I Walked Out

[customersruinmylife]

To the SC's in my bar...please behave. We already had the smoker twins who managed to get themselves arrested after throwing a briefcase at me, don't think we're afraid to call the cops on you!

I wasn't technically involved in any of this, as I had finished my shift and was having a few beers in the bar with a friend. Service had stopped, and my co-workers were going around asking people to drink up and leave.

A couple were sat next to one of the exits. They completely ignored all of the requests and they ended up being the only people left in the bar. Co-worker went over, asked them to leave again, and proceeded to open the exit doors they were sat next to. Another co-worker went over to keep her company.

All of a sudden, all I hear is "TAKE THAT BITCH!" and a MASSIVE jet of water coming out of the area they were in. My two co-workers starting running across the bar, screaming my managers name. One of them was SOAKED from head to toe.

Everyone who was working and myself ran over to the exits. The couple were gone, and a FIRE EXTINGUISHER was lying on the floor.

The couple did not like being asked to leave, so they unhooked it from the wall, and proceeded to shoot my co-worker with it! She was absolutely drenched, she looked like a drowned rat. Also, the water in the extinguisher was treated water, so her eyes were bright red and itchy. The strong chemically smell was also making her wheeze and cough.

The carpets were soaked, the quiz machines were soaked, lights were out, the water was EVERYWHERE.

Manager called the police whilst I looked through the security camera footage (I seem to be the only person who knows how to work it!) We had the CLEAREST images EVER of them doing it. They did it right in front of the camera in a well lit area.

They were picked up by the police...the guy was caught urinating at our bins...so not only did they trash the bar and assault a member of staff, they didn't even attempt a decent getaway!

They have been charged with assault and criminal damage

But wait...there's more!

The next day they came in for a drink! Someone who was working the night before went up to them.

CW: Get out!
SC: Wha...wha..why?
CW: You bloody well know why. After what you did last night! We're pressing charges! Get out! NOW!
SC: It...it...it...it wasn't me! It was my identical twin!
CW: Well maybe you should have a word with your identical twin...because he's fucking your girlfriend!

They stormed out...looking very offended.

I don't know what's going to happen now. I will try and keep you all updated, but I only have four shifts to go before I leave!

[customersruinmylife]

I decided a few months ago I wanted to go back to college and get myself out of the bartending world. Unfortunately I missed the deadline for the course I am interested in, and will now have to wait until September 2010 before I can go back.

I thought to myself "Ah well, no biggie. I can do another year easy!"

I now seriously believe I will have walked from the job in a matter of weeks.

Of course I would never just stop showing up. I would like a reference But it has now reached a point where I dread going into work. And when I say dread, I mean I feel sick to my stomach.

I used to love barwork, but as I moved higher up, the shit got worse and worse. Things were so much easier when I was just a lowly bartender making drinks! Being in charge of a bar is one of the most draining experiences I have ever encountered.

Mornings are the worst. All you get is scum. Alcoholics with very little teeth, who smell and spend all their time glaring at you and complaining. The pub hadn't been open five minutes, and I had a line of a dozen alcoholics at the bar, grunting impatiently at me. That sight alone made me feel depressed.

I love my co-workers, in the short time I have been there, I have made some very close friends. Two have already said that if I leave, they're coming with me.

[customersruinmylife]

I am taking a weeks holiday, not so I can rest, but so I can find a new job ASAP. I have GOT to get out of there. All of this has happened over the past 2 days.

Annoying Child 1

If yesterday was a hint to what summer is going to be like in that place, I know I am making the right decision about leaving. It has been very warm where I live in the UK, and the pub is next to the beach. So, all day yesterday the pub was overrun with children.

I love children, but I work in an environment that is not suitable for them. So when I am at work, I HATE them. All of the children were cranky. Half were cranky because they wanted to go to the beach, and the other half were cranky because they had just been to the beach and were sunburned and tired.

Then there was this kid.

So there I am, placing some glasses through the glasswash window, when all I hear is:

Child: NO!! I DON'T WANT TO GOOOOOOOO!!

I look, and all of a sudden a kid, probably about 6 years old, has wrapped himself around my leg! He was clinging on to me like I was a post, he was VERY close to my crotch and about an inch away from my balls.

I just froze. I didn't dare move. His idiot mother showed up.

Mother: Let go of the man sweetie.
Child: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mother: Come on sweetie, let go of the man. It's time to go home.
Child: NOOOOOOOO! I WANT TO GO TO THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACH!!

