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Damn, dude, you *ahem* beat Sheldon to it... Congrats...?
"For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad") "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005) Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me
I remember reading a facebook story... this guy and his girlfriend went on holiday to a surfing mecca. His girlfriend tried it and sadly, did a complete faceplant into the beach. He said the looks he got when she was healing were... bad. And the comments were worse.
He also posted a picture of her, though, and she really did look like someone beat the crap out of her. :P Two black eyes and a split lip isn't pretty.
I once did a slip and face plant at work. My co-workers spent the next few days offering to buy me coffee's and lunch. I kept telling them it was fine, and not to worry about me, until I heard them talking to each other about me. "It's the worst when you walk into a store with a woman with a black eye and fat lip and everyone is glaring at you and wondering why you hit her. It looks like it'll be a couple days and we can let out of the truck in public again."
I was going to tell them to stop fussing about it, we could just announce generally that nobody beat me as we entered every store, but, free coffee.
Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.
I used to have a very large cat. Maine Coon, with those huge paws, 22 lbs. My headboard was wide enough for him to sleep on, but just barely. One night, he tried to roll over and fell off. Feet first onto my face. I ended up with scratches down my cheek, a swollen nose and 2 black eyes.
The whispers in the stores didn't bother me nearly as much as my coworkers did. They had all met my sweetie, they all seemed to like him and whenever I spoke of him it was with love or amusement about him being a typical man. It really insulted me that they would judge him that way.
There's been too many stories, unfortunately, of women whose "sweeties" are darlings in public and beat the shit out of the women in private (and parents who look perfectly respectable in public and abuse the hell out of their children at home) ... and then there are the blasts people get for minding their own damn business rather than leaping into a fray that might not even exist. So I'm not surprised at the stories here about women with bruises whose friends and even coworkers don't believe it really was an accident.
Glad to hear that your little one had a good Halloween and the cops got that idiot off your back! I posted a similar story after your first post about something that happened to my sis: ran into a door, had massive facial bruising, and had a coworker say "Your Mommy did that, didn't she?" Coworker was joking (she knew the story) but sis started repeating that to strangers who asked what had happened.
I will be going for some minor surgery in February, around my eyes. I can see from some of the posts here what to expect afterwards, when I'm out in public with two massive black eyes. It's gonna be fun, since I'm not living with anybody, not in a relationship ... can I blame it on one of my cats ("I was late with his dinner!!")?
Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss ~ Mr Hero
I was coming out of my bathroom one day. The door caught on the tip of my shoe and stopped...my face did not. Gave myself a black eye. Did get a "you don't have to take that comment". I told them you need to take it up with my bathroom door.
Another time, during Balloon Fiesta, I was sitting on the side of the truck bed, overbalanced, and fell backwards. The pilot was right there and grabbed my leg trying to stop me. The next day I had horrible bruises down the back of both legs...and a perfect set of finger marks. It was still warm enough for shorts and the looks I got from the tourists.
Balloonists get the damnedest injuries. Like when a burner flashed over my head and singed my right eyebrow, eyelashes, and up my nose. Took six months for everything to quit looking weird.
I had surgery to repair a nasty spiral fracture to my radius, right near my wrist. It wasn't so bad when I had the fixator bar and pins holding everything straight because it was obvious I'd done something serious. It was after all the metal was taken off that I started getting people trying to tell me that they're glad I didn't succeed in killing myself. Why? Because the surgery scar on the inside of my wrist apparently looked like I tried to cut my wrist open. There's a reason I got a tattoo to cover it...I had more than enough of stupid questions and comments to last me a lifetime.
When I worked at the roofing company a guy would sometimes come in looking like he'd gotten in a fight. When it's a guy you assume he was in a brawl, especially when he's a big muscled guy? Nope. His girlfriend would hit him, and not open-handed either. I know, not as common, but it does happen.
Replace anger management with stupidity management.
Pixilated's story just reminded me about the nonsense I got after I had my deviated septum repaired several years ago. Both eyes blacked, swollen nose, yadda yadda.
For the couple of weeks it lasted I took to telling people it was a merry-go-round injury . . .
It doesn't help that the movies help foster the cliche that any woman with a bruise on her face is the victim of abuse from her husband or boyfriend. In fact, some women in movies deliberately use this cliche to get some poor sap to "take care of" the nasty hubby/boyfriend (see most film noir movies).
A few years ago, my family was out at my uncles block of land having a picnic and my uncle has the large pile of white rocks near the road. I can't remember why, but for some reason my seventy year old grandmother decided it was a good idea to scramble over it. She face planted and broke her glasses, scratching up her face and getting two black eyes in the process. She really looked like someone had done a number on her. My poor grandfather, he is the sweetest most timid man you'll ever meet and the looks he got, I think they were both glad when she finally healed up, especially when their doctor (whom they'd known for twenty years mind you) pulled her aside and asked if my grandfather did it.
My response to that: "Oh shit, you can see me? ..."
"... I hate it when people do that. They always die."
I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
Daughter #3 had her feet go out from under her when racing into the bedroom AT HOME, and fell between #1's brass bed and the bunk bed #3 and #2 slept in. Side rail holding mattress on the brass bed is iron, and sharp and - hard as nails.
Bam! Sharp edged red line up between and above her eyebrows, and also peeled a wee bit of skin off the side of her nose. Sharp red line quickly morphed into green bruises around her eyes, thanks to transparent red headed skin, and child being 3 and no freckles yet.
1 week later, she did it again. Same bed, same spot on her forehead. Augmented green bruise eyes.
I got asked repeatedly, if this was an abused child (as she was lovingly and non-fearfully hanging all over me at the check out line) AND the damned bed was taken down and put away for several years. Christmas pictures that year were lovely. Beautiful red headed child with Shirley Temple curls, gorgeous white linen special dress, pea soup eyes.....
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