Dip Sh*t Accountant (Long)

[crashhelmet]

As stated in other posts, I had trouble finding tech work for a while and staretd bartending. To help keep myself fresh and have it look on my resume that I was continually working in the tech field, I started my own company. Almost all of my clients were small businesses. I pretty much refused to do any "personal" work unless I knew them.

Anyway, this little Flag company contacted me about doing a data transfer from their old system to their new one. The owner's husband was retired military and a friend of my dad's so I charged them a flat rate of $50.00 for everything that had to be done. The only problem in it all, was the source drive was at her home and the destination drive was in he rnew office. I don't think it took me more than an hour to take care of it all. It was quick and simple.

The next day, I get a call from her accountant that his fax machine isn't working. naturally, because I was out there, it was my fault that it wasn't working.

DSA: Dip Sh*t Accountant
Me: 3 guesses and the first two don't count

DSA: My fax isn't working. It was working before you got here.
Me: DSA, I didn't do anything with your fax machine. I wasn't anywhere near it
DSA: Well, it was working before you got here.
Me: OK. What's worng with it
DSA: It doesn't work
Me: How does it not work?
DSA: I can't send or receive faxes
Me: Is it powered on?
DSA: yes!
Me: Is the phone line plugged in?
DSA: Yes!
Me: OK. Just because M is a friend of my dad's, I'll be out there at 4:30.
DSA: I need you here now
Me: I'm working right now. I'll be there when I'm done

I drive back out there and what do I find? The f*ckin phone line isn't plugged in. The phone line doesn't even f*ckin exist. It is nowhere to be found.

I tell him he's giong to have go and get one and then everything should work. He tries to convince me that I have to do it and I tell him that I've alreayd made the trip out here when i didn't have to and he's already lied to me about the line being plugged in. I tell him it's all on him and I left.

I think I'm done with him as months go by and no phone calls. Then I get the bomb dropped on me. He decides to 1099 me to write off the labor costs on their taxes.

They paid me $50.00 cash. He filed to the IRS that they paid me $1200.00 for services tendered for that year. I immediately call M, the owner, and let her know. She then is unfortunately stuck with refiling to the IRS and having someone else go over all of her books to make sure nothing was stolen, embezzled, or shady in any other way. Last I heard, DSA was charged with tax fraud. Dunno if anything else was charged or what he was convicted of.

CH

[Geek King]

Geez, that's no laughing matter! I've had the "it was working before youuu were here" whine, sure. No one's ever tried to f*** me over with the IRS though. I'm glad for your sake the owner was friendly and the situation got handled quickly. That could have been some seriously bad news.

[IT Grunt]

An old co-worker of mine from the days at the bank had the 'IT Was Here' Syndrome happen to him. One of the branches happened to be on his way home, so he stopped in to do some personal banking. That's all he did: go to the teller line. An hour later, the server in that branch crashes. So they call up the IT department: "Well, I saw CW in here an hour ago, he must have done something with it." We just can't catch a break.

As for DSA, what an asshole! I've seen some examples of petty revenge, but that takes the cake. I hope he had the book thrown at him.

[gunsage]

Ho. Ly. Crap. Granted, that was a sucky account in the first place, but I think we're all in agreement here of fearing the IRS, thinking various tax ninjas are going to come after us or something. Just freakin' wow.

[Depot Denizen]

I'm not sure what a 1099 is, but it doesn't sound pleasant.

[Emrld]

1099 is the form that company's file with the IRS for contract labor - basically it is a W4 for self employeed.

[Alpha Strike]

So I understand that the dipshit accountant was potentially committing fraud by lying about the hours and expenses the company was billed for. However, was the OP also on the hook because of what the accountant did? I'm just trying to understand why he was so bothered by what the accountant did, besides being dishonest...

[Pedersen]

That's actually easy enough to explain:

The 1099 is what is sent to the independent contractor. Legally, the IC is required to file the 1099 with other tax forms to show how much money was made. In addition, a 1099 shows a deduction for a business.

To use the numbers from the OP, the business made $1200 less last year, so has to pay taxes on $1200 less money of income. The OP has to pay taxes on $1200 income.

He got paid $50. Average tax rates show that the amount he got paid won't even pay the taxes on the amount the accountant claimed he got paid (he didn't even get paid 5% of what was claimed).

The IRS is now able to come after him for the money he didn't claim ($1150), and charge him the taxes, penalties, and interest.

That's the the OP was so bothered by it. And if it still doesn't make sense, ask yourself this question: Would I be okay with paying taxes on $1150 that I never earned, never saw, and never had a chance to hit my bank account because someone else lied about how much I was paid by them?

[Alpha Strike]

Thanks for the explanation - that makes perfect sense, especially in explaining why the OP was so pissed off!

[crashhelmet]

Thanks for helping explain it Pedersen. You're right. Originally, I was pissed at him trying to play the Entitlement/Demanding game and then lying to me when I had asked him if the phone line was plugged in. When I thought I was done with him is when I got the 1099 and really lost it.

CH

[marasbaras]

My suggestion to ALL techs here is: never, NEVER give into that game. It only leads to trouble and further demands.

"Well, my calculator was working just fine after you left from fixing the fax."

Seriously, just don't do it. Don't be nice with liars.

[protege]

The *only* time I've ever said that to a tech...was when our server suddenly keeled over...about 5 minutes after he left. Seriously, he came in to check on something else. Imagine our surprise...when the server went "pop," the noisy fans quit whirring, and we suddenly lost access to our data!

1099s suck. One of the companies I worked for did that to our branch. They were too lazy to set us up as an actual *branch* and instead, set us up as independent consultants. In other words, they didn't take out *any* taxes at all...leaving it up to us to figure it all out, and most of us owed several hundred in taxes. In short, we got fucked.