How things are done at work: Official method vs Unofficial method

[Crosshair]

I got this idea on another forum and I just KNEW I had to share it with all of you. This is along the lines of "Not allowed to do at work". However it involves the way that things are "officialy" supposed to be done vs how they are actualy done. I will set the pace of the thread to get the creative juices going. I know you all will have more to add.

Cardboard displays need to be destroyed and put into bailer.
Official method: Pull and cut apart with boxcutters and load it into the bailer.
Unofficial method: Beat it with sledgehammer(Prefered method), crowbar, 2x4, etc, until it falls apart and can be loaded into the bailer.

Garbage compactor is jammed because someone put too much trash into it.
Official method: Call garbage contractor to come remove trash container and clean compactor box.
Unofficial method: Remove key, turn off breaker, have co-worker guard breaker and compactor door, climb into compactor, and jump on pile of trash.

Garbage compactor is locked and needs a manager to unlock it every time for workers to put trash in.
Official method: Call a manager every time you need to throw trash.
Unofficial method: "Accidentally" break lock or lock hasp, throw trash. Repeat as needed.

Box of TP is needed for bathrooms and it is on the top shelf of the supply cabinet. The supply cabinet is 15 feet high.
Official method: Get two people to put large ladder (That nobody can find.) in position. Climb ladder and hand TP to co-worker below.
Unofficial method: Get medium ladder, climb to top of medium ladder, poke boxes of TP with a broom until they fall down. Throw extra boxes back onto top shelf.

Paper towel dispenser in bathrooms is empty.
Official method: Get paper towels, locate keys to towel dispenser (Normaly takes 10 minutes), refill towel dispenser.
Unofficial method: Get paper towels, set on top of towel dispenser.

Ouside locks are frozen shut.
Official method: Call store authorized locksmith.
Unofficial method: Propane torch and some silicone spray.

You are finished working outside and need to get back in through the locked backdoor.
Official method: Ring bell until someone inside eventualy calls management to let you back in.
Unofficial method: Body slam door until the door alarm goes off so people inside will go and get a manager to let you in.

There are many others, but I will leave it at that for now. I am sure you all can think of more examples.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Situation: (from a couple years ago). Heavy exercise equipment such as exercise bikes and treadmills is located on second floor of the backroom.

• Official method: Use the forklift to get these items down for carryout. If a truck is being unloaded when a carryout is needed, have the unload crew stop unloading, remove the conveyor belt from the truck, bring the forklift over, bring down the merchandise, and then reposition the conveyor and resume unloading.
• Unofficial method: Take exercise bike or treadmill and slide it down the stairs.

Situation: You need to bring a box of merchandise down from upstairs/

• Official method: Carry it down the stairs or use forklift.
• Unofficial method: Toss or punt the box down the stairs. If anybody compalins, say it was an accident

Situation: You have empty cardboard boxes from merchandise you filled.

• Official method: Throw empty boxes in bailer.
• Unofficial Method: Leave empty boxes sitting by bailer for somebody else to dispose of (certain managers and day-shift people are really good at this).

Situation: An ice cream feezer in the backroom has become unplugged and the ice cream inside has spoiled.

• Official method: Immediately toss the spoiled ice cream in the compactor and fill out a credit sheet.
• Unofficial method: Plug the freezer back in so the ice cream can refreeze (WITHOUT putting up a sign warning others that the ice cream is bad and shouldn't be filled to the floor) and then throw it out.

[Casino Jockey]

the main offical thing we don't do is power down the slot machines. we are suposed to power down the slot machines for anything besides putting more coin into it, but as it is limited on what we can actully do, and we can't hurt ourself than we usully don't bother

[Lehk]

holy crap no

don't ever climb into a compactor even if it it powered down. if it has pneumatic parts it could still move, or some compacted garbage could be compressed such as to have significant potential energy just waiting to burst apart and slash the shiat out of your leg with chunks of dirty garbage. hello sepsis or toxic shock.

[powerboy]

Situation: You have empty cardboard boxes from merchandise you filled.

• Official method: Throw empty boxes in bailer.
• Unofficial Method: Leave empty boxes sitting by bailer for somebody else to dispose of (certain managers and day-shift people are really good at this).

I hated that. I would work overnights at office Max, and ofcourse there like 5 baskets with trash and cardboard in them. Then I would get in trouble if I done that.

[Cyanocobalamin]

Official: Closing manager counts down tills and an hourly associate verifies the amount withdrawn. Both initial the slip and pickup bag.

Unofficial: Manager gives HA his user number and password. HA counts down till himself. Only HA initials slip and pickup bag.

At least that's how it was before our non-dumbass closing manager left.

[ArenaBoy]

Official: O
Unofficial: UO

When putting away cones:
O: Stack them up then put them into the truck from behind
UO: Grab any random cone and throw over the truck from any direction

When dealing with narrow lots
O: Let the car in and let the other car go out the other way
UO: Don't let the car in, and let the car out in a way you know that won't cause traffic jams

Parking passes
O: When working lots that involve parking passes, each individual counts their collection of tickets
UO: Give all the tickets to the person who will be going up to the building first

The VIP chains
O: Politely tell the customer that he can't cut through, if customer yells continue politeness
UO: Same as official, but after the 2nd time feel free to be a sarcastic jerk.

