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Punishment: SC's neighbours play Barry Manilow at full volume 24/7.
Crime: SC, being a top-tier rewards member, shows up as a walk-in when every hotel in town is fully booked due to a major event, and demands that a "peon's" reservation be cancelled so they can get a room.
Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.
Punishment: There's one room that has no occupants, and when the employee won't give it to the SC, he turns to the manager. Naturally, the manager folds and offers several discounts. Why am I making it worse? I'm not finished yet. The reason the employee wouldn't let him have the room is because the room is that room, where Cassie was murdered and is now Cassie the unfriendly ghost. She only comes out when someone who doesn't work there intrudes upon "her" room. Time to scream.
Crime: Speaking of hotel rooms, another SC in another hotel in another . . . well, you get the idea, decides to ask permission to bring her service dog with her. This is allowed. So she brings her service dog. And her boyfriend. And his five pit bull puppies who aren't even paper-trained yet . . . and by the way, they love to smoke, but don't care to pay attention to their toddler.
I daresay, these people aren't the salt of the earth, they're the mold and mildew. I feel grimy just writing their existence. Somebody do something!
Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.
Punishment: CPS and Animal Control officers come to take away the child and the dogs. Even the "service" dog is taken away once staff realizes that SC doesn't have any disabilities and was lying. Turns out the only "service" that the dog provides was of the sexual variety, so SC and her boyfriend are thrown in jail on charges of animal cruelty and child neglect.
Crime: Holier-than-thou "Christian" SC threatens to burn all Muslims and Jews at the stake and stake all Catholics and non-believers because the restaurant where SC is eating doesn't serve pork and served SC's chicken too rare.
Alt-Crime: SC orders meat at a vegan restaurant. When told that this is a vegan restaurant, SC then forces his way into the kitchen, steals a kitchen knife and proceeds to carve up one of the chefs, since his craving for meat is just that strong.
Punishment: the cart hits a curb and pulls a 180 and runs down SC breaking their spine leaving them paralyzed from the neck down and a brain injury leaves them mute.
Crime: SC farts in elevator just as someone gets on.
Punishment: The skyclad SC discovers that dancing on banks is a bad idea in the middle of a lightning storm. When the bolt hits, the SC is as shocked as everyone else is.
Crime: Mrs. SC just loves her new hairdo at Because It's Worth It Salon. She raves to the staff about how beautiful her hair turned out. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? Of course, it's me writing this, so it's bound to turn bad. Here it comes. Mr. SC loves the new hairdo, too, but doesn't care for a hairdo that costs six figures (including cents). So he demands she go back and get a refund. She readily complies, expecting to be treated like royalty as the manager, she thinks, will bend over backwards to please her since her haircut was so horrible, she's ashamed to be seen in public, I tell you! So, to make a wrong story short, Mr. and Mrs. SC conspire to demand that all the money for the haircut be refunded, and to ensure it, are ready to flood social media and the local news with bad publicity if she doesn't get her money back, and more.
(In short, she loved her haircut until her husband saw the bill. He was mad about how much money she wasted, and so she returns to the salon claiming that she hates her new hairdo, that it's ruined her socially, and that refunding the money and providing free haircuts is the very least they can do.)
Punishment: After going to Mr. and Mrs. SC are banned from every salon in the world, forcing Mr. SC to style Mrs. SC's hair for the rest of his life.
Crime: Rich SC brings his exotic pet tigers and lions into the mall, reasoning that since the sign only shows a picture of a dog, that "no pets" really mean "no dogs", and the animals cause mischief and mayhem throughout the mall.
Punishment: The tigers and lions are rehomed at a safari park where they are much happier, and the SC is forced to walk all the dogs in the neighbourhood for free, for an entire year.
Crime: The SC constantly harrasses employees who are on break, demanding that they stop eating lunch and serve her NOW.
People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life. My DeviantArt.
Punishment: The male clerk uses the SC as a human shield against the Creepy, Ugly and Smelly Old Guy who'll have sex with anything that moves.
Crime: After a year of dog-walking, the rich SC, known to all as Rich Bastard, doesn't learn his lesson, and brings all of his pet pythons, cobras, anacondas and all other snakes to the mall. He then throws live mice from a bag onto the floor so that his precious pets wouldn't go hungry.
Punishment: Luckily, a snake-charmer is in the mall. He turns the snakes against Rich Bastard, and then lulls them to sleep so they can be taken away safely and brought to a proper place.
Crime: Jack is cunning. Jack is slick.
Jack overturned the candlestick.
With a candle in it, setting his whole house aflame.
Why? So short of cash Jack can win an arson insurance claim.
Alternate crime: Jack's waitress ex-wife pawned her heirloom jewels, including her wedding ring.
She bought medicine for their sickly child, whom she valued more than her bling.
Jack promised her he would get them all back, though she didn't believe his oath.
He proved himself by using a candlestick to shatter the pawn shop's window . . .
Punishments: Jack is convicted of arson and insurance fraud, and his ex-wife sues him for alimony and child support.
Crime: Rich Bastard recovers, but still doesn't learn his lesson. He brings a whole herd of elephants into the mall. The elephants charge the mall and tear down doors and walls, leaving panicked shoppers to run and hide.
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