The mother timidly grabbed the childs hand. The child sunk his nails into my leg. I panicked and started shaking my leg.

Mother: Come on sweetie...

She managed to get him off me. She took his hand and walked out. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, and she reacted like he was the most innocent precious child in the world.

Oh. And did she say a word to me?

Did she fuck.

Nintendo Emergency

A frantic mother appeared at the bar.

Mother: Do you have any plug sockets that are free! It's an emergency.

I figured she needed to use the phone.

Me: Unfortunately the only sockets in the customer area are being used for the TV and gaming machines...
Mother: Oh God!
Me: Do you need to charge a phone?
Mother: No! The battery has died on my daughters Nintendo DS! She needs to charge it.

I could do nothing but sigh.

The daughter sat sulking for the rest of her stay.

Annoying Child 92384831158676

I got a bit fed up and did a head count.

There were twenty-five screaming children in the pub.

Usually it's an event if there's more than one! But twenty-five?!?!

No, I don't know

A lady sent back her meal.

SC: Can I have a fresh meal please?
Me: OK, what seems to be the problem?
SC: It's just so...you know!
Me: I'm sorry?
SC: It's just...it's just...you know!
Me: Riiiiight.
SC: Oh! Well never mind then!

The Twilight Bathroom Zone

SC: Excuse me, I seem to be lost! Can you give me some directions please?
Me: Oh...I'll try, but I don't live around here so I'm not sure how useful I will be...
SC: Can you tell me where the toilets are?

Again, I sighed.

Me: Just look for the neon sign that says "TOILETS"

It was above his head.

I Am Octopus

A family of eight ordered food. I can carry four plates at a time, but it's a struggle. I give them the first four meals.

Me: OK, I'll just be right ba-
Mother: Excuse me?!? Where are the rest of our meals????

My patience is wearing thin.

Me: I'm sorry, a witch put a curse on my mother, and as a result, I was only born with two arms.

The seven other people she was sat with laughed.

Nice Doggy

Someone brought a dog into the garden again!

Me: I'm sorry, but no dogs are allowed in the garden.
SC: Aw come on! He wouldn't hurt a fl-

The dog went apeshit and started snarling and snapping at me.

I just folded my arms and gave the SC a death look.

SC: Fine. We'll go.

Take your time

I went to serve on the bar.

SC: Can I order some food please?
Me: Sure, what can I get you?
SC: Well I don't know! I've only just walked in! In fact, do you have a menu I could look at?

I didn't have any handy.

Me: They are on the tables.
SC: Right, I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!

I went on my break.

Shout at me, and you will wait longer

I came back from my break and the bar was busy. I have absolutely no idea who is next.

Me: Ok, who was next please?

SC1: PINT OF CARLING!
SC2: FOSTERS!
SC3: BOTTLE OF BUD AND TWO PINTS OF JOHN SMITHS!
SC4: GUINESS!
SC5: DOUBLE VODKA AND COKE!

Yep, they all shouted at me at the exact same time. No "Can I have..." No "Please..."

I now officially no longer give a fuck.

Me: Oh! There's a dirty table in the customer area! Sorry guys! I'm gonna have to go clean it!

I walked off the bar.

If you're gonna lie...

I take food out to a table.

SC: Thank you. I hope it's a lot better than yesterday!
Me: Oh? What happened yesterday?
SC: The food was awful, and the attitude of the manager was appauling! We complained and he blanked us and walked off!
Me: Really??
SC: Yes!
Me: What time did this happen at?
SC: Oh, about lunch time.

Wait, I was the manager at that point! And I don't recall any complaints from them.

Me: Well, the only manager here at that time was me.
SC: Oh...uhhhh....maybe it...wasn't here then...maybe...uhhh...actually, now I think about it, it wasn't here! So silly of me! It was at *rival pub that looks NOTHING like ours*

Yeah, I think she was after something.

Oh just die already!

A co-worker and me finished at the same time. He asked if I wanted a drink after work. I agreed, as long as it wasn't there! So we went to the rival pub.

We walked inside, and two of the regular smelly alcoholic customers were there. It was happy hour, so they were there to get a cheap drink.

Regular: I think you'll find you're in the wrong pub gents! You should be in that one over there.
Me: Haha. (it was VERY forced)

The two regulars then moved from their current table, and sat at the one next to us! Co-worker and me were chatting (he was trying to convince me not to leave, he gave up in the end) and our conversation was constantly interrupted.

