The SC's guide to checking out!

[Reyneth]

Oooh oooh ooh!

#whatever
Wait until the cashier tells you the total before you get your coupons out of your purse/wallet/crack of your.......
Bonus points if you've already started to pay so the cashier needs to backtrack.
More bonus points if you can take 5+ minutes arguing about the "validity" of a coupon for an item you don't actually have (wrong size or brand) all to save $1.00 or less.
Even more bonus if the cashier has to pull the receipt out of the printer to match the coupons you have to the already-bagged items because you have no idea what you bought that you have coupons for.

[bainsidhe]

How about:

-Wait until I ring up approximately $120.00 worth of groceries before you declare in a loud voice that this is too expensive and you only brought $50.00 with you. Then proceed to put back all remaining items in your cart, and then put back most of what I've already bagged and has been put in your basket. Double points when most of the re-shops are meat, frozen dinners and frozen vegetables. But you'll keep the 4 bags of chips (This happens much more often than I care to admit, folks). So now we have to claim out that expensive perishable product because of food safety standards and whatnot. We just live for keeping people safe and are glad to rise to the challenge.

-Ask if you can pay two ways, such as with two credit cards. Then tell me you want to split it evenly, expecting this cashier who is focusing on scanning, bagging and currently with the attention span of a raisin to do math in her head. Good for you not letting the fact that my brain has been asleep for the last two hours of mindless work deter you in the least. Kudos also when I insist you tell me how much you want on each card and you just round it off so one of you pays $60.00 and the other pays $64.32. Good for you college boy. (really, this insistance prevents a lot of suckiness should I "gasp", do math correctly and customer decides they wanted a different value that "sounded" better or "gasp cough", I miscalculate by ten cents).

-Ask if you can take an extra couple bags and then grab the whole stack of 50 and quick-shuffle walk away. Hey, always glad we can help.

-Come up with an ice cream sandwich and tell me you already ate one, so can I scan this one so you can pay. Oh, but you're not buying the one I'm scanning, you just wanted to pay one you ate. No problem, we'll just claim out this sandwich and take a loss. I mean, glad such icey-sugary-goodness prevented you from overheating in our store. We wouldn't want you to like, sweat or anything.

-Speaking of ice-cream, come up with a box of ice cream and declare in a disgusted tone that it is "too melted". We apologize and understand that the A/C should be kept below freezing at all times so that your ice cream doesn't melt after being in your cart for 1-1/2 hours on a 95F day.

-Ask me to double bag. Everything. Yes, that includes the bread. Better safe than sorry, no?

-Walk up with an earpiece cell phone, yakking away. I love to play the guessing game of "are you talking to me?" It's what I live for and I can't get enough.

-Walk up to the register with two overflowing carts and three family members. Then ask if I can get you another cart while the other three members of your party seem to be pointedly ignoring the conversation. Bonus points when none of your group bothers picking up the bags and ~gasp~ placing them in the newly-retrieved empty cart. I love checking to see just how well that wrist support of mine is working.

And a big peeve of mine:
-Don't bother with the divider, if one is available. Just place your items exactly 2 inches behind the previous customers' so it keeps me guessing. I enjoy the extra practice of doing voids. Bonus points if you actually SURROUND the preceding customers' items with your own. Why that's like a word find puzzle and I have to find the hidden items. Hmm, looks almost the same, yet isn't. Whee, I love puzzles.

Ok, that's it for the moment. I'm sure there are hundreds more. I got a real chuckle at the post. If not for the credit card bit, I would have sworn you work in my store. Ah, the fun of bix box retail.

[reformedwaitress]

Actually this DOES make sense, especially if the customer is paying with cash or a check or even a low interest credit card. Most, if not all, store cards charge between 20-25% interest, which means the 10% off is no bargain, unless the store card also has a grace period of some sort.

Or because you simply don't want a(nother) credit card or because you know your credit is bad and won't get approved. If you don't want it, you don't want it, it's up to you if you save the money. And as long as you're nice about it (saying "No thanks!" and not bitching or throwing a fit) I see no reason why refusing a store card is sucky.

[Becks]

Am I missing anything?

Here's one of my classics...

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ead.php?t=2211

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

It's ok to come to the checkout if you're not done shopping yet! The cashier and customers behind you don't mind at all when they're stuck waiting 15 minutes while you run to the other end of the store for 'one' thing that you forgot. Bonus if it's crap you didn't need, like a frozen pizza or bags of chips.

