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I laughed so hard...

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  • #1

    I laughed so hard...

    Hubs and I took Little Ara trick-or-treating at a local event last night. Businesses will line up along a street, police will block off either end of the road, and kids can go up and down both sides of the street to get candy.

    Now, for those of you who haven't read my "Oh, kiddo..." thread, my daughter cut her head open on Friday when she was running through my grandparents' house, stepped on a piece of paper that slid her feet out from under her, and her head collided with the side of a glass-topped table. It was superglued back together so we can't get it wet, which means there's still a decent amount of dried blood in that area, but we figured, hey, it's Halloween! She'll fit right in!

    Most people marveled at how realistic my makeup skills were (I wasn't about to correct them), a few realized that it was a real injury, then there was this lady.

    We're walking down the road minding our own business when she approaches us out of nowhere, Ninja Turtle in tow (maybe about 3, not old enough to know how embarassing Mom was being), and asked us what happened. We explained that her forehead had encountered a table, then this came out of her mouth:

    "Oh, that's not what happened! Mommy and Daddy hit you, didn't they?"

    Hubs and I were a bit surprised at this and tried to walk away, but she kept on our heels. We walked over to where there were some police officers nearby to see if maybe they'd get her to leave us alone, but she jumped in and started going on and on about how we were abusing our daughter, etc.

    Here's where it gets funny. Like, epically funny.

    What she didn't know is that my grandfather, the one whose house Little Ara cut her head open at, works for that particular police department. This means that not only did we know those officers personally, but that they knew what had happened to Little Ara.

    The officers explained all of this to her and told her to go home. She left sheepishly, and Little Ara got to spend a bit of time getting hugs and extra candy from her Police Uncles.

    I love a happy ending.
    The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

    You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Glad to hear there was a happy ending, and hope the kiddo has a speedy recovery!

    Unexpected serious injuries happened to my sister one year. She was going to go as a vampire for Halloween one year (this was pre-Twilight, pre-Buffy, so it would have been classic Bela Lugosi vampire), but then she broke her arm.

    So she put a fake cast on her leg, wore a hospital gown, used a cane, and went as an accident victim.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      Love this story. Why is abuse the first thing they jump to?? I had a sucktomer assume my carpal tunnel splints meant I was an abused wife. Yeah, I've never been married nor lived with a guy....
      Jay, your sister is cool.
      "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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      • #4
        Glad at least you can get a chuckle my wife had a woman go full potato on her at the market along the same lines. She's lucky I wasn't there. You accuse me of something like that you better have your shit together.
        AkaiKitsune
        Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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        • #5
          Mrs. Crossbow had this happen once at a grocery store. She tends to bruise easily and is somewhat clumsy. Not too bad, but if she bangs into something, she will get a bruise. Well, someone saw a bruise on her upper arm and insisted that I was beating her.

          Her response? "Well, yeah. He got a lucky shot in, but I still killed him. Took his head off, too!"

          Did I mention that we're both in the SCA? Not that she ever fought (or maybe she did suit up a couple of times in college. Too long ago to remember), but it was a perfect comeback to this busybody. I'm a little ways down the aisle, trying not to laugh out loud...
          "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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          • #6
            Quoth Food Lady View Post
            Love this story. Why is abuse the first thing they jump to??
            Because spouse, elder, and child abuse is in the news, like, ALL THE DAMNED TIME, plus its an underlying theme on too many cop shows, it's in billboard ads, magazine articles, and and so on and so on. As a result, people see it everywhere, even where it isn't.

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            • #7
              Wow, yeah I agree that it's good you chuckled because that's such a horrible thing to say! Awful. I can't tell you how many kids come through our store with bangs and scratches and not once have I even thought "abuse." Sadly, it does happen, however some random person has absolutely no business jumping to conclusions like that. And trying to manipulate the child into agreeing with them? Crazy.

              Some years ago I whacked myself in the mouth with a paint roller. Shut up, I was trying to get the disposable roller off the metal frame, just picture it, it's horrible. Normally I hit it on the edge of a trash can, but some paint must have dried and it wouldn't come off. So I was holding the roller part (complete with wet paint) and I lost my grip and hit myself really hard. The inside of my lip bled, but thankfully I didn't break a tooth, which has happened before. Anyway, I had a purple lip and chin. People gave me sad looks for at least a week! I just wanted to be like "sometimes people really ARE clumsy, this is not a tv show!"
              Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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              • #8
                Quoth Crossbow View Post
                Mrs. Crossbow had this happen once at a grocery store. She tends to bruise easily and is somewhat clumsy. Not too bad, but if she bangs into something, she will get a bruise. Well, someone saw a bruise on her upper arm and insisted that I was beating her.

                Her response? "Well, yeah. He got a lucky shot in, but I still killed him. Took his head off, too!"

                Did I mention that we're both in the SCA? Not that she ever fought (or maybe she did suit up a couple of times in college. Too long ago to remember), but it was a perfect comeback to this busybody. I'm a little ways down the aisle, trying not to laugh out loud...
                Those of us in the SCA can definitely relate, especially those of us females who like to put on armor and fight.

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                • #9
                  Yeah, I've had a couple of similar experiences. See, I have this birthmark . . .

                  It's huge, literally 13 inches by 8, and precisely the color of a bad bruise. Covers my left knee, and runs up the leg. (I've always been glad it didn't wind up on my cheek . . .)

                  Been asked how I burnt myself, had to defend each husband from do-gooders, had people poke at it . . . Some years back I just quit wearing shorts or short skirts; who needs the hassle?
                  Last edited by morgana; 11-04-2016, 11:05 PM. Reason: Sometimes I can't spell.

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                  • #10
                    ^I get irritated when people I don't know touch me.
                    "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                    • #11
                      I'm paler than pale, and if you so much as poke me, I bruise. I've always been like that. So I generally have one or two random bruises, and I have no memory of how or where I got them. And they seem to last forever!

                      If I do anything like move, or carry a lot of stuff back and forth, forget it. I'm black and blue all over. and probably resemble someone who's been beaten. A few months back I was watching my friend's dogs, and trying to do three things at once, including grab the screen door so the butthead dog wouldn't bolt out. Well, it came back, and the edge whacked me good in the upper thigh.

                      A few days after that, I was at the dr. for my knee, and shot, and he's like "WHAT did you do there?????' Because it was a long vertical bruise, about 5 inches in length and pretty shades of purple and green.

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                      • #12
                        "Lost a tug-of-war with a dog."

                        I find that people don't tend to question stories that make me the butt of a joke...
                        “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                        One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                        The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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                        • #13
                          Between the inner ear birth defect that has left me with balance issues and partially deaf, plus being very short-sighted, my spacial awareness is terrible. As such I am known as the office klutz. If it is possible to trip over it, knock it over, tread on it or walk into it I have done it. Repeatedly. Heck, I managed to walk into the office printer/copier/fax machine twice in 10 minutes and that sucker is nearly as tall as me!

                          I also bruise easily (sometimes I get a bruise on my knee if I'm reading a hardback), so you can imagine how much fun I have..! I have no idea how mum managed to avoid getting done for child abuse when I was little. Actually, I take it back. All of my teachers saw me ricochet off of a desk of doorframe at least once a month. There's a reason there are first aid kits in my car, the cupboard under the stairs, my bedside cupboard and a basic one in my backpack...
                          "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                          Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                          The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Nunavut Pants View Post
                            "Lost a tug-of-war with a dog."
                            I lost a tug-of-war to a boat winch. 7 stitches.
                            Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
                            Save the Ales!
                            Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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                            • #15
                              I lost a tug-of-war with Cyclops.

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