Regular: You had a busy day then?

Regular: Got any special offers coming up?

Regular: Are you working tomorrow?

Regular: Any chance of a discount next time I come in?

Regular: Don't be coming into work with a hangover tomorrow!

I turned to co-worker.

Me: Drink up. We're outta here.

Co-worker and me ended up going to a store, buying beer and going back to his house.

I fucking hope it rains tomorrow so all the customers will stay indoors.

[customersruinmylife]

The pub has a doorbell, but it is hidden so that it can only be used by employees who wish to get in on the morning.

I may have ranted about this guy in a thread before, but I'm going to again. I just refer to him as Old Man.

Some days of the week, I am at the pub two hours before it opens so I can let the cleaners in, do a stock take, let in deliveries, you know, things like that. Old Man will show up the second I unlock the door to let myself in. I don't know where the fuck he comes from, but the second I click that lock, he is there trying to get in. He knows what time we open, due to the fact he is in there drinking every. single. day. So why the fuck does he try and get in?

Old Man will then circle the pub for two hours. It doesn't matter what the weather is like, he will continually walk past, staring at me, giving me evil looks for not letting him in. He doesn't seem to get the fact that there could be a hurricane out there for all I cared, and I STILL wouldn't let him in. There is also a pub that opens early down the road. I don't get why he just doesn't shelter in there until we open.

As he circles the pub, he will look for other ways to get in. He once tried entering through the cellar when I had the doors open to let a delivery in. One day, while a cleaner was cleaning the garden, he saw that she had left the fire exit door open behind her. Old Man SPRINTED across the garden to try and get in. A cook spotted him and slammed the door just as he was a couple of metres away from it. Old Man then pressed his face against the glass. Cleaner then went apeshit because she had just cleaned those windows.

After giving up looking for ways to enter the pub before we open, he spends the last half hour at one of the entrances. He just stands there, staring at us. The cleaners are busy, me and the cook are busy unloading boxes, and he just looks at us, shaking his head as if we are just sitting around having a coffee.

Fifteen minutes before open, a co-worker will appear. Co-worker will ring the doorbell to get my attention. Old Man has now discovered where the doorbell is. Old Man will also rant at co-worker about how long he has been stood there and how unfair it is that he hasn't been let in.

I have been working at the pub for four months now, and I have been dealing with this Old Man every single morning. I am now tired of him. I have been trying to find ways to annoy him on purpose, like unlocking all the pub doors reeeeeaaaalllly slowly, and then opening the door he is stood at last. One day I pretended the key got stuck in the lock. The look of panic on his face was hilarious. Another thing he will do that really annoys me, is that when I go to unlock his door, he will YANK it open, while I am still holding on to the handle.

So, now you get the jist of how annoying Old Man is. Let's fast forward to yesterday.

It's five minutes before we open, and I have everything done. I am discussing what to do about a broken toilet in the gents with a cleaner, when I hear:

DING DONG! DING DONG! DING DONG!

I look. Old Man is ringing the doorbell repeatedly! I storm up to the door and unlock it. He attempts to yank the door open, but I pull the door back so it is open just a crack.

Me: Yes?
Old Man: You're not doing anything. I want in.
Me: It's only five to the hour. We don't open for five minutes.
Old Man: But you're not doing anything.
Me: Doesn't matter. We're not open.
Old Man: That's ridiculous.
Me: No, what I find ridiculous is you ringing our doorbell. We are not here to be summoned like that! You know what time we open, you are here at the same time every day. Please understand that I will never, EVER open these doors a minute before I have to.
Old Man: There's no need to be rude.

I just shut the door and locked it. I made myself a coffee and opened ten minutes late. No other customers were waiting, so I thought I'd teach him a lesson. When I did let him in, he reacted like nothing happened, and spoke to me really cheerfully.

Old Man: Good morning!

I think he was trying to make me feel bad. But I know he will be back at the same time tomorrow, and the cycle will start all over again.

[customersruinmylife]

There are no words. I have never, EVER seen anything like this. It was sad, it was sick and it was bizarre.

I've mentioned in previous posts that the pub is located just next to a church, so that means we get quite a lot of people in that have just attended a service, wedding or funeral. All of these groups are among the most entitled people I have ever known, especially the funerals.