Blocking corners with trucks
O: Park the truck so that it will not be hit by any cars even if nobody parks there.
UO: Do a powerslide with the truck and make sure that they slightly touch the barrels.

Crosshair, that garbage compacter schnenagian is dangerous.

[AFpheonix]

Official method: Open stock bottle, pour pills onto counting scale, press ok key when proper amount of pills is reached.

Unofficial method: slap label onto the outside of a sealed stock bottle if the amount of pills prescribed = #of pills in bottle.

If pills poured into tray is confirmed to be the correct # by a hand count, but weigh scale is counting incorrectly, put finger on scale until correct number is reached and press ok key
(I swear, this thing will want me to weigh blister packs. Blister packs, I tell you!)

[Becks]

Situation: You need to bring a box of merchandise down from upstairs/

• Official method: Carry it down the stairs or use forklift.
• Unofficial method: Toss or punt the box down the stairs. If anybody compalins, say it was an accident

I am a great believer in throwing boxes of needed containers over the railing, instead of making a billion trips up and down the stairs. Haven't gotten in trouble for it yet.

Situation: You have empty cardboard boxes from merchandise you filled.

• Official method: Throw empty boxes in bailer.
• Unofficial Method: Leave empty boxes sitting by bailer for somebody else to dispose of (certain managers and day-shift people are really good at this).

This is a common problem at my store, too. Too bad I'm technically allowed to use the baler. Maybe because in order to close the gate, I have to climb up the front of the machine...

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I am a great believer in throwing boxes of needed containers over the railing, instead of making a billion trips up and down the stairs. Haven't gotten in trouble for it yet.

It's not allowed at my store. Shrink issues if anything gets busted, plus one of the stairwells happens to have an emergency exit at the bottom, and if you toss your box the wrong way it hits the bar and sets off the alarm.

[mslisarose]

To make salads in a hurry:
Official: Take cart into walk-in, remove all items nec to makes salads (several trips required) to back room. Make salads using proper measuring tools, put all items away, clean up back table.
Unofficial:Load cart w/empty containers for # of salads nec, take into walk-in, put salads together.

To defrost frozen pre-cooked chicken (in bag):
Official: The day before, lay out on pans to be stacked in walk-in. If out of thawed chicken, put frozen chicken straight into the salads.
Unofficial: Microwave 30 secs, shake and repeat untill thawed enough to be edible, then add to salads.

To make sandwiches:
Official: One at a time, one order at a time.
Unofficial: Well, there isn't room to make more than 10 at once at the station...

To add mustard to a sandwich:
Official: Using mustard draw a W on top of burger or cheese.
Unofficial: Claim illiteracy if caught doing otherwise....

To add ice to cup:
Official: Use scoop to fill 1/2 way for soda's, full for iced tea.
Unofficial: Use cup as scoop to fill, as much as gets in cup for soda (usually about half, actually) and about 3/4 full for ice tea (people complain that there is too much ice if we actually fill the cup, then we have to get them a new cup of iced tea, which I think costs more than getting it right the first time.)

All unofficial methods taught to me by members of management, unofficially of course.

The one place there is no Official/Unofficial split? Handwashing and glove standards, all the times we are supposed to wash hands and put on new gloves, we do. Keep all surfaces sanitized, yep that too. Five steps to dishwashing, no corners there either.

I don't know about the cardboard though, never had to do a trash run. :P

[Kiwi]

Offical Rule: Admissions/ Gallery Security is number one concern, store purchases are secondary
Actual Practise: If co-ordinator is in the store always take store customers first, unless the administrative manager is in, then she outranks co-ordinator, so revert to offical rule

Offical Rule: Two people in the Admissions/Store area at all times
Acutal Practise: If co-ordinator is out, last one out the back looses and must do chores by herself (were all female)

Offical Rule: Keep merchandised stock neat and tidy, fill holes with new stock
Actual Practise: Read mind of tempremental co-ordinator (who is supposed to do all merchandising) and if shes in a bad mood, get EXPLICIT instructions on exactly how to do your job down to the correct method of breathing around her.

Offical Rule: No heichrachy, circular management, no one is anyones boss
Actual Practise: No heichrachy unless the co-ordinator is on a power trip/feeling insecure about her delusions of power, make her feel important and all will be well.

Working with women is exhausting!

[Becks]

It's not allowed at my store. Shrink issues if anything gets busted, plus one of the stairwells happens to have an emergency exit at the bottom, and if you toss your box the wrong way it hits the bar and sets off the alarm.

We have a nice railing we can throw things over. We just try to make sure no one is walking nearby at the time.

[Boozy]

Situation: You want to make a purchase and get your staff discount

Official method: Wait until you are on a shift with your manager, manager bags purchase and rings you through, manager initials receipt
Unofficial method: Buy whatever you want using your managers register number, forge manager's initials, mention to manager you bought something next time you see them, manager shrugs

Situation: You've taken on extra shifts or responsibilities and the manager wants to recognize your efforts

Official method: Manager writes letter to HR, HR puts note in your file, absolutely nothing happens
Unofficial method: Manager notices very slight tear on label of really nice bottle of wine that happens to be your favourite, has to write it off as damaged, can't sell to customers like that, guess you'd better just bring it home

I'm going to miss my manager when I leave.

[AirHostess]

Official Rule: Only fill hot drinks half way up the cup-even with the pilots

Unofficial: Pilots are big boys and girls, fill the cup up to three quarters full!