had acquired a pair on the Skytrain here. So I certainly hope it was a a hooded sweatshirt he wanted instead. Otherwise I fear he's sheet out of luck.
Mhmm
SC: "What time is it there?"
Me: "5am"
SC: "Oh! I'm sorry sweetie!"
That's perfectly ok, peaches. Have some Doritos.
Criminal Code
Me: "and what are you in custody for?"
SC: "They have me on a bullsh*t charge."
Wow, really? I didn't know that was a criminal offense….wait, if that's a criminal offense then how the hell has Parliament eluded them for so long? You'd think that'd just be like a huge bull caca pinata practically dripping at the seams with raw, steaming……ok, I'll stop.
Don't Get My Hopes Up
( This is 6am.. )
SC: "Can I speak with blah blah?"
Me: "No one gets in till 8am."
SC: "Yes."
Me: "......"
SC: "......"
…well, since we're both in agreement you clearly understand the problem, right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. It was way to much to hope for. I should know better by now. What the hell was I thinking? Friggan faith and humanity, why must you haunt me?!
Bitter Bear
Wow, when I called one of the property managers tonight and passed the message she actually sounded like she cared and was genuinely concerned. What the hell? I'm….I'm not use to that kind of reaction. I'll admit I shrieked and recoiled like Beastly being hit by a Care Bear Stare. I cowered in the darkness under my desk for a few moments until I got off the line with her. But don't worry, such a brief moment of exposure to a kind heart can't possibly sway my sinister ways. I'll be back by the next episode, oh yes.
Emergency
SC: "Can I have the service guy call me right away?"
Me: "Is it an emergency?"
SC: "Well no. I suppose it would be better to call in the morning if its not an emergency, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Wow, usually it takes much longer then that for caller's to figure that out. If they ever do. I have to commend you my fine, somewhat confused, dimwitted nocturnal friend. You sir have achieved a level of greatness that few people awake at this hour near a telephone can ever hope to reach. Please, allow me to mail you a cookie, cupcake or perhaps a handful of Doritos as a reward for your achievement. You like Doritos don't you? Of course you do. You'd lick nacho cheese powder off the underside of an 85 Chevy Nova if given half a chance.
Venom
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "<talking to someone in the background>"
Me: "Hello?"
SC: "<more talking>"
Me: "Hello?"
SC: "<click>"
Well, its not like I wanted to talk to you anyway. In fact if you'll excuse me I'm going to go on break and spend the next 15 minutes fervently praying some sort of unpleasant venomous animal finds its way into your pants. You know, like a spider, snake or Kevin Federline.
867
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "Uh…..uh……….."
…if I throw a stick will you go away?
867....
Caller requested "Hooties" and "Sandolls". I'm not entirely positive what either one of those is. I'm pretty sure Sandolls = sandals, but I could be wrong. He may in fact be requesting small figurines crafted from the beaches of western Canada. But hooties? I'm quite positive I don't have a pair of those….at least I didn't last I checked…I'd be a bit disturbed if I had acquired a pair on the Skytrain here. So I certainly hope it was a a hooded sweatshirt he wanted instead. Otherwise I fear he's sheet out of luck.
Mhmm
SC: "What time is it there?"
Me: "5am"
SC: "Oh! I'm sorry sweetie!"
That's perfectly ok, peaches. Have some Doritos.
Criminal Code
Me: "and what are you in custody for?"
SC: "They have me on a bullsh*t charge."
Wow, really? I didn't know that was a criminal offense….wait, if that's a criminal offense then how the hell has Parliament eluded them for so long? You'd think that'd just be like a huge bull caca pinata practically dripping at the seams with raw, steaming……ok, I'll stop.
Don't Get My Hopes Up
( This is 6am.. )
SC: "Can I speak with blah blah?"
Me: "No one gets in till 8am."
SC: "Yes."
Me: "......"
SC: "......"
…well, since we're both in agreement you clearly understand the problem, right? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. It was way to much to hope for. I should know better by now. What the hell was I thinking? Friggan faith and humanity, why must you haunt me?!
(is it yellow cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles? 
)
Luckily SC's aren't psychics and can't read our minds . . .
I AM the evil bastard!
Hahaha
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