It was quiet, and gradually, a funeral party started coming into the pub one by one. It was a depressing sight. It was a bright and sunny day, and I was in a good mood for once! And then a massive group of depressed people dressed in black came in.

And along came the widow...

The widow was in her late forties/early fifties, and she was practically carried into the pub by her twenty-something son and a friend. They had linked arms with her and were basically dragging her along she was that distraught. I am not exaggerating when I say she was howling like this:

Widow: AAAAAAAHHHWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAHHHWOOOOOOOOOOO!

She was sobbing her poor heart out. The son and friend sat her down, and decided the smart thing to do would be to buy her a bottle of wine.

So, for about an hour, the funeral were standing around drinking, and all we heard for an hour straight was "AAAAAHHHHHWWOOOOOO!!" from the corner where the widow was sat! It was getting very difficult to be sympathetic. Other customers were leaving because of her, and all I could think was "For fuck's sake, someone take her home!!"

And then an unwelcome guest showed up. We'll call her Mistress.

Mistress, in a similar drunken/distraught state, barged up to Widow.

Mistress: YOU MAY HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO HIM, BUT I WAS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!!
Widow: AAAAAHHHHWWWOOOOOOOO!! FUCK OFF! YOU WEREN'T INVITED TO THE FUNERAL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? AAAAHHHHHWWWOOOOOOOOO!!
Mistress: I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE AT THAT FUNERAL! I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME!
Widow: BUT HE DIDN'T PICK YOU DID HE?? AHHHHWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!! HE MARRIED ME!!
Mistress: BUT HE STILL LOVED ME!!
Widow: I WISH HE HAD PICKED YOU! THAT BASTARD HAS RAN UP A £7000 CREDIT CARD BILL IN MY NAME! WHO'S GOING TO PAY FOR THAT NOW??? AHHHHWOOOOOOOO!
Mistress: HE ONLY RAN UP SUCH A BILL TO BUY YOU ALL THE SHIT YOU DEMANDED! I WISH YOU HAD DIED INSTEAD!
Widow: YOU BITCH! AHHHHHWOOOOOOOOOOO!

Widow punched Mistress in the face. Widow's poor son tried to get in the middle but was shoved out of the way by Mistress. Next thing we knew, there was a full on cat fight happening! They had each other by the hair and were spinning around in circles!

What I found the most shocking was that not one member of the funeral party attempted to stop it. Finally, Widow's friend and son jumped in and pulled Mistress of her.

Widow's friend dragged Mistress outside, whilst the son tried to call Widow down. Her "AAAHHHHHWOOOOOOOO!"'s had grown about ten times louder. Widow's son met eyes with me, and he simply nodded his head, picked Widow up and led her out the back door.

Mistress and Widow's friend were stood outside arguing for about 20 minutes before Mistress finally left. The rest of the funeral party didn't stay long. They got the hint and went to a pub down the road.

It was such an awful sight. The cat fight only lasted about ten seconds, so there wasn't enough time to get near a phone to call the police. I just cannot believe such behaviour could happen at a funeral. I bet the guy who died is very proud of them.

[customersruinmylife]

This was HILARIOUS.

For some crazy reason, our door to the pub garden went crazy. Every time it was opened, it set off the Intruder Alarm...even if it was switched off. We had no idea why this was going on, so we locked the door and called out someone to come look at it. This annoyed the customers a little, as it meant they had to walk all the way around the building if they wanted to go into the garden for a cigarette (but the weather was shitty anyway!)

So, it's very quiet, and me and my co-workers are basically standing around waiting for customers, as there was that little to do. All of a sudden, we here the BANG of the front door being thrown open.

We look and see a young chavvy looking boy, probably about 15, sprinting across the pub, carrying a womans purse! We here another BANG and see two police officers, followed by a husband and wife run into the pub.

Officer: *down radio* We are in pursuit of the suspect, he is inside *my pub*

Guess what the chav did...

...he ran for the broken door...which was locked! He was going to try and escape through our garden. Realising there was no escape, he started punching the door over and over again, probably believing he could break it open. The officers ran up to him, and slammed him down on the floor. They began to cuff him.

Officer: We are placing you under arrest for theft. You do not have to say anything...*you know how it goes *

The purse he was carrying belonged to the husband and wife that entered after the officers. One of the officers had to hold the husband back as he tried to attack the chav. They all left without saying a single word to any of us!

It was all over in less than a minute. My co-workers and I were stood, with looks of on our faces.