The rest rooms are very close to the Circ Desk, so what we get all the time is:

SC: Go ahead and check me out ... I'm just going to run and use the ladies/mens room, ok?
Me: Uh ... actually no. If you walk away. I'm going to stop helping you and help the next person in line. I'll take care of you when you get back.
SC: Oh ... uh ... never mind. I'll wait, then.

[chops]

-Ask me to double bag. Everything. Yes, that includes the bread. Better safe than sorry, no?

I remember many years ago being caught behind someone who insisted on everything being bagged paper-in-plastic...then writing a check. Grrr.

[Shengirl]

I remember many years ago being caught behind someone who insisted on everything being bagged paper-in-plastic...then writing a check. Grrr.

They didn't even start writing it until everything was rung and bagged, did they?

[gunsage]

I can't understand double bagging. Literally the ONLY time you should have that done is when it's obviously heavy (cans or, uh, well stuff that's heavy ). In fact, unless it seems like the milk is leaking or something, I don't have people bag my OJ, milk, or whatever. I DO make sure any alcohol is bagged unless it's like a 24 case or something. I try to use a few bags as possible, mostly because unless my wife is planning on making herself lunch for the week, they often go to waste and don't get reused.

[daleduke17]

One time I got a guy that was being a smart-ass, but in a good way. He said he wanted his 25lb bag of dog food in a plastic sack. I reached over, grabbed one of the sacks and put it over the edge of the dog food. Surprisingly the bag reached around the base and up part of the side. The guy just looked at me and laughed. I think he said something like "Well, I did ask..."

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

They didn't even start writing it until everything was rung and bagged, did they?

A customer pre-filling out their check before everything is rung up and bagged?!? That kind of courtesy/intelligence is usually reserved for those of us who've already worked in retail/sales, and/or have been behind a cash register.

[bscabl]

also

oh and dont forget the
'come up to the register, cart full of product you pulled off the shelf.. with the price tags in front of it, and make me price check every single item.. ...twice'

[haggis for the soul]

30. Twelve items shwelve schmitems! What are we gonna do, turn you away?

Oh man, I almost choked on my mashed potatoes.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Actually this DOES make sense, especially if the customer is paying with cash or a check or even a low interest credit card. Most, if not all, store cards charge between 20-25% interest, which means the 10% off is no bargain, unless the store card also has a grace period of some sort.

The only way it works out for you is if you pay off all your credit cards every month. If you are one to carry a balance, the interest will quickly eat up whatever savings you got for opening the card. The few times I have opened a card just for the extra discount I paid it off as soon as the bill came. I did it at Sears for a fairly large purchase, but I don't use the card anymore. I also got talked into getting a Fashion Bug card to save 10 bucks on a $30 purchase (thanks Mom!) and I will probably never use the card again. I know that one was kinda dumb. But if it's a big purchase and you can pay it off when the bill comes, it can be worth it.

There's a store near me that has signs on the ends of the belts that say "For your convenience" don't unload your basket, just put the whole thing on the belt (hand baskets, not carts, obviously). I can't do it. I always unload my basket and stack it neatly in the space under the end of the belt. I even straighten up the rest of the stack if it's messy.

I also hate bags. I try to avoid them whenever possible but usually they will start bagging before I can tell them not to (like when I stopped at Target for a filter for my water pitcher and an impulsive box of chocolate covered mint Milano cookies and I was carrying my big tote bag from work). They have the bags right there and they scan it and drop it in...then I feel bad asking them to take it out of the bag. The other day I stopped at the grocery store and I picked up a few of their reuseable cloth bags...assuming she would at least ask if I wanted the rest of my purchases put in one of them (like the guy did last time I bought one of those bags; they even have rings in them to slip on the bagging rack)...nope, she scanned them and plopped them in a plastic bag. So much for environmentalism...

[flybye023]

26. Rip off bits of your reciept, such as the "you're pre-approved, would you like to open a credit account" message and leave them sitting on the shelf where the finished bags are for me to throw away.

Or, better yet, rip the offending bit of receipt into confetti-sized pieces and sprinkle all over the self check out. Bonus points if you instead choose to throw receipt confetti at the cashier and say in a threatening voice, "I hateall this stuff you print on your receipts. What are you going to do about getting this junk removed from the receipt?!"

[BookstoreEscapee]

Or, better yet, rip the offending bit of receipt into confetti-sized pieces and sprinkle all over the self check out. Bonus points if you instead choose to throw receipt confetti at the cashier and say in a threatening voice, "I hateall this stuff you print on your receipts. What are you going to do about getting this junk removed from the receipt?!"

Personally, I always liked it when I was informed that I "can throw that away" - ooh, can I really???!!!