Gather Round For the Collected Tales of a Pizza Guy

[Racket_Man]

Cookies? Are you the Dark Side? Because I can't associate with the dark side!

THanks for the welcome!

BUT we have BACON COOKIES wrapped in bacon!!!!!!!

I don't think our'd competing stores would do that (thankfully), though I'm pretty sure the same kind of paperwork is in place. My bigger concern is the people we'd delivered too once (because we didn't realize it was out that far in time) and then they throw a tantrum every time they call back and we say we can't....

Unfortuneately the other store seems to be populated with idiots who seem to NOT be able to put an address in THEIR POS system to even check to see if THEIR store delivers to a location in THEIR area. We somtimes get calls from people who are waaaayyyy out in the boonies clearly in other stores area but other store's employees just tell the customer to call us

•People who pay with 100 Dollar Bills, either on Delivery or Early in the Morning. I, personally, believe our company should stop taking 100 Dollar Bills, and that city law should make it a crime to pay with 100 Dollar Bills. At two of the three stores I worked at, a 100 Dollar Bill at the wrong time could wipe out all the change we had for a day. Argh. I have unrestrained loathing for all people who carry exclusively 100 Dollar Bills on them. They are Bad People.
BEST EXAMPLE: A guy who ordered for Delivery (30 bucks IIRC) and then handed me a 100 Dollar Bill when I got there. DIdn't tell ANYBODY. And it was my first Delivery of the day, which meant NO POSSIBLE WAY TO MAKE CHANGE EXCEPT TO DRIVE BACK TO THE STORE. ARGH.

At least my company DOES enforce the $20 rule and even if it did not I will NEVER
let a customer know that I have that money on me (such as delivering the last order on a double or triple). People get REALLY upset at midnight or 1am when a delivery driver (for some unknown reason) can not break a $50 or $100 bill AND CLAIM they told the order taker (BS since I TOOK the order jerkoff).

My standard line is "Sorry I do not/am not allowed to carry that much change NOR I am not allowed to go get change (at say a gas station or the store just wastes my time). If you wish you may go get changer YOURSELF and call us back when you are ready to receive your delivery."
triple

•People who tip by giving us giant bags of Quarters. You think you're funny but you're not.
BEST EXAMPLE: Someone who paid for a 20 Dollar order entirely in quarters.

Be glad you only got quarters. I have had people just and me a bag of mixed coins and totally expect me to accept that without a 2d thought. Yeah I get them a little pissed off when I dump out all of that change and count it out right at the door. Experience has taught me that it is NEVER the correct amount (as in they are always short and yes I will ask for the remaining balance. MOst of the time these people anger me cause they rarely tip.

We have in the past had people (attempt to) pay with a supersized McDonalds cup full of nothing but pennies

•Youth Sports Parties. For reasons beyond me, this only really applies to Pizza Castle West. While Castle Hawk and Castle Dove have had these occaionally, it has yet to get back. But at Castle West, sports parties are met with dread and fear, with good reason. They are NIGHTMARES. The first time I worked at Castle West, there was one team in particular we dreaded... THe running trend was that the parents would all come in and buy a ton of beer, and then ignore the kids for the whole night. It was awful. THe parents of these Sports Parties clearly are only doing it to drink beer, and don't actually care about said Sports Parties.
.

My best example would be working at a Red Roof Pizza place literally right next to a softball/baseball complex. This particular complex catered to BOTH youth AND adult teams.

One slow Sunday afternoon we had group of male softball players come in. They were the onloy people in the place for 2 hours. When they left the path of destruction would have made a tornado green with envy. There were no cheese, crushed pepper, salt or peppers shakers left untouched (as in piles of said "sprinkles" all over the place, the carpets and tables were coated or "dusted with said sprinkles) , there was food everywhere(eaten and uneaten and with the next item produced a soggy mussy mess), and drinks were spilled all over the 8 tables they occupied plus the carpet.

And to boot they straight stiffed the server. IT took us about 2 hours to clean up the destruction.

[smileyeagle1021]

What, she thought the computer would say "PERSON IN WITNESS PROTECTION" when you typed in the phone number? Really?