[customersruinmylife]

This involved a regular customer. I am not very fond of this customer. He is the stereotypical old man. He is very entitled, he is a tight-wad (I once witnessed him chew a co-worker out because she accidentally short changed him a penny), he is inpolite, and to top it all off, he smells.

He walked up to me as I was clearing some tables and handed me a business card.

SC: I need you to call this number.

It was the business card for a local taxi firm. Their main office is located literally around the corner from the pub.

Me: Would you like me to call you a cab?
SC: No, I need you to call them. I got a taxi here this morning and I left a bag in the back. I need you to find out where my bag is.

OK, that annoyed me. I am trying to work. Do I really look like I've got time to run around after him? But...I know what this guy is like, so I decided to save an arguement and called the taxi company. Unfortunately, when I called them, I got an automated message:

Message: Hell this is *taxi company*. We are experiencing difficulties with our phone lines at the moment, so please leave your name and number and we will get back to you as soon as we can. We apologize for any problems this might cause. *BEEP*

I hung up. I couldn't be bothered with that.

Me: I couldn't get through. I got a message saying they were having problems with their phones.
SC: Well keep trying! I need that bag! You need to find my bag!

All of a sudden, he was treating me like it was my fault he had lost his bag.

Me: The taxi office is just around the corner. Why don't you pop in?
SC: No, you go down there and ask. I need that bag.
Me: I've got a pub to run! I can't be going off playing detective about something that didn't even happen here!
SC: You need to find my bag!
Me: You've been here for hours. How come it has taken you this long to notice you don't have it?
SC: I did notice...earlier. But I didn't need it then. I'm going home and I need it now.

I felt my brain begin to melt.

SC: Can you call them again?
Me: I'm sorry, I've got things to do.
SC: Well, call them later then.
Me: This is not my responsibility.
SC: Well I'll come in tomorrow and get someone else to find it!

I just walked away from him. He was making me angry. I pinned a note on the wall for the manager that is in tomorrow.

"If Stinky comes in asking you to ring *taxi company*, just tell him you called and they don't have his bag. It will save you a lot of grief. Believe me!"

[customersruinmylife]

Little bit of an update. He was at work today when I went in, but he didn't say a single word to me.

I asked the manager who was on in the morning if he had said anything. His response?

"Yeah! He's been bothering me all morning! I told him I called them and that they didn't have it just to humour him, but he didn't believe it! I lost it and told him to go and find out for himself. I mean, what am I? His mother??"

Ahhhh, I guess the title for my thread was spot on.

[customersruinmylife]

I may have a teaching job in my local school! I will be a teaching assistant whilst I wait for my university course to start in September 2010. I cannot wait!

Ten weeks, and I may be free of the pub! Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yes, it has put me in a good mood. I just thought I'd gloat

[customersruinmylife]

After these two incidents today, I walked up to my boss and asked to be demoted. I am not yet in a position where I can simply walk from the job, but at least I can take a pay cut and shed all the responsibility. It's probably best after my reaction to these two SC's.

Don't throw change at me!

Grumpy old regular customer walks up to the bar.

SC: I want a pint of Carling in a Carling glass.

He is in all the time, and every time he asks for a Carling glass, which we do not carry. He is informed of this each and every time, and he still asks "just in case" we decided to order some in. We don't stock branded glasses, simply because they are expensive, and they always get stolen by grumpy old men like him!

Me: I'm sorry, but we don't have any Carling glasses. Is it OK in a regular glass?
SC: *grunts*

How foolish of me. I assumed that the grunt he replied with was a "yes". I presented him with his drink.

SC: I wanted a FUCKING CARLING GLASS!

He threw a load of change at me and turned to walk away.

Me: THERE WAS NO NEED FOR THAT!

He turned around to face me.

Me: IT'S JUST A GLASS. GET A GRIP!
SC:

He walked away without saying anything. That was probably wise, because I was in the mood for a good arguement.

I don't hang around the ladies bathroom

Second incident. An irrate lady demanded to speak to the manager IMMEDIATELY. I went over.

