Yes, you need to be in front of your computer

[greensinestro]

Why is it these days whenever a customer calls in with problems on their computer, they're not at it? Many will call from work, but aren't there to tell me what settings they have, or what error message they receive, yet I'm supposed to know the answer to "My internet doesn't work", and nothing else.

I had a lady today who wanted help setting up her dial up connection with Windows 2000. Thing was, she was five minutes away from home, driving in her car. When I told her she would need to be there, she made me wait on the line while she drove home, got her shit out of her car, dropped her purse off, unloaded her groceries, went to the bathroom, and then she was ready!

If you're going to call about computer problems, please expect us to expect you to be in front of your computer, ready to go. And, I really am not interested in waiting for you to take care of your personal needs when I could be helping another customer!

[GolfCart34]

I agree. In the time it took her to get all of her personal crap together you could have helped one, possibly two customers. Why do people feel the need to call tech support for their computer when they're on a leisurely drive (or some other leisure activity)? Then they usually have the nerve to complain that you wasted their time when, in fact, it was them waisting your time.

[Jacen]

Oh, you didn't know? The people at your call center are her personal slaves, you were born and you live to tend to her needs.

In all seriousness through, I've seen this happen many times. Dad once called me from work (why not wait till you get home) to tell me something was wrong with his computer... and since he was at work, he couldn't show me what was wrong <.<

[Qaeria]

This is almost an hourly occurence around here. I had a lady do the same thing, or at least try to .

FTL = Fucktrumpet lady
ME = God's gift to Macintosh

FTL - Hi I'm calling to see if you can help me fix my dial up.
ME - Sure! That's what I'm here for. What sort of errors have you been getting?
FTL - Oh, I don't know. those things never make sense to me, so I just ignore them.
ME - They do however make sense to me, so could you please try and connect and since it is dial up, I suspect you will have to hang up now to try, and then you can call me back with the error message and number please.
FTL - Well I'm in my car right now heading home, so if you could hold the line, I can try as soon as I get home, since I am on a cell I can tell you right away.
ME - Ma'am that would probably inconvenience the customers waiting for service, so it would be best for you to call me back as soon as you can, and have the error message on the screen.
FTL - Well I don't want to have to wait when I call back. Can you please wait just a few minutes?
ME - I'm sorry, but I cannot. I need to use this opportunity to assist customers. By me waiting, I am wasting time, and inconveniencing others. Please just call back, and we can help you right away.
FTL - Oh great! you want me to hang up, then call back and get stuck in some piece of sh*t call director for god only knows how long to wait for service??!??
ME - Ma'am, we are somewhat different. When you call, you get a person. If we are tied up, you will be put through to the first available voicemail, and we will call you back immediately once we are off the phone.
FTL - Oh... I thought you were like (Insert monopoly phone company name here)!
ME - No. We actually care about our customers.
FTL - HA HA! Okay, I will call back in about 20 minutes.
ME - Okay. thank you for calling!

So just a few minutes was 20, and she still insisted on me waiting. When she called, it was a doozy. Turns out she is still on the Classic Mac OS (9.2.2) and she changed her modem in the CP to a motorola something or other instead of the standard Apple 56k internal. When I asked her why she did this, she said she felt she should change it because she heard motorola was more reliable and better than the Apple.

I think 2 things need to happen:

1. They need to invent pills that allow me to mind read.

2. They need to install a button on my phone that would cause them to get the shit beat out of them by a smelly trout for being so stoopid!

[technical.angel]

2. They need to install a button on my phone that would cause them to get the shit beat out of them by a smelly trout for being so stoopid!

Actually, it's a salmon.

Hence this smiley.



I always ask the kiddies that call up if they're in front of the computer when they call. Guess the answer.

[TNT]

I used to get people who wanted me to provision their modem as they were driving home from Circuit City or wherever. Um... no. The modem has to be attached to something, preferably your cable.

[BravoOrig]

I'm more than used to that type of customer stupidity. Its like going to your mechanic to tell him your car is having problems, wanting him to fix it right then, but not having the car! It flows over to emails customers send in too, telling me they are getting error "blah blah blah". How does that help me exactly? Or its getting "error". Wow! That was super helpful!

I cannot count how many times someone sends in a request for help with some email related issue, and doesn't include their email address! They use a Contact Us form on our site, so I can't reply directly, and sometimes they don't even have an email address supplied by us that I can look up!

[BlaqueKatt]

wow at work we send screenshots of our error messages to tech support, that way they know pretty much all they need

1. the error message
2. what we were doing when the error appeared
3. what program is causing the error

then the slightly creepy IT guy comes over and fixes it-I say slightly creepy because he quit hitting on me once he found out I was married to an IT guy.

[gunsage]

Actually, you should be behind your computer.

[Broomjockey]

Actually, you should be behind your computer.

Only if you're fixing wires. But you should be facing it and within arm's reach at all times

[technical.angel]

Or, more importantly, you should be facing the powered on monitor with keyboard and mouse within easy reach. I don't care where you are in reference to the tower.

[Broomjockey]

Or, more importantly, you should be facing the powered on monitor with keyboard and mouse within easy reach. I don't care where you are in reference to the tower.

Or, in visually discernable distance of the screen of a powered on monitor, with a functioning and connected user input device which can include a keyboard and mouse.

[greensinestro]

I've actually dealt with people who wanted help setting up their internet, and it turned out they really needed someone to set up their computer, and they had not even taken it out of the box yet! My job is setting up dial up service for the already set up computer that you should have by now opened up first before calling me up.

[qaxons]

"Hey, Q-ball, can you come help me fix a program on my computer?"
"You have a computer?"
"Yeah, I got yesterday, but I can't get this thing working."
*20 minute drive later, after being offered pizza, beer, and a carton of cigarettes*
"Uh... dude... you said you needed help with a program..."
"Yeah, I do..."
"No, you need help putting your computer together..."
"And I need help making sure my copy of WoW works..."
"... right... Get me a beer..."

[iradney]

Heheehe
I had one customer call me on his windows mobile device. He needed help setting up as a modem.
Problem: Not near his PC
Another problem: He was DRIVING while talking to me
ANOTHER Problem: He wanted to WRITE DOWN the steps, while DRIVING and TALKING on his phone (didn't want to pull over)