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  • #1

    Stop Talking and Listen to My Instructions!

    This call was about ten minutes long, and by the end of it I was ready to pull my hair out. This customer is a Talker, and I had a hard time getting a word in edgewise. I actually shortened some of this down, but you'll still get an idea of what an annoying experience this was.

    The bank recently changed our website to make it prettier and add some new information. One of the changes was that, instead of having a link to the online banking in the upper right corner of the main page, there’s now a login there instead. Once you get into the online banking, everything is the same.

    <ring, ring>
    Me: Good morning. This is Ghel.
    SC: Hi, Ghel! How are you? It’s Lily. I see you guys changed your website, and now I don’t know how to get into my online banking. Did you have a good 4th? It was so beautiful on Saturday.
    Me: Yes, it was very nice. I went to the fireworks. Are you on the website?
    SC: Yeah, I went down to <town>, but I got bored after a while, so I went home.
    Me: Ok. Are you on the website now?
    SC: Yeah I’m on <website>/contactus
    Me: If you go back to the main page, you’ll see--
    SC: Hold on, I’ve got to get back there. It’s <website>.
    Me: Yes. At the upper right hand corner, you should see “Online Banking” and--
    SC: <starts reading the menu along the left side>
    Me: No, do you see the bank logo and name at the top?
    SC: Yes, and then it’s just gray to the right.
    Me: That’s weird. The login for online banking should be to the right.
    SC: Yeah, it’s just gray and there’s a zero. And the picture is goes off the screen.
    Me: Oh, the web page must be wider than your screen. You should have a scrollbar at the bottom of the screen. You’ll need to drag it to the right.
    SC: You mean the big bar at the bottom? I just clicked on it, and it’s loading Skype.
    Me: <facepalm> No, it should be a gray bar at the bottom of the web page.
    SC: <after a couple more tries> Ok, now I see “Online Banking” and the boxes that say “user id” and “password.”
    Me: Ok, click in the box that says “user id” and type in your user id.
    SC: It’s still the same thing, right? <starts telling me her user id>
    Me: Yes, it hasn’t changed.
    SC: I can’t backspace over the words that are in the box.
    Me: You don’t have to. Just type in your user id.
    SC: The blinky thing’s at the end of the words. I can’t move it.
    Me: You don’t have to. Just type.
    SC: But I can’t move it.
    Me: Just. Type.
    SC: <finally types in her user id, telling me each letter as she does>
    Me: And your password.
    SC: It’s still <password>, right?
    Me: It hasn’t changed. <I don’t know your password, nor do I want to.>
    SC: <spells out password as she types it> And then I suppose I click “Login”?
    Me: Yes. … Did you get in? Is everything ok?
    SC: Yeah, I got in. I just want to make sure the checks I wrote this weekend have cleared. <starts rattling off places she wrote checks to and the amounts> I don’t see this one I wrote for <place and amount>. Can you check to see if it cleared?
    Me: Ok. <anything to get you off the phone>
    SC: <continues rambling about her checks and what she did over the weekend>
    Me: <tuning her out> Which check was it?
    SC: It was <amount> at <place>. It hasn’t cleared yet.
    Me: No, it hasn’t. So is everything good?
    SC: Oh, yeah. I just want to keep an eye on my account. <ramble>
    Me: <when she pauses to take a breath> Ok, have a nice day!
    SC: You, too!
    Me: <click>

    OMG, I wanted a drink after that!
    "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
    -Mira Furlan
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I know the feeling. I updated a website's admin section for a client a long time ago. The layout was exactly the same, it was mostly the icons and graphics that changed. Even then, it wasn't like the pictograms were different; There was just some shadowing and 3D effects added to them.

    It was as if I had changed every little thing around for them. They were upset, telling me that now they needed to retrain everybody. There was no getting through to them that everything works the same; it's just the buttons look a little different. They were doubly upset that I refused to downgrade them back to what it was before, since the main reason I did the update was because of some serious security holes that were patched in this release.
    Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
    Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
    Fiancee: What?!
    Me: Nevermind.

    Comment

    • #3
      Both Ghel's story and thehuckster's comment should not only like customers I've talked to, but also like some of my co-workers. *sigh* And the thread title is something I desperately want to say to many of my customers, especially the ones that keep going "Uh-huh, okay, right, okay..." over and over and over while I'm trying to explain something they NEED to know--it takes three times as long as it should because they won't shut up long enough to actually HEAR the info!!

