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I always felt like "special" customers were getting routed directly to me. Last night after work, my team went out to dinner and I was sharing some of my daily stories with them. My Lead rep announced that never in all his 10 years with the company had he ever seen anyone consistently get the kinds of calls I do. Lucky me, huh?
SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME = Not you
Nice attitude
ME: If I could just have your mobile phone number please?
SW: XXX-XXX-XXXX
ME: Hmm, I don't have an account with that number. If this for a prepaid phone?
SW: No, that's my home phone number.
ME: Could I have your MOBILE number please?
SW: Cause that's what what you said. Do you want my mobile number?
ME *twitch*: Yes, that would be lovely.
SW: XXX-XXX-XXXX
ME: And how can I help you today?
SW: What? Speak up, for crying out loud! You're mumbling and your words are running together!
If your hearing is that bad, why do you possess a phone?
Thank you, drive through
SW: Can you tell me when my contract is up?
ME: Sure, I can get that information for you.
SW: Okay, thanks, bye. *click*
So, you just wanted to know...what? If it was within my power to be able to answer a question in the event that you someday may need to ask it for real? Or were you practicing your skills as an inquisitor? Glad I could be of assistance, I guess.
A fool and his money
SM: I want to cancel my service because I broke my phone.
ME: That's too bad. Fortunately, I see you are enrolled in insurance, so even if the phone is damaged it can be replaced.
SM: Yeah, but the insurance company wants me to pay for it. If I have to buy a phone anyway, I might as well just cancel and start up a new service with someone else.
ME: But, the insurance deductible is only $70. If you cancel, your Termination Fee will be $200.
SM: Yeah, but what's the point of insurance if you have to pay for it?
That is the point of insurance. You pay money every month just in case something happens to your property at some point. If it does, you pay a deductible and the insurance company fixes or replaces the item. What's the point in not paying $70 to replace a $250 piece of equipment rather than a $200 termination fee (plus the cost of a new phone activated with someone else)?
Customer's sucky husband
Customer (nice lady): I need to get a new phone. My old one is broke.
ME: Sorry to hear that. Is there a particular phone you were looking for?
Customer: Something close to my old one. My husband broke it in half because I called his ex-wife a b*tch.
ME: Oh, uh... Oh my.
Customer: It's nothing to worry about. His mangy a$$ is out of here!
You go, girl!
Kind of stupid, but kind of done right
SW: I need to suspend my phone cause I lost it.
ME: Well, I hope it turns up soon. In the meantime, we can suspend it for awhile in case someone else finds it first.
SW: You know what? Can you hold for a minute?
*1 minute later*
SW: Never mind! I found it!
Sounds kind of silly, but then I realized she actually did things right. She called the moment she lost her phone. Most people assume they'll find it and spend a few days searching for it (or they have the bright idea to keep calling it in the hopes that the person who has will give the phone back), and by the time they do call, there are hundreds of dollars in charges to Pakistan. And though I know as well as the customer did they didn't make the calls, the Terms of Service state that the customer is responsible for all charges until the point at which the phone is reported as lost or stolen.
Almost too stupid to believe
SW: I need to change my credit card number you have on file, because I lost my old card.
ME: Okay, lets get that updated. Could I have the new card number please?
SW: Sure. Wait... where is...? Did I leave it at the restaurant? Damn. I'll have to call you back.
Ok, things get misplaced. But you just got a new card because you lost the old one. I would think you'd at least try to use even a little more caution from now on!
Aww
Nice Man: Can I speak to your supervisor?
ME: Uh, sure.
Nice Man: I'm not mad or anything. It's just that I really appreciate everything you've done for me. No one has ever gone so far to try to help me out and provide so many useful options. You're one of the few people out there who really care about the customer. I want to make sure your boss knows about it.
It's kind of sad that I'm so used to people screaming at me, calling me names, insulting my family, trying to tear me down, and just being downright mean and nasty, that the only time I feel like crying is when someone wants to tell me or my superiors how wonderful I am. Not that I'm the CSR from Hell or anything. I give the same treatment to all my customers. Some of them are decent people and know how to calm down and listen to reason.
On the other hand
SW: Why should I have to pay for a phone? I've been a customer for 12 years!
ME: But I've offered the phone you want for free.
SW: Yeah, with a 2 year contract! And new customers get it free also! Why shouldn't I get better treatment?
ME: I can only give you the best deal I have. Yes, that phone is free for new customers, but I can't possibly get you a lower price than free.
SW: Then give me something better!
ME: We can look at other phones, but this is the one you really want. I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing what it is you want me to do.
SW: Well you'd better think of something, or I'll just go sign up with another company.
ME: With a 2 year contract. You would be committing yourself to 2 years with a company you have no experience with, don't know where the coverage does and does not meet your needs, and would have to pay $20 more a month for the same amount of minutes because of the old promotional plan you still have.
SW: LET ME TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!
Needless to say, she didn't want to talk about how wonderful I am.
SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME = Not you
Nice attitude
ME: If I could just have your mobile phone number please?
SW: XXX-XXX-XXXX
ME: Hmm, I don't have an account with that number. If this for a prepaid phone?
SW: No, that's my home phone number.
ME: Could I have your MOBILE number please?
SW: Cause that's what what you said. Do you want my mobile number?
ME *twitch*: Yes, that would be lovely.
SW: XXX-XXX-XXXX
ME: And how can I help you today?
SW: What? Speak up, for crying out loud! You're mumbling and your words are running together!
If your hearing is that bad, why do you possess a phone?
Thank you, drive through
SW: Can you tell me when my contract is up?
ME: Sure, I can get that information for you.
SW: Okay, thanks, bye. *click*
So, you just wanted to know...what? If it was within my power to be able to answer a question in the event that you someday may need to ask it for real? Or were you practicing your skills as an inquisitor? Glad I could be of assistance, I guess.
A fool and his money
SM: I want to cancel my service because I broke my phone.
ME: That's too bad. Fortunately, I see you are enrolled in insurance, so even if the phone is damaged it can be replaced.
SM: Yeah, but the insurance company wants me to pay for it. If I have to buy a phone anyway, I might as well just cancel and start up a new service with someone else.
ME: But, the insurance deductible is only $70. If you cancel, your Termination Fee will be $200.
SM: Yeah, but what's the point of insurance if you have to pay for it?
That is the point of insurance. You pay money every month just in case something happens to your property at some point. If it does, you pay a deductible and the insurance company fixes or replaces the item. What's the point in not paying $70 to replace a $250 piece of equipment rather than a $200 termination fee (plus the cost of a new phone activated with someone else)?
Customer's sucky husband
Customer (nice lady): I need to get a new phone. My old one is broke.
ME: Sorry to hear that. Is there a particular phone you were looking for?
Customer: Something close to my old one. My husband broke it in half because I called his ex-wife a b*tch.
ME: Oh, uh... Oh my.
Customer: It's nothing to worry about. His mangy a$$ is out of here!
You go, girl!
Kind of stupid, but kind of done right
SW: I need to suspend my phone cause I lost it.
ME: Well, I hope it turns up soon. In the meantime, we can suspend it for awhile in case someone else finds it first.
SW: You know what? Can you hold for a minute?
*1 minute later*
SW: Never mind! I found it!
Sounds kind of silly, but then I realized she actually did things right. She called the moment she lost her phone. Most people assume they'll find it and spend a few days searching for it (or they have the bright idea to keep calling it in the hopes that the person who has will give the phone back), and by the time they do call, there are hundreds of dollars in charges to Pakistan. And though I know as well as the customer did they didn't make the calls, the Terms of Service state that the customer is responsible for all charges until the point at which the phone is reported as lost or stolen.
Almost too stupid to believe
SW: I need to change my credit card number you have on file, because I lost my old card.
ME: Okay, lets get that updated. Could I have the new card number please?
SW: Sure. Wait... where is...? Did I leave it at the restaurant? Damn. I'll have to call you back.
Ok, things get misplaced. But you just got a new card because you lost the old one. I would think you'd at least try to use even a little more caution from now on!
Aww
Nice Man: Can I speak to your supervisor?
ME: Uh, sure.
Nice Man: I'm not mad or anything. It's just that I really appreciate everything you've done for me. No one has ever gone so far to try to help me out and provide so many useful options. You're one of the few people out there who really care about the customer. I want to make sure your boss knows about it.
It's kind of sad that I'm so used to people screaming at me, calling me names, insulting my family, trying to tear me down, and just being downright mean and nasty, that the only time I feel like crying is when someone wants to tell me or my superiors how wonderful I am. Not that I'm the CSR from Hell or anything. I give the same treatment to all my customers. Some of them are decent people and know how to calm down and listen to reason.
On the other hand
SW: Why should I have to pay for a phone? I've been a customer for 12 years!
ME: But I've offered the phone you want for free.
SW: Yeah, with a 2 year contract! And new customers get it free also! Why shouldn't I get better treatment?
ME: I can only give you the best deal I have. Yes, that phone is free for new customers, but I can't possibly get you a lower price than free.
SW: Then give me something better!
ME: We can look at other phones, but this is the one you really want. I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing what it is you want me to do.
SW: Well you'd better think of something, or I'll just go sign up with another company.
ME: With a 2 year contract. You would be committing yourself to 2 years with a company you have no experience with, don't know where the coverage does and does not meet your needs, and would have to pay $20 more a month for the same amount of minutes because of the old promotional plan you still have.
SW: LET ME TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!
Needless to say, she didn't want to talk about how wonderful I am.
Or, you can just renew your contract in August, keep your number, and pay the rebate price for the phone... (explain again that termination fee + cost after rebate is more expensive than outright price)
I'd just get a big laugh out of the store clerk's face...... and hopefully they would laugh with me and I wouldn't really end up being an SC..... 
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