That's not an emergency...

[Latekin]

Sir, because of your insisting you had an emergency you needed to deal with, we we opened our store three quarters of an hour earlier than we should have. Because of this emergency, staff who should have been getting paperwork done, or getting some damn caffeine through their system, or just trying to chill out before their shifts started, were on the floor, all trying to help you.

So when you brought three bathmats and a tomato plant to my register, NO I DID NOT GODDAMN WELL FIND THAT FUNNY YOU GODDAMN CROTCH WAFFLE.

An emergency is when there's a giant freaking hole in your roof and you need a tarp to keep the inside of your house from escaping into yonder wilderness! Or your fence blew down and you needed to keep Rover from taking off down the street like a deranged, furry scooter! I'll even accept that you need batteries for your frakkin' fire alarm because it's beeping constantly and waking your baby!

But "my mother in law will be here later, and she hates wet bathmats, and my favorite tomato plant got sick of me and uprooted itself", DO NOT COUNT!

*endless internal screaming*

[sirwired]

Sounds like the tomato plant "that uprooted itself" made the right choice.

A moment of silence, if you please, for the poor defenseless plant that has been forced to take its place.

[South Texan]

Seriously? He thought what he ended up buying was "funny" and should have been a source of laughter for you?

Now he probably will complain to corporate about how you were not as friendly and receptive to his "humor" as he had anticipated.

[EricKei]

If only you could have forced him to pay everyone's salaries/wages for that 45 minutes, in addition to the prices on the items he bought...>_> It would only be fair. Well, plus a 50% premium/convenience fee, of course.

[emax4]

Yes, I would have charged him 3x as much for the items since he happened to find it funny, and the items themselves were clearly for a non-emergency. THEN I would have gotten the last laugh.

[AmethystSquirrel]

Idiot, Then again dealing with an in law could be an emergency in coocoo land.

[raudf]

That would depend on the in law. Mine would have caused an emergency, but more the emergency room type than the "ZOMG, I NEED TO BUY BATHMATS RIGHT NOWWWW!!!"

I will gladly come over and give a boot to the head to the idiot that bent over and opened the store early for this jackass' "emergency."

[wagegoth]

Gods, I wish all my emergencies were that mild.

[crazylegs]

Gods, I wish all my emergencies were that mild.

Yep

"Control to Crazylegs, Red 1 call for you, uprooted tomato plant"
"Roger Control, en route under emergency conditions"

[Pimento]

How did he even get in 45 mins early?

Usually emergencies have an up front fee associated with rushing a store to open .etc

[Latekin]

Usually emergencies have an up front fee associated with rushing a store to open .etc

Our store chain likes to be seen as the beacon of shiny helpful humanity, so they will open early or close late if there's a customer with a personal emergency.
This is a policy not normally abused to quite this degree.

That would depend on the in law. Mine would have caused an emergency

My mother is the mother in law from hell to my partner, but when she comes over, we've usually had everything we can sorted out waaaaaaay before she even thought about visiting. It saves time, stress, and means I don't have to contemplate matricide before my day's over.

[eltf177]

Our store chain likes to be seen as the beacon of shiny helpful humanity, so they will open early or close late if there's a customer with a personal emergency.
This is a policy not normally abused to quite this degree.

After this level of abuse I would hope the policy gets reviewed and (hopefully) abandoned!

[Antares]

Please state the nature of the emergency...I'm sorry Dave, that does not qualify. We will see you when we open.

[Cat Herder]

Ban him, and post his picture on the store's Wall of Shame (create one if necessary).

[Seshat]

After this level of abuse I would hope the policy gets reviewed and (hopefully) abandoned!

I think I know which chain Latekin works for (no, I won't say); and I am grateful for their policy. Especially in storm season.

This IS Australia, after all. It's not just the animals and plants that want to kill you, the weather does too.