      You both have my sympathies.
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

      Comment

      • #4
        I always dreaded calls like these. Even worse are the people who don't understand the lingo. Ever tried to explain the concept of "right click on an empty spot on the Desktop" over the phone..? >_< Not fun...especially once you realize that you also need to explain the concept of "Desktop" at that point.
        Last edited by EricKei; 07-07-2015, 03:20 AM.
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth EricKei View Post
          I always dreaded calls like these. Even worse are the people who don't understand the lingo. Ever tried to explain the concept of "right click on an empty spot on the Desktop" over the phone..? >_< Not fun...especially once you realize that you also need to explain the concept of "Desktop" at that point.
          ...then you realize the guy's been on an iPad this entire time (or, worse, a Blackberry!)
          Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
          Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
          Fiancee: What?!
          Me: Nevermind.

          Comment

          • #6
            I was afraid I was going to have to explain "click and drag" or even "scroll bar." I was just surprised that the web page was off the edge of her screen. She must not have a widescreen monitor and have her resolution turned down really low. But I wasn't about to try to explain all that to her!
            "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
            -Mira Furlan

            Comment

            • #7
              I think 1024x768 is still the defacto standard for minimum resolution, which itself is pretty low, but still probably used by some budget notebook computers. Any lower than that and I'd have to wonder if you still have a CRT monitor and floppy drive to boot.
              Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
              Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
              Fiancee: What?!
              Me: Nevermind.

              Comment

              • #8
                A lot of my older customers deliberately have their resolution set lower than their monitor supports - they have vision trouble, and lowering the resolution makes everything bigger.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth VComps View Post
                  A lot of my older customers deliberately have their resolution set lower than their monitor supports - they have vision trouble, and lowering the resolution makes everything bigger.
                  Not just the elderly. I'm not yet 40 and my resolution's low.
                  "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                  Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                  The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I once had someone with the weirdest colour settings on their monitor. When you went into their folders it was black with green neon writing. And that was the least head ache inducing part. I swear it took longer to work on their computer because of the colour scheme than the actual problem.
                    How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Mother

                      Quoth Ghel View Post
                      I was afraid I was going to have to explain "click and drag" or even "scroll bar." I was just surprised that the web page was off the edge of her screen. She must not have a widescreen monitor and have her resolution turned down really low. But I wasn't about to try to explain all that to her!
                      My mother was very bad this way.

                      She refuse to admit her eye-sight was going bad, so she would not wear her glasses while using the computer. So she always was using it at 800*600, even 1024*768 made things too small for her - and she had a 13 inch screen.

                      Of-course, the moment she tried to do something besides her Spider-Solitaire and reading her email the software was designed for a higher res screen and things would not work or be off the screen.

                      Trying to get her to learn to change the resolution for the program she was using - IMPOSSIBLE!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Meanwhile

                        While I am getting older and use reading glasses at times, I have a 39 inch 4K display. I find it useful for taking screen captures of Google Maps. It is also great for large program listings.

                        It is weird to see people half my age having problems using a screen I can read fine without any glasses at all.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth thehuckster View Post
                          I think 1024x768 is still the defacto standard for minimum resolution, which itself is pretty low, but still probably used by some budget notebook computers. Any lower than that and I'd have to wonder if you still have a CRT monitor and floppy drive to boot.
                          Hey, I'm running 1024x768 on a CRT monitor - and I have both kinds of floppy drive (5 1/4" 1.2M and 3 1/2" 1.44M).
                          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth wolfie View Post
                            Hey, I'm running 1024x768 on a CRT monitor - and I have both kinds of floppy drive (5 1/4" 1.2M and 3 1/2" 1.44M).
                            Real men have 8" floppies.
                            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Pff. What, no 8-inch floppy drive? ^_^ (edit: jinx >_< damn postninjas)

                              I actually worked in an office that had those. They were no longer being used, TBH, but they still had the damn things stored in their "we don't throw any records away" cabinet. I proposed using them as decorations for a mobile
                              Real men have 8" floppies
                              Yeah, but their partners seem to prefer them once they're no longer quite so floppy...i.e., once they're in a solid state.
                              Last edited by EricKei; 07-10-2015, 01:42 PM.
                              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                              Comment

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