My best worst call ever...

[Shrakakoom]

I used to work for a phone company in their DSL department. When a customer would sign up for service a modem would be shipped to their home with nice full color instructions on how to hook it up. Said instructions are aparently greek to most people (even though it was full color and had very little writing on it), so we got a lot of calls where someone would set up the modem incorrectly and not know it. So begins my best worst call ever...

me: *opening spill*

sc: I just got your box in the mail and I cannot get the internet.

me: *verify account* OK. Tell me what the lights on the modem are doing.

**customer describes the light scheme and I notice that there is no light indicating a connection to the pc.**

me: Let's double check the ethernet cable from your modem to the computer and make sure it is plugged in correctly.

sc: Computer? What computer?

me: Your computer...

sc: My...? I don't own a computer. Look, I'm just trying to go to the internet. What do I do to get there?

me: Well, you need a computer for the modem to send the signal to in order to get online.

sc: But the lights are on. Just tell me what buttons I need to push.

me: Again, the modem just processes the signal from the internet so that your computer can go on the internet.

sc: But I want to go online.

me: Then you need a computer.

sc: Well, no one told me that when I called in for it. That is false advertising and deceptive selling. I demand that you get me the internet now!

This exchange went on for serveral minutes with me trying to explain that she needed a computer to actually use the internet. She finally just hung up.

[ShinyGreenApple]

It's Wonkavisionnet!

[MacPrince]

I'd almost be interested in asking her what exactly she thinks the Internet is.

Almost.

[Emrld]

You have to remember a while back there was a way to send e-mail and even some internet via your TV, a keyboard, and their box.

It is possible this woman thought she was getting a similar set up.

Not defending that you had to do rinse lather repeat with her . . .but it is a possible thought process.

I know that those of us who use these type of blog/ chat sites are at least silghtly familiar with the world of computers.
There are people that they are still foreign to.

[Hello Kitty]

And a long time ago, there was something called "Internet in a Box". Included modem and software, I think. TONS of people bought it without realizing you need a computer, even though it said so on the box.

[SpyOne]

My father can be a bit technophobic, so he never really got into computers.
So I was quite surprised when he, shortly after retiring, signed up for an adult education class on computers.
I still remember the tone of surprise in his voice when he told me that he didn't realize that a computer didn't come out of the box able to do all the wonderful things people told him it could do.
Like balance his check book. "You need to buy a piece of software seperately that tells it how to do that."

Now, this was 1989, when "pre-bundled software" was generally the latest version of MS-DOS and that's it, but I remember wondering how he hadn't got that before. I mean, that a computer was like a Dremel (rotory power tool): you could use it to do lots of different jobs (saw, sand, grind, polish), but that each of them requires an attachment, most of which are sold seperately.


Then again, he never had to worry that his Dremel might be conspiring with his VCR to block his favorite cable channels.
I tell you, these new "network-ready" appliances are the last thing he needs. While you or I might find it nifty that we can call up on our computer a utility that will tell us exactly how much electricity the refrigerator has been using, we are not going to be kept awake at night wondering what else they might be talking about.
No, he is definitely the kind of guy who needs a refrigerator that is keeping his food cold and doing absolutely nothing else.

[crazylegs]

sc: <snip> I demand that you get me the internet now!

Well thats a new demand I've not heard before, get me the internet, well madam we have it in a fine sheepskin bound edition totalling 25,000,000 books, would you like that on the standard or express shipping?

[Andara Bledin]

sc: But I want to go online.

me: Then you need a computer.

sc: Well, no one told me that when I called in for it. That is false advertising and deceptive selling. I demand that you get me the internet now!

But, you did get her the internet. She just had no way to see it, is all. But she still had it.

^-.-^

[Difdi]

sc: Computer? What computer?

You really need to put some sort of warning label on this...

[iradney]

LOL

I wonder if the woman is the same type that would do this:

SC: I want to drive! I have my license and everything!!

But...you need a car or vehicle of some sort??

SC: IT DOESN'T SAY ANYWHERE THAT I NEED A VEHICLE TO DRIVE!! WTFBBQ!!!1!!

[technical.angel]

sc: My...? I don't own a computer. Look, I'm just trying to go to the internet. What do I do to get there?

That's.... that's.... I think that's going into my annals of stupid, if I ever make it.

I mean, that a computer was like a Dremel (rotory power tool): you could use it to do lots of different jobs (saw, sand, grind, polish), but that each of them requires an attachment, most of which are sold seperately.

I'm really going to have to remember this. I think it could be really helpful!

[Shrakakoom]

To answer a couple of questions about the time:

WebTV was active at the time, and I thought of that as well, but when I asked the customer about it (later in the call) she had no idea what I was talking about. She literally just did not understand the concept of what the internet was. It unfortunetly was not the first or last time that I had people like that. I had a lady once ask me how the message that she typed on her computer got into her mailbox...after describing how email was sent out she asked me again and then asked me if she would have to go outside everytime she wanted to get these messages. I finally figured out that she was talking about the same mailbox that her normal mail went to.

[Skrae]

...And for the first time in weeks I suffer neural arrest...

[Banthor the Unruly]

I know that those of us who use these type of blog/ chat sites are at least silghtly familiar with the world of computers.
There are people that they are still foreign to.

Then she should not be signing up for the "Internets" before she know what the hell they are. You get a license before you can drive a car so you can learn what the hell you are doing. I don't think anyone, even the most idiotic of SCs thinks a computer is a simple tool, why do people think they can just buy one and have it magically work at the push of a button?

[Emrld]

Banthor - the reason some people think they can buy a computer and it will work at the push of a button - is called marketing.
When computers first started coming into homes the marketing plans used made them sound really easy.
I was High School/ Collage age when that started happening.
I know I was not the oldest person on the planet at that moment.
So you have a handful of generations older than myself that are no longer in school buying them. Prior to owning a computer - the only knowledge I had on them was what was in books in school.
Now we have generations that don't even know about homes without computers. Everyone has a computer in their little corner of the world.
You also have people from different socio economic areas moving into an area that all homes have computers and are told it is really easy . . . these are people who may never have seen a computer before or maybe have a handful of times.
I know that my Dad digs his heels in at the thought of a computer. When he was in corporate America all the young people told him how easy and simple computers were . . . .they weren't (think way back to word star . . .where you had to you alt and ctrl plus function keys etc) Granted things are much easier that they were then.

Basically computers are still foreign to plenty of people on this planet.

At least the lady was attempting to keep up with the times.
As for the comment about a license to drive a car . . .I can think of a ton of things that don't require a license and have a much bigger impact on the world as we know it that people partake of without knowledge.