Me: Hi there, can I help?
SC: I have just been in the ladies bathroom and had a look around. TWO CUBICLES don't have toilet paper!!!!1111!!!
Me: OK, I'm sorry about that, I will send a female member of staff to sort that immediately.
SC: THAT IS NOT THE POINT!!!!111!!!blargh!!!11!! WHAT IF A LADY WENT INTO THAT CUBICLE AND THERE WAS NO PAPER??!?! WHAT WOULD SHE DOOOOOOO??
Me: I'm sorry, but I was not aware there was no paper, but I will send...
SC: YOUUUUU'RRRREE THE MANAGER! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AWARE OF THEEESSSSE THINNNNGGGGSSSS!
Me: I am also a MALE manager. I cannot go into the ladies toilets every five minutes whilst we are open for business checking the stalls for toilet paper.
SC: AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE MANAGER??? HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHEN THE TOILET PAAAAAPEERR RUNSSSS OUT??

I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to talk to her, I didn't want to argue, I didn't want to be near her. I just let out a huge sigh, turned my back to her and walked away.

The SC stood there for a couple of minutes, looking very angry and confused.

SC: FINEEEEE! I GET THE HIINNNT! I'M LEEAVVVVING!!

[customersruinmylife]

This story got so epic that another pub got involved!

The cast of characters.

Me: Long suffering barman who is working his last days as a manager.
CW: Sweet co-worker who didn't deserve any of this
CC: Cool customer who said EVERYTHING that I wanted to say.
OPW: Worker from a pub at the end of the street.
SC: Who else???

It was very quiet, and co-worker was serving on the bar. I was wandering around, doing odd cleaning jobs and doing a little bit of reorganising. The SC came up to the bar first, CC was next in line. CW went so serve.

SC: Pint of lager.
CW: Sure thing.

She takes out a glass.

SC: That's dirty! That's dirty! Put it in a clean glass!

The glass was slightly water-marked, but not dirty. No matter. CW took out another glass.

SC: That's dirty too! That's dirty too! Get me a clean glass!

CW takes out a perfectly clean glass. She holds it up to the light to double check it is clean, and proceeds to pour the drink.

SC: IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A CLEAN GLASS IN THIS PLACE!

I walk over to CW to give her support. CC jumps in.

CC: Look pal! Don't yell at the girl! The glasses are clean! It's just water marks from where they have been in the washer!
SC: I KNOW DIRT WHEN I SEE DIRT! THIS STUPID BITCH IS BLIIIIINNNDDD! I DON'T WANT A DRINK IN A DIRTY GLASSSSSSS!

He said it in a tone that, to be quite honest, frightened me. He actually sounded as though he was going to jump over the bar and kill CW. I wanted him out.

Me: OK, HOW ABOUT THIS? HOW ABOUT YOU DON'T GET A DRINK AT ALL?

CC cheered.

SC: WHHHHHAAAATTT?
Me: That was just...disgusting! I'm sorry, but I do not want you in here! I want you to leave.
SC: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO REFUSE SERVICE!!
Me: I bloody well am.
CC: Look pal, why don't you just leave. You are completely embarassing yourself.
SC: I WANT A DRINK, IN A CLEAN GLASS, AND I WANT IT NOW!
CC: Well, you're not going to get one are you? You fucked that one up well and truely. If you feel so hard done by, why don't you...call the police or something. Ha! Ha!
SC: GOOD IDEA!!
Me/CW/CC:

He got his phone out, dialled 999, but didn't press send. He just held the phone to my face.

SC: SERVE ME, OR I'LL CALL THEM!
Me: Oh my God
SC: DON'T THINK I WON'T!
CC:
SC: DON'T LAUGH AT ME! I'LL DO IT!

At this point, I am bursting with laughter, I just can't contain it.

SC: I'LL DO IT!
CC: Do it then!
Me: Do it, see where it gets you.
SC: I'LL DO IT!
Me: Do it. I'd quite like to see you get arrested for tying up the emergency services.

SC stared at me for about a minute. He put his phone away, and started to mumble.

SC: Forget it. But just so you know, I am reporting you to the owner.
Me: Fantastic. I hope I get fired.
SC: Weirdo.

He walked out. CC stood and laughed with us for a while about the SC. About fifteen minutes later, the phone rings. It is OPW.