We actually have something like that at the hotel... except it is even more secure, it won't even acknowledge, to employees even, that the person is at the hotel or ever has been (makes billing disputes fun... we can still look up information on them if they give us a confirmation number, but that's it)... oh, and you have to specifically request this privacy service either at time of reservation or check in, we can't read minds and know that you want that.

[fireheart]

See how many monitors and keyboards your story messes up.

I do believe the current record is 7.

Courtesy of a now ex-member who had a lovely experience with a mullet-wearing guy that got introduced to Mr. Car Hood by the local constabulary
You'll see what I mean.

[pzychobitch]

I find it a bit bemusing that people only consider "white collar" jobs "real jobs"

What would happen if all the pizza company workers were in "real jobs"? They would probably bitch because there was nobody to make their pizzas -.-

Lol any job where you get paid to work is a real job. Real work, real pay = real job.

[EricKei]

pzy - In my experience, what I've been paid at ANY foodservice establishment does not quite qualify as "real pay". I have found, however, that the lowest-paying jobs often come with high expectations in terms of physicality. Still "real jobs", tho. If you're expected to meet a schedule, it's a real job.

[Aethian]

•Youth Sports Parties. For reasons beyond me, this only really applies to Pizza Castle West. While Castle Hawk and Castle Dove have had these occasionally, it has yet to get back. But at Castle West, sports parties are met with dread and fear, with good reason. They are NIGHTMARES. The first time I worked at Castle West, there was one team in particular we dreaded... The running trend was that the parents would all come in and buy a ton of beer, and then ignore the kids for the whole night. It was awful. The parents of these Sports Parties clearly are only doing it to drink beer, and don't actually care about said Sports Parties. True story: One night the beer tap wasn't working. The party walked in, found, out, then left. A KIDS PIZZA SPORTS PARTY was cancelled because... the beer was broke. Astounding. (And that's not even the Best Example...) Every time we had one, the side rooms we have are left as a disaster zones. And it's usually only the Sports Parties that do this. Birthday Parties, Fantasy Football Leagues, Spur of the Moment Prom Night Parties (when that many high schoolers walked in, I just about had a heart attack - while they were there late, they were very nice, considerate and clean, God bless them!) no one else ever caused as much destruction as your typical Sports Parties...
BEST EXAMPLE: After one of the worst by that worst team, we were cleaning up the destruction left behind. I walked into the Mens Bathroom, stared, and then just started laughing as all Sanity departed. The kids had ripped the dividing partition between the urinals from the wall. My manager wanted to know what was so funny, saw what it was, and it took all her willpower to keep from slapping me. That was the first time I worked at Pizza Castle, and they never did replace the partition.

My best example would be working at a Red Roof Pizza place literally right next to a softball/baseball complex. This particular complex catered to BOTH youth AND adult teams.

One slow Sunday afternoon we had group of male softball players come in. They were the only people in the place for 2 hours. When they left the path of destruction would have made a tornado green with envy. There were no cheese, crushed pepper, salt or peppers shakers left untouched (as in piles of said "sprinkles" all over the place, the carpets and tables were coated or "dusted with said sprinkles) , there was food everywhere(eaten and uneaten and with the next item produced a soggy mussy mess), and drinks were spilled all over the 8 tables they occupied plus the carpet.

And to boot they straight stiffed the server. IT took us about 2 hours to clean up the destruction.

We had this problem in the town I grew up in. Three pizza places, one now gone after the owner died, all had this problem. Till the one night where the privately owned place had a grew in of loosing players from our BIG competitors. The place was trashed and they left after closing. He told his workers to get the kitchens cleaned and put back together and then to leave.

The next day he went to the school the group had come from and demanded to be compensated by either the players cleaning the restaurant OR the school could pay for the damages he was about to sue them for. The school wisely made the team go clean it up. The entire school district was then blacklisted from that pizza place.

Since it worked the other fast food places put out a similar order, if a team made a mess they were going to be sued for damages and blacklisted. Did it cost some in sales? Oh hell yes but they only had problems once afterwards. But it was a poorly chosen place.

