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SC makes me have to buy a new knee brace

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  • #31
    maybe getting some trash bags along the way to clear out her room of toys when reaching home.
    have you been reading John Rosemond? That sounds like a page right out of his "Kick them out of the Garden of Eden" method, designed to curb extremely disruptive behavior in children. It's pretty much the same - extreme grounding with no rights to anything fun or privileges... just clothing, food, shelter, and homework. For a month. From the day of the last disruptive behavior. Even if he/she is on day 26 already.
    Last edited by PepperElf; 06-02-2011, 09:52 PM.

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    • #32
      Quoth Misanthropical View Post
      This is the first thing the parents should have learned if they are dealing with a child that has a disability. I have to wonder about the language though, since I have dealt with children with disabilities and have never heard one use foul language.
      My nephew has tried it (he is ADHD). Parents (and I) slam on that quick, and he straightens up.

      Tourette's is a reason to use profanity; the sufferer literally can't help it.

      Everyone else can exercise a little self control.

      But I agree: the child should be tested for either a disability or a mental disorder.
      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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      • #33
        if you punish her later she won't understand why she is being punished in the first place.
        With that performance? Oh, yes she would. That kid is out of control, she obviously controls the entire family. Mom and Dad need professional help at this point.

        ETA: I know there are some kids with genuine disabilities out there. Whatever the reason, why on earth would they not immediately get that cart out of that kid's hands? What if the next person she ran into was an even younger child?
        Last edited by MoonCat; 06-03-2011, 02:44 AM.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #34
          Quoth PepperElf View Post
          have you been reading John Rosemond? That sounds like a page right out of his "Kick them out of the Garden of Eden" method, designed to curb extremely disruptive behavior in children. It's pretty much the same - extreme grounding with no rights to anything fun or privileges... just clothing, food, shelter, and homework. For a month. From the day of the last disruptive behavior. Even if he/she is on day 26 already.
          Nope, just remember that was something my mom did when I was younger (if I remember correctly it was either because I hadn't cleaned my room and she was getting fed up, or homework) one way or another it stuck with me. More so because she did it at night when I was fighting falling asleep so it put me into an even bigger panic because I didn't know if I was going to wake up to an empty room. But it stands out as a pretty darn good message of 'whatever you did, now you get to work at earning everything back'

          But she was always good at things like that, especially the talking in a tone where she wouldn't have to do anything to inflict punishment, you'd do it to yourself. Now I pretty much apologize for everything, even if it wasn't my fault, have random panic attacks at the thought of doing something that she might not be proud of, and I gouge my fingers when I'm nervous.

          She's been spending the last few years trying to fix the damage (it wasn't all her that messed me up, but she had no idea of the other factors occurring at that time and just thought I was being rebellious)
          Okay everyone, lets all point and laugh at him right about....

          Now.

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          • #35
            I think kids would understand too, after a certain age. Especially if the parents specifically say, "This is because of what happened in the store today."

            and of course "today"... if say the parents wait a week to punish then it would be a bit ineffective.


            Though there is a middle-ground approach for "now" vs "later". I was reading a mother's blog about what she was going to try with her 4 year old. (another rosemond approach actually) The daughter had 7 tickets when they go out shopping. each time she misbehaves one is taken away (the "now" punishment). If she has any tickets left at the end she gets a treat... but if she has none, then it's no treat, and punishment (the "later" aspect).


            Actually... maybe that's an idea for the child in this story. Not the tickets - cos that might not be the right approach for him... but talking to a child psychologist. He or she can possibly help the parents tailor a system that is right for that child, and perhaps learn about how they themselves and their reactions can help - or hinder - achieving better behavior.

            Nope, just remember that was something my mom did when I was younger
            Heh. Mom didn't exactly do that to me... I just remember the last time I had a night time "accident". I was standing in the hall, cold.. and said, "I'm cold!"
            Mom: So am I! *no comfort there*
            She said that probably was one of the reasons it was the last time too... it was cold! lol

            And you'll notice I mention Rosemond a lot. That's because, although I've never had kids... My mother has - and he's one of the few parenting advice authors she agrees with.
            Last edited by PepperElf; 06-03-2011, 01:37 PM.

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            • #36
              Quoth Food Lady View Post
              This is exactly me. It would be such a quick reaction that the kid would be bug-eyed.
              Forget about yanking the cart out of the kid's hands, the second time she came at me I wouldn't have even thought about it and instinctively SHOVED it back at her. You present a threat to me? I remove that threat in the most efficient way possible and if you get hurt? Your own fault.

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              • #37
                My daughter is three going on four.

                If I slack and start letting her get away with something, her behavior gets worse. She's a sneaky thing. She figured out that her dad and I were suckers for the teary-eyed "I need a hug" and started doing it to get out of being punished for doing something wrong or not listening. Took about two weeks of her getting worse behavior-wise for us to sit down, realize what we were slacking on, and determine that the teary-eyed "I need a hug" was still going to be met with a time out if she wasn't following directions.

                About two days of us sticking to our guns, and she was better again.

                Do it consistently and it works. I have people tell me I'm lucky to have such a well behaved kid. I tell them three year olds aren't well-behaved by nature. You train them to know what won't be tolerated. We started time out before she was two and discovered it worked. A two-minute time out with a stern voice and she's upset as anything and I get a kid who listens to me without my having to lay a hand on her.

                I will never blame a parent for having a kid throw a temper tantrum. Kids will attempt to press boundaries, and parents aren't perfect. But if that parent isn't on top of it immediately then I have no sympathy. You make it more miserable for yourself and the kid by not having consistent, enforced, rules.

                And while I can and do explain to my three year old why she got into trouble, the punishment comes first and the explanation after.

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                • #38
                  Quoth MoonCat View Post
                  ETA: I know there are some kids with genuine disabilities out there. Whatever the reason, why on earth would they not immediately get that cart out of that kid's hands? What if the next person she ran into was an even younger child?
                  That was exactly what I was thinking. A much smaller child (say a toddler stretching its legs after getting out of the pushchair for a bit) could be very SERIOUSLY hurt if rammed by a trolley that was enough to cause pain in an adult (of course, the OP says they have a problem with the knee, but still).

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