Die Compaq, Die!

[protege]

We have a laptop at work that refuses to die.

This thing has been dropped (breaking the screen), stepped on (breaking the mouse touch thingie), and just beat on. The boss won't let me trash it, since "it still works." Never mind that making it "still work" has involved hooking up a regular PC keyboard, mouse, and an old CRT-style monitor We don't really need it, since the fax machine it's hooked to isn't used that often, and we don't send out mass-faxes anymore.

And yes, I do tell the new hires that if they *must* break something, to break that piece of crap

[IT Grunt]

Hmmm... sounds like this calls for liberal application of coffee, heavy on the cream and sugar for extra stickiness.

[protege]

I've thought about that. However, dumping coffee on it would be pretty obvious

[lordlundar]

Do you go by train tracks?

If so, "accidentally" drop it on the tracks. There's not a computer today that can withstand several metric tons on it.

[gunsage]

Fact: Maglites are virtually unbreakable. I say virtually, because I've managed to break TWO, but anyway, moving on...

Fact: This laptop is virtually unbreakable.

The test: Have both fight to the death.

[Hobgoblin]

Fact: Maglites are virtually unbreakable. I say virtually, because I've managed to break TWO, but anyway, moving on...

I demand the story(ies)! I've tried to break them, but I'll I end up doing is losing them.

[crazylegs]

You could always leave the laptop out in the rain, that should fry it quite nicely, or perhaps introduce it to the delights of a nice log fire, hmmm melted plastic smell my favourite

[Bluenomi]

Give the laptop to a small child who should be able to rewrite the operating system so it becomes unbootable. That should sort it. Even better, get the kid to rig it so next time it is turned on it becomes a smoking mess of short circuts. Then get the boss to turn it on. He gets the blame and you get a new computer!

[technical.angel]

Give the laptop to a small child who should be able to rewrite the operating system so it becomes unbootable. That should sort it. Even better, get the kid to rig it so next time it is turned on it becomes a smoking mess of short circuts. Then get the boss to turn it on. He gets the blame and you get a new computer!

Any reason to be near the vicinity of the laptop with a magnet?

Or, better yet, *accidently* drop it while you're copying or moving information.

I can lend you a staff member or two who can have it dead in NO TIME.

[Geek King]

Heat. Set the laptop up so that it seriously overheats. Maybe a little plastic sheet over any intake holes. Or set it on a heater. Or a heat gun...heeheeheeee...

No evidence other than the slight smell of solder melting.

[lordlundar]

Or, better yet, *accidently* drop it while you're copying or moving information.

Jenni, you have to remember that if it still barely functions, it's staying. I don't think it will be enough to cause a total head crash.

There's also the BOFH to resource, or build an etherkiller.

[earl colby pottinger]

Do you go by train tracks?

If so, "accidentally" drop it on the tracks. There's not a computer today that can withstand several metric tons on it.

Try:

http://www.firstresponderproducts.co...p?articleid=24

http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?c=285

The first time I heard of Husky the claim was you could take it up to 25,000 feet above sea level, take it below 50 feet of water, run over it with a tank or drop it in boiling water and it would still work. The warranty also admitted that it might work in the present of a 'Nuclear Event'.

[lordlundar]

The warranty also admitted that it might work in the present of a 'Nuclear Event'.

Ya gotta love a computer that lists Armageddon as a possible failure point.

[PCGameGuy]

Heat. Set the laptop up so that it seriously overheats. Maybe a little plastic sheet over any intake holes. Or set it on a heater. Or a heat gun...heeheeheeee...

No evidence other than the slight smell of solder melting.

lol, that, and when you shake it all the components slide around inside <Image of chips and SMDs falling out of the disk drive slot>

[technical.angel]

But, honestly, Protege, I can send some people over. They've been murder on some computers.

And, anyways, why would you install LIMEWIRE on a work computer????