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Today has been the day of crazy calls.
The first really belongs to my boss, who spent half an hour walking a retired faculty member through setting up Outlook (the email program, like it usually is). The pain was emanating from his every pore in this billowing dark cloud casting its shadow o'er the Tech Desk. The rest of these, though, are all me.
1.) Not My Department, take one
Me: "Tech desk Impetrix speaking, how may I help you?"
SC: "Hi, I'm looking for Lisa, or Laura....?"
Me: "Uhhh, do you know their last name?"
SC: "No, but they're the one who runs the computer lab in the music building."
Me: "Would you mind holding for a second?" <beep> "Boooosssssss?"
Boss: "No idea." *goes to help customer at the desk.
Me: "Thank you for holding. I'm sorry, we're not sure who you might be referring to. Is there someone in the music department you could ask who might know?"
SC: "Actually, could I talk to a faculty member of tech support, rather than just a student?"
Me: "Yes, there's one here. He just went to help a customer, but I can put you on hold and give you to him when he can pick up."
The customer waited a while.
My boss forwarded them on to folks who might have a better clue of what she was talking about. This story doesn't quite do her tone justice... I can't quite figure out how to convey that she actually was being rather obnoxious about the whole thing. There were more dialogue lines on her side that I can't quite reproduce.
2.) Not my department, take two
SuckyFaculty: "Hi, this is SF, I'm sick and I'm trying to work from home. I can't connect to our wireless router, though my husband's computer can."
Me: *basic troubleshooting, getting contradictory information on whether the laptop is able to see the network as available or not, general clueless over-phone-troubleshooting-pain*
Me: "Well, I'm sorry, I think we're at the point where we can't really do much more over the phone. I think you'll need to call your router's tech desk or hire a tech support service in town that could come out to you."
(Nota Bene: We're a student-oriented campus service. We do basic things out of the goodness of our hearts for facstaff personal stuff, but we're not really supposed to do any of it, since it means we're not available for student issues. Hence the not-my-department)
SF: "Oh, we're not in <college-town>, we're in <aboutanhouraway>. But it says to call my network administrator! That's you guys, I thought!"
Me: "Er, no, that would be your ISP, or for the wireless router, either you or your husband."
Some time later....
3.) Not my department, take three
SC: "Hi, this is SC, calling on behalf of SuckyFaculty. She was having some issues with her wireless router...."
(He eventually figured it out, actually, with me kinda just along for the ride and too polite to tell him to go 'wai kthxbye. But, seriously, when you call back after I say I'm not the one you need to talk to.... grrrr.)
4.) Reeeeally not my department, take four
Poor Old Guy: "Hi, I'm a retired faculty member, and I've got some questions about Outlook."
Me: "Alright, are you trying to set up your email account?"
POG: "Wait, what? I'm trying to figure out this form..."
Me: "Ok, this form, what is it for?"
POG: "It's, well, it's insurance."
Me: "
"Beg pardon?"
POG: "Outlook vision insurance... I'm confused because I thought the copay was something, but this form says something else..."
Me: "Sir, I'm sorry, you're at the Tech Support desk."
POG: "Oh!"
Me: "You'll probably want to talk to the Health Center folks".
POG: "But I did, and they sent me over to you!"
Me: "Hmmm... they may have heard 'Outlook' and thought you were talking about the email program. I guess make sure they know right off the bat you're talking about insurance."
POG: "Oh... alright. Thanks for your help..."
5.) More meds, less alcohol, or both...
Me: "Tech desk Impetrix speaking, how may I help you?"
<insert loud background music... I think I might be on hold or something>
Me: "Hello?"
Crazy Person: (raspy, scratchy, drunk-sounding voice) "Hello"
Me: (trying to be heard over background music) "Hello, you've reached the tech desk."
CP: "I can't hear a word you're saying. Is this (unintelligible string of numbers that is clearly not us)?"
Me: "Uh, no, this is the <school> Tech Desk. I think you may have the wrong number."
CP: "That's what I just said! You goddamn people."
<sound of pushed phone button loudly in ear>
CP: "Goddamn people."