Little Girl is situated right in front of the county precinct and so were safe from ever getting robbed. One night a very rowdy group of adults came in and started in on the wait staff and on making a huge mess. A call of discount went to the boys in blue and several of them showed up. Some bringing cars and others just walking about the fence to get there. The group had to clean up their mess, apologized to the wait staff, banned, and a call was made to their league.

[XCashier]

The place was trashed and they left after closing. He told his workers to get the kitchens cleaned and put back together and then to leave.

The next day he went to the school the group had come from and demanded to be compensated by either the players cleaning the restaurant OR the school could pay for the damages he was about to sue them for. The school wisely made the team go clean it up. The entire school district was then blacklisted from that pizza place.

Good! There is absolutely no reason for that team to have behaved the way they did. They needed to learn a good lesson, and it looks like they did. I hope future team coaches take this to heart and do a better job of controlling their teams when they dine out.

[Pizza Reverend]

We had this problem in the town I grew up in. Three pizza places, one now gone after the owner died, all had this problem. Till the one night where the privately owned place had a grew in of loosing players from our BIG competitors. The place was trashed and they left after closing. He told his workers to get the kitchens cleaned and put back together and then to leave.

What blessing allowed you to live in such a heaven?

The sports parties are rarely a blessing, though the nicer ones have been known to leave us leftover cake. We like those ones.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I HATE that "real job" crack. If the job pays you in real money, then it is a "real job." Just because someone doesn't wear a tie or work at a desk in an office doesn't mean that they don't work a "real job."

Welcome to the boards, Rev.

[mathnerd]

When I was a freshman in high school I was in the marching band (transferred to a boarding school for the rest of HS, so no marching band). It was tradition after football games to go to a local pizza joint. We would NEVER make the kind of messes that have been described here because we had the fear of the devil in us about what would happen if the band director ever found out.

[dalesys]

... what would happen if the band director ever found out.

"The kid with a tuba for an intestinal tract" perhaps?

[mathnerd]

"The kid with a tuba for an intestinal tract" perhaps?

That would probably have been mild. The band director was one scary dude! He looked better suited to a murderous biker gang than a public high school band director.

[Pizza Reverend]

Ever have one of those nights where you walk right in and DOOM greets you with a slap to the face? Last night was one of those nights.

I walk in to Castle Hawk and the shift manager I'm replacing says "The Credit Cards are not working."

The night went downhill from there.

I hadn't even been there 20 minutes when we had our Worst Customer Of The Day. I didn't deal with him, but it was enough to send my (already stressed) previousy supervisor home in tears. A gal calls us asking for our current special, and Cool Driver takes the call. She then demands (not asks, I note) an Employee Discount on top of that.

It's already 8 dollars off the normal price because it's our specials. I don't think our computers ca do that (but can't check because the system is currently being rebooted). She starts claiming she works for the President of the Round Table Corporation and in 16 Years of working for ROund Table Corporation she always get an Employee Discount and her husband will come pick it up and straighten it out.

(Later I find out that technically the computer would allow me a discount on this particular special because of the way the franchise owners set the price for the new Pizza, but I'm not supposed to).

So Husband comes in and gets his pizza, talking to the Supervisor I'm replacing, right in the middle of when our credit cards are going down. He's being, and know I use this term very sparingly, a Huge Asshole about it. EVentually my Supervisor (who just wants to get rid of him at this point), says...

SV: "Sir, you're being very rude over something I can't do. I'm very rarely allowed to give my own Employee's discounts."

SC: I"M RUDE? YOUR RUDE!"

SV: "Sir, you can have your Pizza for free."

SC: OH HELL NO! I don't want you to think I'm some cheapskate freeloader! I'm paying for this with my credit card right now, but the President will be hearing about this!

SV: Sir, I couldn't take your credit card if I wanted to, the credit cards are down. Please, just take your Pizzza-

SC: (Realizing how much of ann ass he's being and getting angrier because of it) Nnnn RAAAAGRGRGHGARBLE

He eventually left, and the SV went to the back to cry. I sent her home ASAP after that. FIrst off, it's true, we'd never be allowed to give any of our employees a discount off an already heavily discounted pizza. Secondly, your wife may or may not work for corporate, but I don't give a crap because one, we're not corporate anymore and two, you're a huge asshole.

