When customers can't pronounce words properly...

[Interior Desecrator]

Spoonerism: the act of switching consonants or vowels. Named for Reverend William Archibald Spooner.

I have a habit of spoonerising things in my head. It amuses me. However, sometimes things just slip out in conversation. I was talking about cutting the grass with the Mawnlower once, without even realizing that i was saying it wrong. Some words are more dangerous to spoonerise, and you can spoonerise phrases. My favorite person at the local Renaissance Faire is Zilch the Torysteller. His classics include "Rindercella and the Stoo Tugly Epsisters," "Parunzel," "Rittle Led Hiding Rood," and Spilliam Wakshear's "Jomeo and Ruliet"

*GASP!* I LOVE Zilch the Torysteller, especially when he mentions how he's been banned from Fudruckers. (Think about that one, kids!) My boyfriend and I have a habit of playing with spoonerisms for fun.

Also, back on the topic of wine names, I must confess to pronouncing merlot with a hard "t". However, I do it on purpose for fun, because the stuff I buy is about 4 bucks a bottle. That price, in my opinion, doesn't buy the correct pronunciation.

In my line of work, we have a few words to butcher. One I cracked up over was a woman who couldn't pronounce "corbel." (Corbels are those decorative things that hold up countertops or sit under a mantle.) She kept saying it without the final "L", and made it rhyme with "sorbet." (As in, "core-bay".) Made me hungry every time!

[Nayeli_Sabia]

*GASP!* I LOVE Zilch the Torysteller, especially when he mentions how he's been banned from Fudruckers. (Think about that one, kids!) My boyfriend and I have a habit of playing with spoonerisms for fun.

Popcorn is also a bad one.

My husband and I have both his Cd's, and just the Faire picked up his new DVD. Our daughter has been listening to him since she was born(she's a year old) and laughs. "The Arachnid of Diminutive Stature" is a favorite of ours. And everyone knows it's just not a story without a good Falk in the worset.

[Mindfield]

I don't know how many here have been around long enough to remember or watch, but Ronnie Barker, in his role as the larger half of The Two Ronnies, had a recurring skit in which he would "pispronounce" most of his words in a manner that ended up being suffocatingly funny. I wish I could find a clip, but YouTube is suspiciously bereft of this skit.

[Andara Bledin]

Spoonerism: the act of switching consonants or vowels. Named for Reverend William Archibald Spooner.

Heh. One popular and potentially problematic spoonerism is the ever favorite "ociffer," usually used in the phrace, "what can I do ya for, ociffer?"

I have a friend who, on a dare, actually said that to the officer that puller her over. Since it was fairly obvious that she was sober, the guy laughed it off. She still got the ticket, though.

I LOVE Zilch the Torysteller, especially when he mentions how he's been banned from Fudruckers. (Think about that one, kids!)

Way back when I was still in high school, I was hanging out with a guy I had a crush on at his place, and his mom offered to have me come to Fudruckers with them. Only, she didn't actually say Fudruckers... She was mortified that she'd just said that in front of three high school kids, one of them a guest.

^-.-^

[Chazzie]

Well, this is related to kids in my English class who can't read, rather than customers.

But whenever we're reading Shakespeare in class, none of the kids can say "Aye".

I've heard it all. "Ay", "I-Ee", "Ayeh", "Ah"... It's hilarious how many times they can hit the dart board but never get a point.

[LizaMarie]

I work for a fair trade coffee importer and get the following all the time:

"Is this the place we order the FREE TRADE COFFEE???"

Once upon a time it would be that I would correct them on the differences between fair trade and free trade, but lately I've just been saying "Yes, yes it is."

we also sell a South African red bush tea called "rooibos" and have gotten the following misproununciations:

"r-ooooooo--iiibous?"
"r-r-r-....the, uh...decaf tea"
"roybis?"

(it's roy-boss, or roy-bosh depending on how snobby you are)

[ShinyGreenApple]

"It's got the new Quidditch Processing!"

That amuses the HP geek in me

[AnaKhouri]

I once had a girl for books by Jack Care-o-uck.

