If you are going to be rude ....

[AlleyCat]

I am Tech Support, inbound call center.

If a customer are going to be rude .... and yell at me, since I am not allowed/supposed to SWEAR right back at the customer, I have 2 options: Transfer your call to India, where they say THANK YOU, every 20 seconds, and is not very helpful at all.

.... or hit the RELEASE button.

exterminate annihilate F*ING destroy!

I am in need of a little revenge. Soon, my little friends, soon.

[Der Cute]

I've always wanted a magic button on the phone that blows up the other end of the phone line.

SC: Why can't you fix this? It's only 10 years old, there should be parts for it today! I don't care if it's been discontinued and was only made in Mongolia on the top of the mountain, it needs to be fixed for me today! I need that GDMF report done 5 minutes ago and if that puter isn't fixed in the next 10 seconds I'm going to come over there and ....


Call Center Techy: *special button*

SC: *POOOOOF*

CCT: Have a nice day.

Cutenoob

[Ironclad Alibi]

Option 3: In a very sickly sweet voice, tell the rude customer that you didn't understand their comment, and could they please slowly repeat it for you.

[AriRashkae]

I'd settle for a shock button, since I doe believe that some people are merely ignorant and can be retrained. Ignorance is traceable to lack of experience with a situation (such as behaving properly) and can be corrected.

You can't fix stupid.

[callcentressuck]

lol u guys are nuts!! I can definitely emphasize!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I want a "stab the person on the other end of the phone in the face" button myself. The I get to hear their dying screams as their face gets ripped apart, spilling brains and skull fragments hither and yon.

It really would've come in handy yesterday, when I had a woman asking me approximately 5,381 questions about a small table whilst smacking and slurping on some kind of drink or foodstuff.

[BlaqueKatt]

spilling brains and skull fragments hither and yon.

ok see that's just pure fantasy-SCs with brains to spill you expect me to believe that?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

ok see that's just pure fantasy-SCs with brains to spill you expect me to believe that?

All right all right! Wads of used bubble gum instead. Happy?

[BlaqueKatt]

All right all right! Wads of used bubble gum instead. Happy?

i suppose though I thought their heads were full of sawdust and bunnies.....happy thoughts are unnatural and wrong......

[ShadowTiger]

I like the "I'm sorry, can you repeat that, please?" method. ... the one where you do apologize for the faulty connection that you are never able to fix.

"I'm sorry ma'am, can you please repeat that? We're having some trouble on our side of the line, and I can't quite make out what you're saying..." Just repeat that over and over again.

If you're not monitored, (And who isn't. ) I was briefly considering the following:

(SC - Sucky customer on the phone.) (M - Tech Support / Whoever you the reader is.)

SC - *annoying question #42,842*
M - Slippery Mutton?
SC - Did you just say slippery mutton?
M - No, I said eat all my dutton.
SC - eat all your dutton?!
M - Benjamin Button!
SC - Benjamin Button!?
M - NO, Tickle Unbutton!! Are you hearing me correctly sir?

Basically the South Park Ms. Crabtree Effect, inclusive of its alternative sidestepping, if you recall.

[Taubin]

I guess this is one area where I'm lucky where I work. I can, and have, yelled back at my customers, then reported them to their managers. Usually, I get a call back, along with accompanying email saying how sorry the user is

[AlleyCat]

(SC - Sucky customer on the phone.) (M - Tech Support / Whoever you the reader is.)

SC - *annoying question #42,842*
M - Slippery Mutton?
SC - Did you just say slippery mutton?
M - No, I said eat all my dutton.
SC - eat all your dutton?!
M - Benjamin Button!
SC - Benjamin Button!?
M - NO, Tickle Unbutton!! Are you hearing me correctly sir?

Basically the South Park Ms. Crabtree Effect, inclusive of its alternative sidestepping, if you recall.

I am so going to use that !!!