The Liars' Club

[Kara]

If we approve this kind of bull, we'll only go back 12 months.

We'll only go back 60 days. And that's IF we're feeling generous enough to credit even that much for what we consider "valid" charges.

[Gravekeeper]

OMG!!!!
*Suddenly has a mental image of GK with his pants up to his nibbles a big ass cane screaming on the phone to his cell phone company "IVE BEEN A CUSTOMER FOR 40 YEARS GAWDDANGIT!!!"*

*falls over giggling*

Hey! I'm only 27. >.<

[Sliceanddice]

yeah but you called yourself old not me
and im 20 so :P old man

[wanderingjoe72]

SW: I almost died! I had the Kidney stones!

I love the use of "the" in relation to kidney stones. Sounds like an old person there.

I have had "the" kidney stones and they hurt bad, but are not even close to being life threatening. I did have to hit the emergency room a couple of times, but they just gave me a couple of iv bags and a nice happy shot. I was out in a couple of hours.

I can understand a serious accident or sudden illness, but kidney stones? Bah.

[LifeCarnie]

Why didn't he just take the phone and sell one?

Now you're just being silly, that would have required thinking.

[Ljt09863]

Hey! I'm only 27. >.<

that may be, but i read in...i think it was Readers Digest, that if you are 25 or older, you are older than half the population of the world. im only 21, so im still in the younger half!

*runs and hides from everybody 25 and older*

[Reyneth]

that may be, but i read in...i think it was Readers Digest, that if you are 25 or older, you are older than half the population of the world. im only 21, so im still in the younger half!

*runs and hides from everybody 25 and older*

Yeah, you better be running!

But keep in mind the elderly group is the fastest growing age group - we we will soon overpower you, youngin'! We'll start putting metamucil in everything. *bwaahhhahaha*

GK, I could do younger than me. What's a few months to a year, right?

[Geek King]

Hostage Situation

SM: Well, I’m under contract so there’s nothing I can do. You are holding me hostage.

I really hate it when people use this one. I didn’t hold a gun to your head when you begged and pleaded for whatever plan or phone came along with the contract. Trust me, if I held a gun to your head, there would be no contract. Only a satisfying “BLAM!” and flying chunks of skull and brain matter. We’re more like the mob. You want something from us, we ask for something in return. You want to back out on your end, fine. But you’ll pay the price. If I could send you a severed horse’s head instead of a termination charge I would.

<\shoves cotton in his cheeks>

Twenty years I have lived here and you have never spoken to me, never said hello as I walked by. On this day, the day of my daughter's wedding, I will do this thing for you. I will give you this phone you have asked me for. In return, someday--and this day may never come--someone may come to you in my name an ask for a favor. You will do everything in your power to grant this favor, and then I will consider us even. Now go. I will send you word when the phone is complete.

Shut Up, Randy

Thanks to the trailer trash accent, you sound like a female Donnie Baker.

Ma Phyllis, maybe? Did she ask if you wanted to buy a boat?

[Primer]

*runs and hides from everybody 25 and older*

Heh. While you're running and getting tired, I can catch you in my wheelchair! The batteries are good for about 10 hours!