We don't serve food that isn't "nice"

[Happy Otter Lover]

I had an older couple (in their 60's, not old, just older than me) into my restaurant the other day. I sat them and took their drink order. I went over a couple times to see if they were ready to order, and both times they said they needed more time. After a good 20 minutes (their menus still open), I went back over to ask if they were ready, or if they had any questions
Me: wonderful waitress
SC: prematurely senile man

SC: Don't you have burgers?
Me: Yes, they're listed under the section titled 'Burgers'
SC: I'd like a nice burger
Me: All of our food is excellent, sir. What kind of burger would you like?
SC: Get me a nice burger
Me: Well, we have quite a few different kinds of burgers. We have regular burgers, bacon cheeseburgers, shaved sirloin, stuffed garlic gorgonzola etc etc. What kind would you like?
SC: Just get me a nice burger! A nice burger!
Me: OK, so would you just like the classic burger?
SC: Just a nice burger. Put some nice stuff on it for me.
Me: What would you like on it? You can add mushrooms, cheese, etc
SC: Just put some nice stuff on it!
Me: You might not like what I consider to be nice. I wouldn't want you to not enjoy your meal
SC: OK fine! Just put some nice mushrooms and cheese on it!

He seemed to enjoy his nice burger when he got it and they were very polite when they left. Of course, they still tipped less than 10%.

[ShadedWings]

My (sarcastic) reply - "Okay sir, I'll put some "nice" anchovies, pepper jack cheese and jalapenos on it, that'd be nice! No? Well, it'd be nice for ME."

(Ugh, not the anchovies though, and only a few jalapenos, personally, but that's my opinion. Just my smart-assery kicking in. )

[rvdammit]

Put some nice beetroot slices on it.

[GingerBiscuit]

Somebody asks me for a nice anything they'll get what I think is nice.
At which point they can stop bitching. Can't be more specific? Then shut up and take what you're given.

It's like being asked which of the protein bars 'tastes good'- one, I've only tried a couple, teh ones with the lowest amount of dairy, two, what I think tastes good is probably different to what YOU think tastes good, three none of them 'taste good', some of them just taste less like rancid cheese than others.

[Bright_Star]

I'll have a "nice" burger with a "lovely" bunch of fries & a "gorgeous" cup of soda...lol.

[Custard Chick]

Jeebus I hate it when people do that. It's amazing the amount of times at the Bread Co. and at my old custard stand where people would just say, "I've never been here before, so just order me whatever you want!" (Not exactly the same as your guy, but similar.)

[Boozy]

I despised people who did that to me.

Here's what I always wanted to say to them: Asking your server to guess what you want to eat is an incredibly unfair thing to do. There's no way to read your minds. You're an adult. Act like one.

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

Asking for a recommendation is fine or 'what's your favorite'. If the waiter's favorite involves jalapenos, then our tastes diverge & that's that. The last time I asked a waitress, it worked great. Oh man, I'm getting hungry thinking about that dragon chicken, and I just finished breakfast.

But nice? How the heck do you quantify 'nice'?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, you know, he may have been really looking forward to ripping into the server when the burger wasn't exactly what he wanted. And what better way to make sure he got to enjoy some angst and drama then to not tell the server what he wanted?

There are a lot of people out there with issues.

[Fungus]

I'll have a "nice" burger with a "lovely" bunch of fries & a "gorgeous" cup of soda...lol.

A handsome cup of coffee and a pleasantly behaved piece of apple pie for dessert would be perfect.

[Greenday]

If I had that guy, and all he asked for a was a nice burger, I would have gotten him the most plain burger possible. If he wanted a nice cheeseburger with nice lettuce and nice tomato, he'd ask for it.

[tollbaby]

I've been known to tell people (way back in the ancient history of my bartending/waitressing days): "Sir/ma'am, Unless you can tell me exactly what it is you'd like to eat, I'll give you a few more minutes to sort that out. I can't tell my cook 'Just make him something nice' so please be specific." with a big smile on my face

[Sliceanddice]

im with the geting him the plaines boringest burger humanly possible...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

People used to come in to have a flyer/tshirt/poster/whatever made and tell me to "Oh, I dont' care, use your judgement."

You know, that's the biggest lie every, Yeah, you do care. And you'll tell me it doesn't look like you've pictured when the proof comes back.

I've actually said, "Sir, you won't like my judgment, I have tacky taste. Let's just bypass the part where you are horrified by my judgement and come to the part where you tell me what you have in mind."

With the proper delivery, you can usually get a chuckle, and then details, out of them instead of pissing them off.

[excuse me??]

This is just a theory... but watching television 24/7 can effect "some" people... deminishing their social and thinking skills. Making them seem senile before their time.