Things you CANNOT return.....

[Fera Festiva]

Back when I worked at Claire's I had a customer try to return a set of three pairs of earrings, costing a total of £1, because they weren't real gold and had given her an allergic reaction. Well, duh...

Incidentally:

1.) A used toilet snake, complete with bits of paper hanging from it.

is a toilet snake?

[Rogue_zero]

Okay, I work in a Taco Bell. And people will do whatever they can to get free food. Besides, fast food is notorious for bending over backwards for idiots. However, I do not. Very long story short, I dealt with the bottom of the barrel of people for months, I had stupid managers and even stupider upper management. I long since stopped giving in to customers.

Customer comes in and starts ordering with the cashier. I'm passing by on the way to the food line to make the food, so he yells out to me, "And make sure there's steak on my burrito, last time I bought one there was hardly any on there!".

I'm cool with that so far. He could have been a bit more polite about it but whatever. I know the other managers at my 'Bell can sometimes skimp on portions so I have no problem making sure his burrito has lots of steak.

I make it personally. I double the amount of steak on his burrito. He eats it. I watched him eat it. I was helping my cashier clean trays at the counter so I kept an eye on him. Seemingly no problem. Until he finishes it and walks up to the counter

SC: I want another burrito. That one didn't have any steak on it and I asked specifically to make sure there was steak on it
Me: Oh really?
SC: Yes I want another one immediately.
Me: Well then let me tell you something. I made that burrito personally and I can tell you it had double the amount of steak normally on it, and we didn't even charge you for the extra. Now I'm flattered that you liked the burrito so much that you want another one, but you WILL be paying for it.
SC: Forget it I want my money back
Me: Meh. No.

Stupid customer points to a sign that hangs in the Taco Bell lobby. Basically it says "You like it or we eat the cost!".

SC: You have to give me a refund if I ask for it! It says so on your poster
Me: It's not my poster. It's also not my problem. You had a perfectly good burrito sir and I'm not giving you a free one or your money back. If you want anything, call our corporate office. They don't have spines so they'll give you whatever you want.
SC: Call your corporate office? And do what?
Me: Well if you give them your phone number and address, they'll send you...

And he cut me off. And he made the funniest comment I'll ever remember an SC saying. Who here ever watched the movie "Waiting"? Anybody? Show of hands real quick. Brace yourselves...

SC: What are they going to do, MAIL ME MY BURRITO???

I just lost it. Not in an angry way either. I just broke up laughing hysterically. I work in fast food, that is my favorite movie, and damn I hadn't even seen it coming. Of course the customer looks all indignant when I'm laughing. My co-workers all looked confused. So I completely ignore the customer and I tell them about that scene from the movie. All the while I'm pointing at the SC and making comments like "And he did the line! He's just like that idiot from the movie!"

He got really pissed off but he took the number of corporate and stormed off. Never saw him again.