Habits of Highly Defective College Students

[Argabarga]

The sadder thing is she's obviously lived a childhood completely devoid of a game of "Mad Libs"

[Mystic]

Argabarga, do you tow for the university or just for independent contracts?

[FormerCallingCardRep]

Little Bits is totally bored in her Computer Hardware for Music Majors class.

As a little bit of background, Little Bits has been involved in all aspects of theatre since the age of 5. At the tender age of 9 she ran the light board and sound board at our local community theatre for two different productions.

Her homework this past weekend, put together simple lighting for four scenes of a play of her choice.

After this weeks presentations they are learning.......how to run a sound board

[HistoryMan]

I swear on my Cincinnati Reds hat, I once had some ask me: "When did the War of 1812 start?"

[Geek King]

I swear on my Cincinnati Reds hat, I once had some ask me: "When did the War of 1812 start?"

Just after the 1812 Overture!

[suburbandecay]

I can sympathize. In one program I took (decided to switch to a different one at another college), I wasn't able to get out of "introduction to computing" (basic stuff with Windows, Excel, Word, and PowerPoint). Not online - it was an automated course loaded onto computers in the college library. The fact that before I went back to school, I had been a programmer, and I HAD WRITTEN SOME OF THE PRODUCTION CODE ON THE MACHINES RUNNING THE AUTOMATED COURSE, wasn't enough to get out of it.

I had to take the same class when I was in college. While I was nowhere near as accomplished as you at that point, it was still useless to me. Being that I was working thirds at the time, I just slept through his class. It used to annoy him when I answered all his questions when I bothered to remain awake.

Otherwise I tried not to draw his attention. We used to refer to him as the human snow globe. And he had some of the worst halitosis I have ever had to experience.

[Antisocial_Worker]

More habits!

4 -- Hold personal conversations at earsplitting volume in public places. I've seen this twice just over the past week.

Conversation 1: A girl was shrieking into her phone as she stood atop the pedestrian bridge that leaps the busy street, watching cars pass beneath her. People on the sidewalks below were staring at her. It sent something like this: "NAW! NAW! YOU TELL SHANIQUA SHE AIN'T BE MESSIN' WIT' MY BABY DADDY. YOU TELL THAT BITCH! YOU TELL THAT BITCH! PUT THAT BITCH ON THE PHONE AND IMA' TELL HER. YOU PUT THAT BITCH ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!!"

Conversation 2: Another conversation was held in the vestibule between the glass doors leading outside and the doors leading inside, and from where a group of students were sitting in the lobby, we could hear: "YEAH, WE'RE PAINTING HER HOUSE. SHE COULD GET IT DONE FASTER BY HIRING SOMEONE, BUT WE DON'T MIND. IT'S NICE TO GO OVER THERE. SHE WANTS EVERY ROOM A DIFFERENT COLOR. YEAH... IT'S NICE. I'M HAVING FUN WITH IT."

So, take your pick -- be exciting or be boring, but above all, be loud.

5 -- Disrespect the tobacco-free campus. This is an easy one. There are signs all over the college thanking people for respecting the tobacco-free campus. Naturally, these signs are like a flame to the moth. Every day you see congregated smokers puffing away around these signs, then flipping their butts into the road or into the landscaping. This latter characteristic ought to be especially fun when the weather gets hot and dry. Maybe if they try hard enough they can set the woods between the college and the museum on fire. That'll certainly add spice to a dull day.

[Sapphire Silk]

5 -- Disrespect the tobacco-free campus. This is an easy one. There are signs all over the college thanking people for respecting the tobacco-free campus. Naturally, these signs are like a flame to the moth.

They do this on my campus, too. The favorite spot is a stone "gazebo" (no relation, I'm sure) that used to be the front gate of the building that our college replaced in the 50's: the county TB sanitarium.

Here's another one for you:

#6: wait until after the exam review period ends to ask for an exam review . . . right when the professor is trying to leave for the day.

Had a student pull this one on me today. I teach from 12:25 to 4 on Tuesdays, and have office hours from 8am-11am. Did anyone come by asking for exam review? No! But they were lining up wanting me to stay after class to do them.