OPW: Did you guys turf a guy out about fifteen minutes ago for complaining about dirty glasses?
Me: No, we turfed a guy out because he was a twat.
OPW: Right, because he came down here!
Me: And....
OPW: He walked up to the bar, and DEMANDED his drink in a clean glass, and shouted "AND IF YOU REFUSE TO SERVE ME I WILL CALL THE POLICE, JUST LIKE I AM GOING TO WITH *my pub*!!"
Me: Oh God.
OPW: Well, get this. He was only talking to the OWNER!
Me: And what happened next?
OPW: The owner went apeshit! He said "HOW DARE YOU WALK INTO MY PUB AND SAY THAT! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! WE ARE HERE TO SERVE BUT WE ARE NOT YOUR SERVANTS! GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!"
Me: Oh boy, what did he do?
OPW: He looked really frightened and ran for it! It was hilarious!
Me: Haha!
OPW: Anyway, I thought I would give you that bit of gossip. Thanks for sending your crazies down here by the way!
Me: Anytime.

[customersruinmylife]

I've had a few days off. I get into work and there is a notice up on the wall, along with a print out of shot taken off our security cameras. Under the print out, it said "DO NOT SERVE THIS MAN. HIS NAME IS JOHN SMITH* AND HE IS BANNED FOR LIFE"

*His name is not actually John Smith. Obviously.

John Smith was a regular customer, but he was on his last warning about this behaviour. He always seems to be caught up in fights, but always claims he is the innocent one and that he was started on. He was also banned from several other pubs in town for his loutish behaviour. In short, he was an idiotic chav. I went to a manager and asked what he was banned for. Turns out, he got caught up in another fight the other night, and we had it all on camera that he was the one that started it. He threw a punch at a completely innocent man and then ran for it. As he ran, the manager told him to never return.

So, there I am, quite unhappily serving behind the bar. I look up, and who is right in front of me?

John Smith.

Me: I'm sorry John, but you have been banned for your behaviour. Can you please leave?
SC: WHAT? WHAT? WHAT HAVE I BEEN BANNED FOR?
Me: For punching that guy the other night.
SC: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT! YOU WEREN'T EVEN HERE!
Me: That doesn't matter. I have been intructed not to serve you.
SC: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BAN ME! YOU DIDN'T SEE WHAT HAPPENED!
Me: I am not serving you. If you want to take this further, you will have to speak to the manager who was working on Wednesday night.
SC: I WAS THE INNOCENT VICTIM!
Me: Not according to our security cameras.
SC: I DEMAND YOU SHOW ME THIS FOOTAGE!
Me: No. You are not going back there.
SC: THEN I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE EVIDENCE! I DEMAND YOU EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE BANNED ME!
Me: I have already explained this to you and I am not going to explain myself to you any further.
SC: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS IN PRIVATE WITHOUT ALL THESE PEOPLE AROUND!
Me: I will not do that. You are being aggressive and I would rather have witnesses.
SC: IF YOU DON'T SERVE ME I WILL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
Me: And now we have another reason to keep you banned. Can you please leave?
SC: YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! YOU WEREN'T THERE! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME BANNED!
Me: Like I said, you will have to take this up with a member of seniour management. But until then, you are banned.
SC: I'LL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
Me: OK then. You do that.
SC: COME FROM AROUND THAT BAR AND TALK TO ME LIKE A MAN!
Me: I'm quite happy where I am, thank you.
SC: YOU CHEEKY LITTLE SHIT, JUST YOU WAIT.
Me: That's fine. Are you going now?

He started walking towards the door.

SC: YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP ME BANNED! JUST YOU WAIT! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!
Me: You just threatened me in front of a dozen witnesses, and I have your name, John Smith. And the cameras also caught all of this. Are you really going to carry out your threat?
SC: YOU CHEEKY SHIT! YOU CHEEKY LITTLE SHIT!

He walked out the doors, cursing as he stormed out.

The next four or five customers in line congratulated me on the way I handled it. To be honest, I am so surprised about the way I handled it. At the moment I have a really short fuse when it comes to SC's, and I didn't lose it once! A cool customer walked up to me.

CC: How the hell did you handle that idiot? You have the best anger management I have ever seen! You did it all with a smile on your face! I would have killed him!

I don't think I've seen the last of him. Like I said, he was an arse-hole regular customer. I finished work today and the manager taking over from me said:

Manager: God, I bet I have to turf him out later tonight!

[customersruinmylife]

Mother of the year walks up to the bar. She is carrying a baby and is holding hands with a five year old boy.

SC: Can I get into the disabled toilet so I can use the baby change facilities?
Me: Sure, no problem.

I open the disabled bathroom for her. About ten seconds later, she storms out.

SC: I AM NOT FUCKING CHANGING MY FUCKING BABY IN THERE! IT FUCKING STINKS!

She stormed off and headed to the ladies.

