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First, Mongo, I hope oyur knee is okay. Second, if I had even attempted to try that, I'd have been met with the back of my mother's hand, and hard. To clarify, no, my parents were not abusive. In fact, they rarely if ever laid a hand on me. If I got mouthy though, mom wasn't afraid to backhand me at all. It was never enough to hurt me, just enough to get my attention and make me stop what I was doing. Screaming "fuck you" at my parents? I don't want to think about the punishment for that! Serious parenting fail there!!
"And though she be but little, she is FIERCE!"--Shakespeare
I'm about to out myself as a very bad person . . .
I had something similar happen to me, lo these many years ago. Small child pushing cart, smack into achilles tendon, did it again when reprimanded for it. I don't have any permanent injury, but DAMN it hurt.
I am not as patient as you, Mongo. I admit this.
I yanked the cart out of the child's hands, nearly dropping him to the floor. I then crouched down into his sneering little face and made that face and noise that a very angry cat makes. That hiss/yowl/snarl that says the claws are out and you're about to get lacerated.
I'm told it lasted about seven seconds and got louder as it went on. When his eyes were half the size of his face and filling with tears, I straightened up, looked at mommy and hissed at her, as well.
Not bad, sometimes a nonspoken response works quite well. gets the point across. And if the kid ever irritated a cat, he knew that what normally follows hurts. Making him hopefully think twice.
Mongo, I hope your knee gets better quickly. Knee injuries are No Fun.
Points to the parents for attempting to get the girl to apologize. Unfortunately, they lost them with their feeble attempts at reasoning when a more direct approach was necessary. Even if they had just taken the cart away for starters, and perhaps had one of the two parents escort her out of the store immediately when it was obvious she wasn't going to apologize at all. Had that been my kid, she would've gotten a pop on the mouth for swearing (not that she's really exposed to it at all), the cart immediately taken away, and her obstinate behind carried out to the car if she's not willing to walk. Priveledges at home would be revoked, too, and this is a 4-year-old we're talking about. Immediate punishment, with follow-up at home (and immediate explanation of it, to keep it fresh in her mind).
I'm really curious where she learned to swear like that, if the parents were very polite. I wonder if there are yelling fights at home, or perhaps friends/siblings who are a negative influence.
Panacea, if I'm reading it correctly, it was Mongo, not the mom, who dismissed the injury. The mom apologized, then attempted to get the hellion (for that was no child) to apologize, unsuccessfully.
Morgana, I've done similar, though without the cat noises. Apparently despite my aura of "hey, kids, talk to me, I'm friendly!" that I seem to have, I can give a pretty good death glare to kids. Recently, the two-year-old son of a friend was playing with my two-year-old daughter while we supervised and cooed over the boy's one-year-old brother. The older boy suddenly grabbed and yanked on my daughter's hair, giggling madly about it. His mom scolded him while I gave my daughter feel-better kisses, and we distracted them with separate toys. Not a moment later, the boy came over toward me, reaching for my hair. In a split second, my hand went up and caught his wrist, and I turned and gave him the Mommy Frown. He didn't cry, but his mischievous grin faded quickly as he realized I wasn't so easy to tease. I don't think he was expecting such a quick intervention with an adult, and he backed away as his mom decided that it was time to pack up and go.
For brats like that, I'm in favor of child-sized cushioned handcuffs and gags. Until then, duct tape!
(There's a reason I'll never be a parent.)
HFP, I have two kids with a third on the way, and I still have to remind myself that duct tape and bed restraints are generally frowned upon in parenting.
"Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT'S MORPHING TIME!"
- Gilgamesh, Final Fantasy V
If I had done that when I was a kid..I wouldn't be here posting right now. I'd have my ass handed to me. (back then we got spankings) being treated like that is uncalled for. Yet if you dicipline your kind nowadays its a touchy subject because of child protective services
I don't condone smacking the kid... but I certainly would be wrenching that cart away from her, literally picking her up like a sack of potatoes and carrying that monster straight out of the store... maybe getting some trash bags along the way to clear out her room of toys when reaching home.