[EricKei]

It still saddens me, nearly a decade later, to hear that there was at least one person in the final semester of my CIS degree (trade school) who was on her SIXTH time through (didn't have to pay for one bit of it, either, for reasons that are best kept unwritten)...on the day before the Final, she came up to me and asked me to explain some of the basic concepts that were required to really understand the stuff we did in FIRST semester x.x

In half of the classes, the teacher would ask me to help out the other students >_> And yes, we did have to take the "DERP this is a keyboard and this is a mouse" class. Some people had trouble with same. In a CIS program oriented towards making one a qualified Systems Analyst (read: middle-manager type who works with proggers, database guys, designers, etc, and needs to know at least the core fundamentals of each so that he can get them all working together -- in effect, if a newbie-level person on any of the teams suddenly transferred, quit or got fired, you needed to be able to step in and keep up his work until a replacement could be found)

[wolfie]

There are signs all over the college thanking people for respecting the tobacco-free campus. Naturally, these signs are like a flame to the moth. Every day you see congregated smokers puffing away around these signs, then flipping their butts into the road or into the landscaping. This latter characteristic ought to be especially fun when the weather gets hot and dry. Maybe if they try hard enough they can set the woods between the college and the museum on fire. That'll certainly add spice to a dull day.

Maybe the signs need to be modified - to include an infrared sensor and aimable spray nozzle. Since the "butt tossing" is a litter problem and a fire hazard, maybe campus security should drop by and start issuing tickets (great for a lazy person with a quota - smoking in a no-smoking area AND littering in one go, and multiple "customers" at the same spot), or the campus fire department should deal with the people who are obviously on fire (after all, since it's a no-smoking campus, they're obviously not just smoking) and put them out.

Is the campus "no smoking", "no tobacco", or both? if just "no smoking", the chewers/snuff users should be OK. If it's just "no tobacco", maybe some of the smokers aren't breaking that rule.

[Antisocial_Worker]

6 -- Speed backwards through the parking lot. Yes, that one -- the parking lot where people are walking.

Fairly self-explanatory.

[Antisocial_Worker]

7 -- A habit in two parts:

Part 1: Give off an odor of unwashed clothing and body grease that could make young children cry. For bonus points, occasionally also give off a very quiet whispered *whoosh* which precedes a distinctly unpleasant, "intestinal" odor. Do this in math class, directly in front of me.

Part 2: Let out a loud, ripping, wet fart in the hallway and giggle like a fiend while waving your hand around in the general vicinity of your anus. Dance around laughing while you do this as your stupid female friends deliver frank assessments of your efforts, such as "That's nauseating!" and "Evile smells are coming out of your ass!"

[Sapphire Silk]

6 -- Speed backwards through the parking lot. Yes, that one -- the parking lot where people are walking.

Fairly self-explanatory.

Yeah, tell me about it. I almost got nailed by this one my first day on the job at the community college.

Campus police didn't give a damn, even though I had the make model and license plate number.

Parking on my campus is a bitch.

Part 2: Let out a loud, ripping, wet fart in the hallway and giggle like a fiend while waving your hand around in the general vicinity of your anus. Dance around laughing while you do this as your stupid female friends deliver frank assessments of your efforts, such as "That's nauseating!" and "Evile smells are coming out of your ass!"

Guess these guys have heard the conventional wisdom that any publicity is good publicity.

However, I think this behavior really puts that notion to the test.

[fireheart]

6 -- Speed backwards through the parking lot. Yes, that one -- the parking lot where people are walking.

Fairly self-explanatory.

O.o is all I have to say to THAT one.

And no, I haven't been dinged for that.

A few people I know like to take their chances with parking on campus. Basically, you need to have either a day permit, short-term permit (goes on your dash) or pay for one of the longer-term permits (which grant access to all carparks apart from the short-term ones and ones that are specially marked). You would think that people would actually pony up for said permits right?

Nope.

It does give me glee though to look out from the second-floor window of the library and watch the cops ticketing people who can't be assed to pay for a short term permit (which is something like $1.20 per hour for a maximum of 4 or 8 hours, I generally put in enough to cover me for my class/es plus 30 minutes to get back to my car) or who are parking in the spots they can't park in.

And it gets better. The parking issue has gotten so bad that the uni actually had to make a list of what excuses you CANNOT use to get out of a fine.

Here it is.

For those who are wondering about the one 2/3 of the way through that states "I paid for my permit", it's referring to one of two things:

1) they had the permit and didn't display it for whatever reason.

2) they used the wrong permit for that park. The campus has five different parking "bays": regular, disability, carpooling, VIP and hall. The hall one is for people who live on-campus, the VIP one is for people who are visiting on important business (and is only valid for a day or two) and the carpooling parks are red. For the last one, you actually need to have 2 permits in the car (so no claiming an unborn baby or cadaver)

[fireheart]

Another one that is worth it's own post.

Students who are talking WHILE the tutor or other students are talking!