When customers can't pronounce words properly...

[CancelMyService]

Somewhat inspired by the "can I learn to speak stupid" threads, some real mangled terminology I've heard from customers.

Digi-gal: what the box provides (digital cable).

CamCost: the company I work for.

Adell-fy: The company that was in parts of the area before they went bankrupt (Adelphia)

Masher: remote control. Bonus points for people who when you tell them which button to hit they ask "SHOULD I MASH THAT'N?"

Bawks: The thing you rent from us and plug into your TV. Kind of hard to convey in type, but for some reason a significant portion of the Western PA area pronounces the word "box" as if they had their mouth full of creamed corn. When spoken, it sounds like halfway through saying the word they just decided to hawk a loog. I don't know why but it irks me. People who do that always seem to stress that word in a sentence too. "Yeah, there's something wrong with my BAWWWWWWWWWCCCCCCCCCCCCCSSSSSSS"


Also, your service doesn't get disconnected or reconnected - it gets "cut off" or "cut on". Now "cut off" I can understand, but I have to fight the urge to let people know how much saying "cut on" makes you sound like a dipshit.


Anyone else have examples of customers who can't pronounce common terms used in your line of work?

[MrSunshineState]

LOL! I did customer service for Adel-phy. Although our customers pronounced digital as "digigle"


ps, I HATED that job. You are 75 days delinquent, have past due balance of over $400, haven't made a payment on time in 24 months and you threaten to take your business to dish and have us lose a "good customer"?? see ya

[edible_hat]

One of our fuels is officially called E10 (e-ten), because it's 10% ethanol. Most people just call it ethanol, a few say e-one-oh and one called it 'ello.

[GingerBiscuit]

Glucosamine. Ok, it's a long word, but most people would work out how to pronounce it.

Not our customers. So far my list is at:
Glusamine
Glucomine
Glusadine
Glucosestream
Glutsamine
Glucisimine
Codamine
Glusa-whatsit
Glutenline


Similar with Echinacea. And the same people mispronounce it each time, after hearing us pronounce it correctly (Ek-in-ashe-ia)
Esinechia
Acacia
Cinchea
Achechewer

I think people see long words and instead of working out the logical pronunciation, go into panic mode:
"Arrrrgh, no, no, no. no! I can never say that long word! It's too long! It's scary!"

[Jewels]

CamCost: the company I work for.

I work for a competitor of your company, and I have had people call to set up service with us and tell me what they use to have with CamCost.


Some of our subs call us SkyBox...the first part is the actual first part of the company name...the box comes from the receiver....I dunno.

[HawaiianShirts]

I've posted in threads like this one a few times before, so I'll hold back the big list. I do have some new ones, though.

We've got Acer computers in the store again. You'd think a short word like that would be easy, but, no. It gets butchered. Repeatedly. Pronunciations like:
"Acre" (as in a unit of measurement)
"A Sarah"
and my favorite: "ASS-er"

Apparently computers have "mega-gigs" and "giga-megs," though customers have no idea what those terms might mean when they try to use them.

AMD consistently changes to ADM or ADN or "Amid."

A few days ago, someone was looking for a "Trilobite" hard drive, and even though I called it a "Terabyte" a dozen times during our conversation, he never caught on.

And once, about a month ago, I overheard some high school kid and his buddies oohing and aahing over the new Gateway with the Intel Quad Core Processor. He said, "It's got the new Quidditch Processing!"

Oh, and CamCost? That one's been a problem for customers around here, too. But it usually becomes Com-Cables or Com-Quest.

[Boozy]

Wine store = fun with pronunciation.

You can guess most of the mistakes people make. None of these folks are sucky at all. I don't even correct them half the time (unless I get the feeling that I could save them some embarrassment in the future).

I'll admit, I get tired of hearing merlot pronounced with a hard "t", but I'm the wine expert, they're not. That's why I have my job.

Everyone gets a free pass at pronouncing "gewurtztraminer".

[freaktard]

When I worked in Window Treatments, we sold something called an "Austrian Valance."

Every day I would get people calling it an "Australian Valance."

After a while I just wanted to beat them over the head with a geography textbook.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Ooh! Ooh! My two faves!
BAJELS and BAGGIES!

Bajels I forgave cuz I understood right away. Baggies? oh boy.

Me: Me. WHAT ARE THE ODDS!
SC: clue by four non-enthusiast.

SC: Do you have baggies?
Me: *leads her to the baggies, aka ziplocs bags*
SC: NO! *circular motion with her pointing hand* the bread, the bread, the bread, the bread, the bread, the bread, the bread, the bread, the bread, *points in the air* with the hole!
Me: OOOOOH! BAGELS!

or aiglebran (eaglebrand milk) or Knox Diamond (which made me think, why does she want jelly cheese?--Knox= gelatine and Black Diamond= Cheese) or even triangle-shaped bagels! (turnovers)

[Mindfield]

One of the small engine companies that we distribute parts and products for is Tecumseh. Not precisely the easiest thing in the world to pronounce at first blush (Teh-CUM-see or Teh-CUM-suh are both acceptable), but phonetics will get you through just fine. For most people. For others...

"I have a t...tuh---teh...tehcoomesh...tehmacoosh...tecoomsh...tooma-- IT'S RED."

[Hawkguy]

I'm a retail rep for the same company (I think) that Kara works for, about 30 minutes west of her. Every stinking day someone comes into my store and says, " Yeah I need me one of them sims cards."

It's a sim card you moron. Plus you probably don't really need one because they are virtually indestructible. What you probably want is an activation card.

[monolayth]

Everyone gets a free pass at pronouncing "gewurtztraminer".

YaY! I get a free pass! now what exactly do I get?

When I worked at the O'club we would have wine tastings. The reps from the wine companies would come out and we would have a game at seeing how much we could make them twitch by mispronouncing the names of the wines around them.

[Nayeli_Sabia]

CamCost: the company I work for.

Spoonerism: the act of switching consonants or vowels. Named for Reverend William Archibald Spooner.

I have a habit of spoonerising things in my head. It amuses me. However, sometimes things just slip out in conversation. I was talking about cutting the grass with the Mawnlower once, without even realizing that i was saying it wrong. Some words are more dangerous to spoonerise, and you can spoonerise phrases. My favorite person at the local Renaissance Faire is Zilch the Torysteller. His classics include "Rindercella and the Stoo Tugly Epsisters," "Parunzel," "Rittle Led Hiding Rood," and Spilliam Wakshear's "Jomeo and Ruliet"

[IHateStupidCustomers]

I worked at the Victoria's Secret catalogue for awhile (worst job on the planet) and we would often sell "faux" fur jackets, vests, etc. "Faux" meaning fake fur. I couldn't tell you how many women I got who called in asking for the "Fox" fur jacket on page whatever. I, wanting to avoid getting the bitchy customer call-backs when they find out it's not Fox fur, tell them that it is, indeed, not real Fox fur. I get screamed at that, "YES, it is! It says so right here in the catalogue." I tell them, "It says FAUX fur. F-a-u-x, pronounced foe. It means fake fur." And then I get screamed at that we sell crap or that I'm not looking at the right page. People are dumb.

[Spiffy McMoron]

This would amuse me more if it weren't kind of spooky.

Quite a few mechanics at the shop I work at (1/4 to 1/3, out of a shop of 30 or so) will ask for brake calibers. You know, the part of the brake that squeezes the pads?

*sigh*

Calibers are for guns. CALIPERS are for brakes.