What happened next was witnessed by an off duty co-worker who was luckily inside the ladies room at the time.

Mother of the year barges into the ladies. She places the baby down in the sink area, and starts to change it. She then turns to the little boy.

SC: Piss all over the floor sweetheart! Piss everywhere! Do your business all over the floor and make a mess. We'll teach them a lesson won't we? And then we'll make them clean it up.

Mother of the year gets her shitty baby wipes and starts smearing them down the walls! She then throws the shitty nappy across the bathroom. The little boy is walking up and down the bathroom, pissing everywhere. Off duty co-worker is stood, completely speechless.

SC: What the fuck you staring at?

Off duty co-worker stormed out of the bathroom and ran up to me.

CW: Customersruinmylife! You won't fucking believe what I just witnessed!!

I sent my only poor female worker in to check it out. She looked like she was gonna puke. I went up to mother of the year.

Me: You can get out, RIGHT.NOW.
SC: Why??? What have I done?
Me: You know EXACTLY what you have done. You were seen.
SC: Well, I wouldn't have had to have done it if the baby change didn't smell of piss! You made me act that way!
Me: You believe what you did was acceptable behaviour??
SC: Yes! Yes I do!
Me: Then I weep for the future of your children. Now get out!
SC: You haven't heard the last of this.

She collected her things and left.

I am so angry about this. Her poor kids, what are they going to turn out like?

[customersruinmylife]

Long awaited sequel to this thread: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=51450

I learned a lot more about what happened regarding the incident in which he got banned. The guy John Smith attacked was the BROTHER of a co-worker, who was quietly enjoying a drink with his GRANDMOTHER, and had literally just returned from serving in IRAQ!

John Smith was completely wasted and kept bothering the two of them. When co-workers brother told him to go away, John Smith started shoving him. Co-workers brother shouted:

CWB: I've just come back from Iraq! I've come across a lot bigger bullies than a scummy little chav like you!
JS: You think you're so special because you went to Iraq!

John Smith punched CWB in the face and ran for it. The manager on that evening yelled that he was banned, then the events of my previous thread happened.

I also learned that last week he got banned from a bar across the street for jumping off a balcony and landing on an innocent bystander.

So, Saturday came along. It is the day before my holidays start and I am in a good mood. Oh wait, who is that walking towards the bar? Oh course! John Smith again!

Me: *under my breath* Fuck...here we go...
JS: Hey! Hey you! Am I still banned?
Me: You certainly are. Now can you go?
JS: I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I AM BANNED!!!
Me: So punching innocent customers and threatening me isn't a good enough reason?
JS: I WAS HAVING A LAUGH! JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN BAN PEOPLE!

My boss appeared out of no where and jumped in.

Boss: ATTACKING MY CUSTOMERS AND STAFF IS NOT HAVING A LAUGH!!
JS: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! IT'S BETWEEN ME AND HIM! HE'S THE ONE THAT BANNED ME!
Boss: NO, I WAS THE ONE THAT BANNED YOU. HE WAS JUST THE MESSENGER! NOW GET OUT!
JS: WELL YOU COULD AT LEAST TELL ME HOW LONG I AM BANNED FOR!
Boss: How about the forseeable future??
JS: AND HOW LONG IS THAT?
Boss: Until one of us dies of old age. Now GET. OUT. And by the way, I am calling Pub Watch about you. Good luck getting served anywhere in this town.
JS: BITCH!

John Smith stormed out.

For those who do not know, Pub Watch is an organisation set up by councils in the UK, where the owners and managers of pubs meet once a month to discuss violent/drunken SC's and what action can be taken against them. Basically with one word, she can get him banned from every pub in the area!

I still think he'll be back though

[customersruinmylife]

I have been off work for the past week and a half, and my first shift back starts in just over an hour. I have been informed by a co-worker that ALL of my shifts this week are manager shifts.

I asked my boss weeks ago if I could step down. I just no longer have the will or the energy to be the manager. In a months time, I am either going to be leaving the pub completely, or cutting my hours down to one of two shifts a week. I just want to go to the pub, make drinks, smile, be polite and then go home.

I am actually dreading work tonight. I feel sick at the thought of being in charge. I just don't care. I seriously worry for the next customer that yells "I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!!" because, as bad as it sounds, I just do not care about them.

Ugh, please Boss, I understand that having an extra manager takes a load off your plate, but seriously, keeping me as a manager will probably do the business a lot of harm.