It took me several minutes to figure out she wanted "On the Road".

[Spiffy McMoron]

That amuses the HP geek in me

Does the HP stand for Harry Potter or Hewlett-Packard?

[blas]

Marlboro cigarettes. Pronounced like marl bore o or just mar bore o, depending on where you're from.

Many customers wanted Marbo reds or marlberro lights

Virginia Slims was really funny as well. Vagina slims or victoria slims (WTF?)

[ShinyGreenApple]

Does the HP stand for Harry Potter or Hewlett-Packard?

Well, unless Hewlett-Packard really does have a Quidditch Processor . . .

Vagina slims

Most 'customer' mispronunciations are the ones I overhear when I'm with my Mum.

Rotisserie becomes "Rosuneer"

Modulator (to connect an older TV to a DVD player) is a "modular", or worse. I pity the Electronics associates trying to help her when she asks them for "a box". . .

And a few years back, we went to see Hidalgo . . .

"Three for Hid . . .Hildlag, Hiiieeeh . . . that Viggo movie!"

[Bloodsoul]

I'm just happy if the blokes can even say our store name right, let alone our merchandise. Ocean State Job Lot. Ocean State Job Lot! Is it really that hard? Not Ocean City Job Lot, not Ocean State Odd Lot (WTF, mate?), not some truncated version involving three or fewer words, and definitely not Big Lots. GAH!!

I think I need my teddy...

[Imogene]

Spoonerism: the act of switching consonants or vowels. Named for Reverend William Archibald Spooner.

While I don't doubt that there was a person by that name, I always thought Spoonerisms were those odd phrases by the baseball announcer... Yogi Bera...? Or, there was a Spooner of some sort who announced basketball?

Popcorn is also a bad one.

Mmm, copporn! Delicious and buttery... and behind bars!

[ArenaBoy]

I did volunteer work for the Super Bowl when it was in Michigan and Detroit has some amusing street names. Gratiot (Pronounced grash it) which people would Great it. My uncle used to jokingly call the street Ratshit. Then there's Schoenerr (I've probably butchered the spelling) pronounced Shane her. So many people were saying Show end her.

One of the small engine companies that we distribute parts and products for is Tecumseh. Not precisely the easiest thing in the world to pronounce at first blush (Teh-CUM-see or Teh-CUM-suh are both acceptable), but phonetics will get you through just fine. For most people. For others...

"I have a t...tuh---teh...tehcoomesh...tehmacoosh...tecoomsh...tooma-- IT'S RED."

Ever hear of Tecumseh's curse? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_Tippecanoe

[CancelMyService]

While I don't doubt that there was a person by that name, I always thought Spoonerisms were those odd phrases by the baseball announcer... Yogi Bera...? Or, there was a Spooner of some sort who announced basketball?

Yogi Berra, his Yogi-isms are legendary:

* As a general comment on baseball: "90% of the game is physical, the other half is mental."
* On why he no longer went to a trendy St. Louis restaurant: "Nobody goes there any more, it's too crowded!"
* On the attendance problem experienced by the Kansas City Athletics: "If the people don't want to come to the ballpark, how you gonna stop them?"
* "It ain't over till it's over." - After Berra's 1973 Mets trailed the Chicago Cubs by 9½ games in the National League East; the Mets rallied to win the division title on the next-to-last day of the season.
* When giving directions to his New Jersey home, which was equally accessible via two different routes: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
* On why, despite a lack of managerial experience, he thought he could be successful during his first year as a baseball manager: "You can observe a lot by watching."
* Advice given to a young player who had unsuccessfully adopted the batting style of a well-known veteran: "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
* On being the guest of honor at an awards banquet: "I'd like to thank all those who made this night necessary."
* On the afternoon shadows that fell on left field at Yankee Stadium: "It gets late early out here."
* When, during a batting slump, his manager told him to think about his approach: "You can't hit and think at the same time."
* "If Babe Ruth were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave."
* "You should always go to other people's funerals. Otherwise, they won't come to yours."