Two days worth of phone stories...

[Twotall]

I've been away for a couple of days, while my ISP was fixing the malfunction that left me without Internet connection. Luckily (?) I manged to amass a busload of stories in the last two days. It's vacation time in Norway, and apparently, everyone's brain shuts down:

1. Who's calling?

Guy: "Hi, I ordered your phone services, but I'm missing the function that allows me to see who's calling on the display of the phone".
Me: "Ok, how long have you had this problem?"
Guy: "It was working fine on my old phone, but I recently bought a new wireless. I never had this problem with my old phone service"
Me: "So, it has never worked on your new phone?"
Guy: "No, that is, I have never used it. I haven't put in the batteries and turned it on yet."

Miraculously, switching the phone ON helped...

2. Spot the Obvious, 101

Woman: "We just switched our mobile phone services over to you, and it was made active today. But when we turn on the phone, it asks us for a PIN code. Where do we get this?"
Me: "Did you receive a letter along with the card for your phone?"
Woman: "Yes, but we haven't opened it yet"

Take one guess how we inform people of their codes.

3. Spot Obvious 102

Man: "I was wondering if you had, lying around somewhere, a brochure that was published by [other company] in 1994? You were mentioned on the back page, so I was hoping..."

Nope, we don't. How about trying the people who published the da*n thing, twelve years ago, who are still operational, and are listed in the phone book?

4. Gettin' technical

Customer's cable had fallen out, I was troubleshooting.
Me: "OK, you have one wire going from your TV to the silver box, and another cable going from the silver box to the outlet, that's the black box on the wall..."
Cust.: "Slow down! I don't understand all this technical stuff!"

How could I dumb that down?


I have a few more stories, but I think they have to go in the more general "Sucky Customers" forum. Hope you enjoy this choice selection for now!

[Phone Jockey]

How could I dumb that down?

Speak slower. Sometimes that's how my customers understand me. Oh, and speak with inflection. Customers get easily distracted if you don't keep their interested. Maybe a shriek every now & again would work.

[JustADude]

How could I dumb that down?

You used the words wire and cable to talk about the same thing. That confuses the poor idiots.

[ShockQueen]

"Wire" and "cable" are fun to swap, but what's even better is when they confuse "modem" and "router". Some people just don't know the difference, even though when they buy a "router", is SAYS SO right on the box!

*HEADDESK!!*

[Twotall]

You used the words wire and cable to talk about the same thing. That confuses the poor idiots.

Actually, I didn't - I used the Norwegian word "ledning" both times. But I was not really sure about the proper translation and mixed up. Sorry.

[JustADude]

Actually, I didn't - I used the Norwegian word "ledning" both times. But I was not really sure about the proper translation and mixed up. Sorry.

Okay then, so you CAN'T dumb it down that way. And my point was that the two words ARE interchangable when talking about ethernet

[Customer Beating Robot]

"Wire" and "cable" are fun to swap, but what's even better is when they confuse "modem" and "router". Some people just don't know the difference, even though when they buy a "router", is SAYS SO right on the box!

*HEADDESK!!*

The policy where I work is that if the modem works, the router is your problem. Now, if they are nice about it, I will help them. Most routers aren't too hard. But you always get the snutty a**hole who doesn't understand why you can't help him setup his wireless router, his network printer, his VoIP box and his 3 computers (1 Windows, 1 Mac, and 1 Linux). As far as he is concered if his PS2 can't get online through the wireless router then our internet isn't working. I am sorry, but your network is your problem.

[ZumZum]

Customers get easily distracted if you don't keep their interested. Maybe a shriek every now & again would work.

Ok, I don't know why, but that made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the giggle.

[Crosshair]

So many Norwegan Jokes, so little time.

Just kidding.

/Last name is Norwegan.

[repsac]

how could you dumb it down? Try this.

Ok, see the black thingamabob that comes out of the wall thingy. Yeah, the thing that's shaped like a nipple but has threads on it? Well, you wanna screw that thingamabob onto the nipple thingy. Careful though, there's a small bit of wire in the thingamabob that you don't wanna bend. That dohickey there goes inside the nipple thingy and if it's bent you ain't gonna get any nascar races. Trust me on this. Ok, now don't screw the thingamabob on too tight either. You'll just make the threads on the nipple thingy go all wonky and make it impossible to get off. Plus, you might bend the wire dohickey and that ain't good either. Ok, got it all hooked up? Ok, now remember what I told you? Well on the back of your TV, there should be a few other nipple looking things. Three of em may be red, yellow, and white. You don't wanna stick the thingamabob on those since it won't work. Sides, they don't have any threads to hold it on and duct tape won't help. Hole's too big. Ok, on the other side you may have a few screws. Thems for your antenna. We'll not worry bout them for now. Ok, see the nipple thingy again? Yeah, well that's where you screw the thingamabob in again.

Now that's all done, take the plug thingy and put it in the wall holes. Make sure you got it right so you don't get a shock and try it now.

[Comp_geek]

I love it when people come to me with questions about something totally unrealted to a computer and then wehn I start explaining they feel the need to interrup with the ever famous

"Oh I don't know anything about computers, he he"

That's when I say: "That's alright, this has nothing to do with a computer so you don't have to worry about that"