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I'm actually a software writer, and usually don't get anywhere near customers, but in my previous job our so called customer support person just figured out which program was having trouble and flicked the call over to the programmer who wrote that particular one.
Cue major backstory:
In this particular tale, the software was a relatively basic backup module for our main document management solution. It would (based on some criteria provided) move documents to offline storage and update the document management solution with the new locations and the fact it was offline. If a user then wanted to view the document the document management solution would prompt for the offline volume. In the case of this customer the offline storage was a jukebox (very similar to a music jukebox) and it used discs which were basically CD's in a little hard case (this is important). When I was writing the software, the company actually borrowed a jukebox for a week or so, so I did know a little about the hardware (it was very cool - it held a few hundred discs and if the requested disc was internal it would load and be ready after about 20 seconds, otherwise it would pop up a message box asking for the disc by the volume label). However my knowledge was very slim pickings, I'd never seen a manual, only had one to play with for a few days etc.
End backstory.
My phone rings, customer support guy says he's got client X (a government department actually) on the phone and they are getting an error with program BackupProg.
(I don't really remember the conversation other than in vague terms and the ending line, so this is all paraphrasing...)
Me: Hi this is Cat, I understand you're having a problem with BackupProg
X: yes, it's giving me an error message when I try to archive.
Me: Ok, could you read me the error message
X: (messes around for a while since he didn't write it down and needs to reproduce it), it says "could not write to file z:\blah blah. Error code 1034"
Me: Ok, just let me look that up for you.
(I look at my code, find the message and determine that the error is returned from a simple OS call to copy the file. I then look up 1034 error code from the OS call and discover it says the problem is that it is unable to write to the destination.)
Me: Ok, it looks like there is a problem with the drive you're trying to write to. Could you open windows explorer and see if you can access it?
X: Alright, um how do I do that?
(sometime later, after I do some step by step explaining on how to open windows explorer and navigate to z:\blah blah)
X: it says it can't read the disc.
Me: I'm afraid that this means the problem is with your hardware, and I can't help you any further. You'll need to contact your IT department and have them check the jukebox.
X: Ok
Me: Alright then, bye.
Ten minutes later - the big boss comes down.
Boss: Cat I understand you got a call from client X about a problem with BackupProg
Me: Yes?
Boss: Well they just rang me, and they're not happy. You have to ring them back and sort the problem out!
Me: But...
Boss: Just do it. (stalks off)
Me: (mutters)
*ring ring*
Reception: Hi blah blah blah how may I direct your call?
Me: I'd like to talk to X please?
Reception: Certainly, I'll just put you through to IT.
Me: !!! (thinks - this guy *is* IT support?)
X: Yes?
Me: It's Cat from Company, about BackupProg
X: So whats wrong with it?
< Snip of about 20 minutes of me struggling through talking this inDUHvidual on basic windows troubleshooting - I admit in retrospect I probably should have gotten to the solution step sooner... but I did foolishly expect them to have done *some* troubleshooting>
Me: Could you have the jukebox eject the disc, please
X: Oh. Its cracked in half. Do you think that would make any difference?
Me: (subvocal: GGGGGGGGNNNNNNNN) Yes, you'll need to replace that disc. Is there anything else you're having trouble with?
X: No
Me: Ok, have a nice day.
**SIGH** I still get worked up about that one to this day (and it was about 10 years ago that it happened)
Cue major backstory:
In this particular tale, the software was a relatively basic backup module for our main document management solution. It would (based on some criteria provided) move documents to offline storage and update the document management solution with the new locations and the fact it was offline. If a user then wanted to view the document the document management solution would prompt for the offline volume. In the case of this customer the offline storage was a jukebox (very similar to a music jukebox) and it used discs which were basically CD's in a little hard case (this is important). When I was writing the software, the company actually borrowed a jukebox for a week or so, so I did know a little about the hardware (it was very cool - it held a few hundred discs and if the requested disc was internal it would load and be ready after about 20 seconds, otherwise it would pop up a message box asking for the disc by the volume label). However my knowledge was very slim pickings, I'd never seen a manual, only had one to play with for a few days etc.
End backstory.
My phone rings, customer support guy says he's got client X (a government department actually) on the phone and they are getting an error with program BackupProg.
(I don't really remember the conversation other than in vague terms and the ending line, so this is all paraphrasing...)
Me: Hi this is Cat, I understand you're having a problem with BackupProg
X: yes, it's giving me an error message when I try to archive.
Me: Ok, could you read me the error message
X: (messes around for a while since he didn't write it down and needs to reproduce it), it says "could not write to file z:\blah blah. Error code 1034"
Me: Ok, just let me look that up for you.
(I look at my code, find the message and determine that the error is returned from a simple OS call to copy the file. I then look up 1034 error code from the OS call and discover it says the problem is that it is unable to write to the destination.)
Me: Ok, it looks like there is a problem with the drive you're trying to write to. Could you open windows explorer and see if you can access it?
X: Alright, um how do I do that?
(sometime later, after I do some step by step explaining on how to open windows explorer and navigate to z:\blah blah)
X: it says it can't read the disc.
Me: I'm afraid that this means the problem is with your hardware, and I can't help you any further. You'll need to contact your IT department and have them check the jukebox.
X: Ok
Me: Alright then, bye.
Ten minutes later - the big boss comes down.
Boss: Cat I understand you got a call from client X about a problem with BackupProg
Me: Yes?
Boss: Well they just rang me, and they're not happy. You have to ring them back and sort the problem out!
Me: But...
Boss: Just do it. (stalks off)
Me: (mutters)
*ring ring*
Reception: Hi blah blah blah how may I direct your call?
Me: I'd like to talk to X please?
Reception: Certainly, I'll just put you through to IT.
Me: !!! (thinks - this guy *is* IT support?)
X: Yes?
Me: It's Cat from Company, about BackupProg
X: So whats wrong with it?
< Snip of about 20 minutes of me struggling through talking this inDUHvidual on basic windows troubleshooting - I admit in retrospect I probably should have gotten to the solution step sooner... but I did foolishly expect them to have done *some* troubleshooting>
Me: Could you have the jukebox eject the disc, please
X: Oh. Its cracked in half. Do you think that would make any difference?
Me: (subvocal: GGGGGGGGNNNNNNNN) Yes, you'll need to replace that disc. Is there anything else you're having trouble with?
X: No
Me: Ok, have a nice day.
**SIGH** I still get worked up about that one to this day (and it was about 10 years ago that it happened)
Eric the Grey
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