<more beeping>
<click>
The first really belongs to my boss, who spent half an hour walking a retired faculty member through setting up Outlook (the email program, like it usually is). The pain was emanating from his every pore in this billowing dark cloud casting its shadow o'er the Tech Desk. The rest of these, though, are all me.
1.) Not My Department, take one
Me: "Tech desk Impetrix speaking, how may I help you?"
SC: "Hi, I'm looking for Lisa, or Laura....?"
Me: "Uhhh, do you know their last name?"
SC: "No, but they're the one who runs the computer lab in the music building."
Me: "Would you mind holding for a second?" <beep> "Boooosssssss?"
Boss: "No idea." *goes to help customer at the desk.
Me: "Thank you for holding. I'm sorry, we're not sure who you might be referring to. Is there someone in the music department you could ask who might know?"
SC: "Actually, could I talk to a faculty member of tech support, rather than just a student?"
Me: "Yes, there's one here. He just went to help a customer, but I can put you on hold and give you to him when he can pick up."
The customer waited a while.
My boss forwarded them on to folks who might have a better clue of what she was talking about. This story doesn't quite do her tone justice... I can't quite figure out how to convey that she actually was being rather obnoxious about the whole thing. There were more dialogue lines on her side that I can't quite reproduce.2.) Not my department, take two
SuckyFaculty: "Hi, this is SF, I'm sick and I'm trying to work from home. I can't connect to our wireless router, though my husband's computer can."
Me: *basic troubleshooting, getting contradictory information on whether the laptop is able to see the network as available or not, general clueless over-phone-troubleshooting-pain*
Me: "Well, I'm sorry, I think we're at the point where we can't really do much more over the phone. I think you'll need to call your router's tech desk or hire a tech support service in town that could come out to you."
(Nota Bene: We're a student-oriented campus service. We do basic things out of the goodness of our hearts for facstaff personal stuff, but we're not really supposed to do any of it, since it means we're not available for student issues. Hence the not-my-department)
SF: "Oh, we're not in <college-town>, we're in <aboutanhouraway>. But it says to call my network administrator! That's you guys, I thought!"
Me: "Er, no, that would be your ISP, or for the wireless router, either you or your husband."
Some time later....
3.) Not my department, take three
SC: "Hi, this is SC, calling on behalf of SuckyFaculty. She was having some issues with her wireless router...."
(He eventually figured it out, actually, with me kinda just along for the ride and too polite to tell him to go 'wai kthxbye. But, seriously, when you call back after I say I'm not the one you need to talk to.... grrrr.)
4.) Reeeeally not my department, take four
Poor Old Guy: "Hi, I'm a retired faculty member, and I've got some questions about Outlook."
Me: "Alright, are you trying to set up your email account?"
POG: "Wait, what? I'm trying to figure out this form..."
Me: "Ok, this form, what is it for?"
POG: "It's, well, it's insurance."
Me: "
"Beg pardon?"POG: "Outlook vision insurance... I'm confused because I thought the copay was something, but this form says something else..."
Me: "Sir, I'm sorry, you're at the Tech Support desk."
POG: "Oh!"
Me: "You'll probably want to talk to the Health Center folks".
POG: "But I did, and they sent me over to you!"
Me: "Hmmm... they may have heard 'Outlook' and thought you were talking about the email program. I guess make sure they know right off the bat you're talking about insurance."
POG: "Oh... alright. Thanks for your help..."
5.) More meds, less alcohol, or both...
Me: "Tech desk Impetrix speaking, how may I help you?"
<insert loud background music... I think I might be on hold or something>
Me: "Hello?"
Crazy Person: (raspy, scratchy, drunk-sounding voice) "Hello"
Me: (trying to be heard over background music) "Hello, you've reached the tech desk."
CP: "I can't hear a word you're saying. Is this (unintelligible string of numbers that is clearly not us)?"
Me: "Uh, no, this is the <school> Tech Desk. I think you may have the wrong number."
CP: "That's what I just said! You goddamn people."
<sound of pushed phone button loudly in ear>
CP: "Goddamn people."
<more beeping>
<click>
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