After a few years of working in tech support, while I can't say that I've heard it all - I like to say that I've heard a lot of it. It takes an exceptionally high dose of crazy for a customer to actually creep me out.
Yeah - this dude creeped me the hell out.
BCC=Batshiat Crazy Caller
Me=Me
(A minute into the conversation)
Me: The e-mail that you received was not actually a renewal notice, but if you'll read it a little closer, it's a procedural FYI sent out to all customers informing you that we do not autorenew domain names. We send out notices before domains expire, but a lot of people were ignoring them thinking the domains were going to autorenew
BCC: Okay, don't attack me for ignoring anything! <tirade>
Me: Sir, I'm not attacking y...
BCC: Yes you are! Don't attack me! I clicked on all these links on your site and it doesn't recognize my e-mail and <tirade>
Me: Okay sir, I need you to go to (address). I'm gong to send your username and pa....
BCC: How do I get to manage my accounts? It doesn't recognize my e-mail address and I clicked... <tirade>
Me: Okay sir I'm going to send...
BCC: <tirade>
Me: Sir, I need you to listen to what I'm saying
BCC: There you go again! Don't attack me! <tirade>
Me: Sir, I need you to listen to me.
BCC: You sure love those words don't you - I need you to listen to what I'M SAYING! You need to stop attacking me... <tirade>
Me: Sir, I'm not attacking you!
BCC: Yes you are! <tirade>
Me: Sir, I'm just trying to explain this to you. We had a lot of complaints that the renewal process was not clear enough from customers. We would send out renewal notices, but people would ignore them thinking the domain would autorenew, so we sent this notice out to everyone to ensure that it doesn't happen in the future. I'm not accusing you of ignoring anything.
BCC: So you're sending me out this notice for domains that could expire ten years from now? And I'm expected to remember this? That's a bit crazy.
Me: No sir, we'll still send out notices 90 days, 60 days, 30 days, and 5 days prior to domain name expiration.
BCC: So how do I find out what these account numbers mean?
Me: Okay sir, I'll look those up for you.
... I look up the accounts and e-mail him his usernames and passwords. I tell him that I am e-mailing him his usernames and passwords. Repeatedly. For each account I look up, I tell him where the username and password will be mailed to - it's all to the same address.
So I close the ticket, document the accusations of attacking him since I'm probably going to get reamed on that, and go on my merry way. I check out his site...
The dude's a doctor.
A surgeon.
Yeah - I would NOT want that crazy mofo operating on me! My coworker says his behavior is just due to a sense of entitlement because he's a doctor - I say screw medicine, that guy is not too tightly wrapped.
So 5 minutes later, there's a reply to the ticket:
"No, I am still unable to sign in. Please send my used names and passwords"
Yeah - this dude creeped me the hell out.
BCC=Batshiat Crazy Caller
Me=Me
(A minute into the conversation)
Me: The e-mail that you received was not actually a renewal notice, but if you'll read it a little closer, it's a procedural FYI sent out to all customers informing you that we do not autorenew domain names. We send out notices before domains expire, but a lot of people were ignoring them thinking the domains were going to autorenew
BCC: Okay, don't attack me for ignoring anything! <tirade>
Me: Sir, I'm not attacking y...
BCC: Yes you are! Don't attack me! I clicked on all these links on your site and it doesn't recognize my e-mail and <tirade>
Me: Okay sir, I need you to go to (address). I'm gong to send your username and pa....
BCC: How do I get to manage my accounts? It doesn't recognize my e-mail address and I clicked... <tirade>
Me: Okay sir I'm going to send...
BCC: <tirade>
Me: Sir, I need you to listen to what I'm saying
BCC: There you go again! Don't attack me! <tirade>
Me: Sir, I need you to listen to me.
BCC: You sure love those words don't you - I need you to listen to what I'M SAYING! You need to stop attacking me... <tirade>
Me: Sir, I'm not attacking you!
BCC: Yes you are! <tirade>
Me: Sir, I'm just trying to explain this to you. We had a lot of complaints that the renewal process was not clear enough from customers. We would send out renewal notices, but people would ignore them thinking the domain would autorenew, so we sent this notice out to everyone to ensure that it doesn't happen in the future. I'm not accusing you of ignoring anything.
BCC: So you're sending me out this notice for domains that could expire ten years from now? And I'm expected to remember this? That's a bit crazy.
Me: No sir, we'll still send out notices 90 days, 60 days, 30 days, and 5 days prior to domain name expiration.
BCC: So how do I find out what these account numbers mean?
Me: Okay sir, I'll look those up for you.
... I look up the accounts and e-mail him his usernames and passwords. I tell him that I am e-mailing him his usernames and passwords. Repeatedly. For each account I look up, I tell him where the username and password will be mailed to - it's all to the same address.
So I close the ticket, document the accusations of attacking him since I'm probably going to get reamed on that, and go on my merry way. I check out his site...
The dude's a doctor.
A surgeon.
Yeah - I would NOT want that crazy mofo operating on me! My coworker says his behavior is just due to a sense of entitlement because he's a doctor - I say screw medicine, that guy is not too tightly wrapped.
So 5 minutes later, there's a reply to the ticket:
"No, I am still unable to sign in. Please send my used names and passwords"

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