I don't have kids of my own, but I'm not so ancient as I can't remember my own childhood. My Mom never spanked me, but THIS she DID do. I was being a brat, refusing to clean my room, not getting my homework done... and she warned me this would happen, and I brushed it off.
I came home, and all the sheets had been stripped from my bed (It was summer, this was not as onerous as it seems) and all my toys were gone. ALL OF THEM.
She only ever had to do this ONCE.
Not spanking your kids doesn't mean you're not able to discipline them. But there's definitely a skill there, and I don't think it's the natural, instinctive thing the romantic view of parenthood makes it out to be (I was Mom's third kid, so she knew what she was doing by then). I feel kinda sorry for the parents who don't have it and can't/won't find someone to teach them.
My mom cleaned my sister's and my room ONCE. It became a mad dash to get things put where they belonged before she could get them in the trash bag, because she said she wouldn't take anything that was put away properly. I remember I saved my sister's favorite stuffed rabbit that she'd had since she was a baby by shoving it in the bottom of the toybox. Since her bed wasn't made, she couldn't put it on the bed and have it be put away properly. Once Mom was gone, she was crying until I dug it back out and showed her it was safe.
Two of my brothers saw that and NEVER let Mom do that to them.
The third brother is so lazy, he saw it as a way to not have to clean his room himself, who cares about the toys? So Mom would pull up a chair and make him bag up and throw out all his own stuff under her watchful eye. And this happened every couple years!
*snicker* Of course, as an adult, I admit I've occasionally wished Mom would stop by with that trash bag and take everything so I wouldn't have to do it myself...Mom laughed at me and suggested a flamethrower.
It's little things that make the difference between 'enjoyable', 'tolerable', and 'gimme a spoon, I'm digging an escape tunnel'.
I yanked the cart out of the child's hands, nearly dropping him to the floor. I then crouched down into his sneering little face and made that face and noise that a very angry cat makes. That hiss/yowl/snarl that says the claws are out and you're about to get lacerated.
I'm told it lasted about seven seconds and got louder as it went on. When his eyes were half the size of his face and filling with tears, I straightened up, looked at mommy and hissed at her, as well.
I think that's a perfect response.
No harm done, message delivered absolutely clearly.
Seshat's self-help guide:
1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.
"All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.
Sometimes when a child has a disorder/disability that makes them unreasonable/violent the parents may not know exactly how to react or resolve the situation
Indeed that can always be a possibility. However, as you suggested for the "bratty" outbreaks... taking the weapon / cart away is still a good idea, even for a disorder-fueled attack.
Indeed that can always be a possibility. However, as you suggested for the "bratty" outbreaks... taking the weapon / cart away is still a good idea, even for a disorder-fueled attack.
This is the first thing the parents should have learned if they are dealing with a child that has a disability. I have to wonder about the language though, since I have dealt with children with disabilities and have never heard one use foul language.
Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!
If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix
I'm not so sure I'd have been as polite as you. Granted, after the second ramming-- especially once I was sure it was deliberate, I'd probably have grabbed the cart and swung or otherwise moved it out of a direct path at me. Little monsters like the child described in the OP don't really register on my "be nice, a kid is present" radar.
This is exactly me. It would be such a quick reaction that the kid would be bug-eyed.
"Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably
Let me just say that the "bag up all the bratty kid's toys and take them away" threat is probably the best one I've heard.
Especially making the brat bag up HIS OWN TOYS. That's just evil. I love it.
I lived in fear of my mother and her creativity until I was in high school. Mom worked and Dad stayed home, so the most terrifying phrase I could ever hear was "When your mother gets home...we will DISCUSS this!" Never failed to make me go and beg to do ANYTHING to keep Mom from entering the equation.
Of course...as soon as Dad figured THAT out, it was all over. I spent my late teens and early 20s absolutely terrified, and I mean literally too petrified to move, when faced with the prospect of someone being -disappointed- in me. It took catastrophic failure--flunking out of college--to even START to get past that. (I've since gone back, into the arts rather than the sciences. Take THAT, stupid high school guidance counselor who told me to stay far far away from the arts!)
It's little things that make the difference between 'enjoyable', 'tolerable', and 'gimme a spoon, I'm digging an escape tunnel'.
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