And the rest of the night was just more troubles. One of my cooks was late, my closing cook was actually one of our drivers who really didn't want to be closing cook (Reminder to self: Tell scheduling manager to never DO THAT again), one of our TV's decided it didn't want to work, and because our dough roller apparently walked out, we had a new guy who made particularly flat dough (not really his fault, he's actually a good guy, the husband of one of our other supervisors, but first time on the dough rolling is never easy).

SO yeah. THat was fun. We started taking old school rubbings of Credit Cards until Great Computer Controlers finally found a way to jury rig our credit cards into working - slowly but working. Keeping track of those credit card rubbings was a nightmare, but I still managed to pull everything together for a decent close.

And right as I turned off the open sign, a guy in a truck drive up, stares at me, and gives me a 'What the Hell man!?" look before driving back off. Sorry! THe oven was already off, so we couldn't have made you a pizza anyway.

Speaking of which:
Another Thing I Hate:
THis is particularly bad at Castle Hawk, which has an immensely huge delivery area. Some of the most extreme can take an hour to Deliver to. And the Powers That Be insist that we take Delivery orders right up to 9:30, when we close. On a typical closing night, we can be out of there by 10:15 or so. But if we get a last minute Delivery... Yep, we're going to be sitting around for awhile. To all those who order Delivery right at 5 minutes before we close... I hate you.
BEST EXAMPLE: A guy orders at 9:25. Fine. Whatever. My guy drives out (it's in the boonies, of course), knocks on the door, rings the doorbell, tries to call the customer, waits, and repeats at step one for 15 minutes before I tell him to give up and come home. Five minutes late, the idiot calls and demands to know where his Pizza is. He gave us the wrong address and didn't pick up his phone on any of 5 calls we made to him. He didn't get his pizza. My driver did.

BONUS BEST EXAMPLE: A lady calls at 9:27, (within the inconsistent clocks margin of error at other Pizza Castles for closing) furious that one of the other Pizza Castle's has closed already, and demands that we deliver to her (way out of our territory). I have to refuse, and she goes off on us, saying "NO WONDER YOU'RE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! I'M CALLING CORPORATE ABOUT THIS!" We never did hear from her again.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Argh, getting flashbacks from the time I used to work at Pizza Place (not its real name). I thought then, and still do think, that pizza places get the worst customers ever. We used to get a constant stream of SCs which are the rudest I've ever encountered before or since.

For example, Heartless Bastard who was one of the people making an order the day our delivery driver got hit by a car and knocked off his motorbike. The driver was rushed to hospital and his dad came in and told us why he wasn't going to come back to work. My collegue went to the office to ring round our other drivers to see if one of them could come in, and I rang round the customers who'd ordered, to tell them that their pizza was going to be late and the reason why.

Six customers were understanding, saying they hoped the driver was alright and not to worry, they didn't mind having to wait given the circumstances. Heartless Bastard, however, ranted and raved about his order being late, saying he didn't care two shits about the driver's accident and that one of us should drive over to his house with the order. I tried to explain to Heartless Bastard that a) neither of us could drive and b) we were trying to get hold of a driver this moment but he wouldn't listen. In the end, I hung up on him.

[Javarod]

The Flashbacks! The Flashbacks! Aggggghhhhhhhhh!



Oh lord. I only did driving for about a year before I became a Supervisor (I was too young the first time I worked at Pizza Castle) and it was almost exclusively Daytime Driving, but the few night shifts I ended up having I dreaded. My Night Vision isn't great already, and those older houses without lighted numbers were an absolute nightmare to deliver to. I don't know how all my evening Drivers do it.

Back when i did it, my solution was a 500, 000 candlepower spotlight. I promise you i never had trouble finding house numbers... Nor waking up their neighbors while looking for it.

Speaking of Driving...

More Things I Hate

•People who tip by giving us giant bags of Quarters. You think you're funny but you're not.
BEST EXAMPLE: Someone who paid for a 20 Dollar order entirely in quarters.

This never bothered me that much, i'd estimate if it felt right, and figured it'd all average out in the end. Oh, and i usually just tossed it somewhere in the car until the end of the day, then make the manager deal with it.