You know you're a retail zobie when...

[Shards]

It was coming sooner or later, figured I'd throw in my 2 cents and get the ball rolling.

"You know you're a retail zombie when...

...You go to your old place of employment, and upon checking out, you say the scripted goodbye to the cashier before they can say it to you."

... You wake up, months after your last job, and think 'What's my shift today?'"

... You can still remember your SPM (scans per minute) score a year after quitting your job as a cashier."

... You can walk into a store during business hours, and ask for the Sups by name."

... You have ever showed someone the way to an item they were looking for in a store you've never worked in."

I'll come up with more later, anyone else have any?

[Forensic Waitress]

... when a new employee at your old store makes a mistake with your transaction and you can talk them through fixing it up.'

[Boozy]

Your husband comes home after you've worked a particularly long shift, and you greet him at the door with, "Hi there! What can I get for you today?"

I swear to you all, I have done this. My husband's response was, not surprisingly, obscene.

[d962831]

...when you're shopping in a store you used to work in and overhear someone else ask a current employee where an item is and state its location before the employee can process what is being asked.
...when you know more about store policy than the assistant manager on duty

[MMATM]

... You have ever showed someone the way to an item they were looking for in a store you've never been in."

Edited for increased ridiculousness, while maintaining truthfulness. And truthiness.


And my input:

You know you're a retail zombie when...

...You've found yourself habitually facing shelves as you pass through a store.

...You can remember the shifts at your old workplace and know when not to shop there to avoid people you didn't like working with.
or
...You avoid your ex-workplace like the plague, but keep wanting to drop by to see the people you did like working with.

...You measure time by when your workplace/former workplace was last renovated/changed management/bomb threatened/et cetera.

...You've ever been called in to cover someone's shift at work over a year after having stopped working there.
(corollary)...And still had your work shirt.
(corollary)...And actually went in to cover someone.
(corollary)...And outperformed the employees who replaced you.

[karma_gypsy]

.... when you answer the phone (at home or anywhere else) and you do your work spiel instead of "hello?"

.... when you have incredible patience for a retail worker when they're either busy, frustrated, flustered or messed up your transaction.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

You go into your company's stores in other cities and take notes of how they look and how competent and helpful the employees seem to be.

If you decide against buying an item in your cart, you put it back in its correct place because you understand the trouble employees have to go through to put returns away.

When you're shopping and you ask for help, you use retail terms like "endcap" or "planogram"

[Fawn]

.... when you answer the phone (at home or anywhere else) and you do your work spiel instead of "hello?"

My Mom and I used to have that problem

[Shironu-Akaineko]

You know you're a retail zombie when...

You come in for some items, you see a woman scrutinizing a series of items and you feel the urge to say "Are you looking for something in particular?"

I did this today.

[TealJellyfish]

From when I worked as a Barista

3 and a half years after working at your store you can still repeat the ingredients for all the drinks.

You have taught several confused employees at your old store how to use the cash register while ordering your drink

From working at an amusement park:

You help people can their ride bands while standing behind them

You can repeat the safety warnings and have to quell the urge to tell people not run on the metal surfaces

Your co-workers say to you "When you working" even though you haven't worked there in 2 years!

[Xieg]

... When you remember product codes for common produce items (cucumbers, red onions, etc), and rattle them off to the cashier while they are looking over their sheet full of codes.

... When you remember product codes for UNcommon produce items (fiddleheads, aloe leaves), and rattle them off to the cashier while they are looking over their sheet full of codes.
... It's been nearly 5 years.
... And you do not immediately feel shame for remembering those.

... You rejoice when you find out that manager you always despised was canned for one reason or another.
... And you buy food for a celebratory dinner on that same visit.

[RoLleRKoaSTeR]

You know the SKU number of a product(s) months after you stopped working at the store.

You can easily identify and match UPC codes on store shelves faster than any normal customer. - And I still do.

[Eddie The 'Ead]

...you feel the need to collect shopping carts at stores that aren't even yours.

...you constantly have to stop yourself from greeting customers and telling them to have a nice day at stores you don't work at.

[UncleImpy]

After managing a Subway for seven years...

...you know exactly in what order to give your ingredients to the sandwich maker because you remember what order they need to grab them, and you answer all of their questions before they have a chance to ask them (I want a footlong white...club...american cheeze...no toasting...)

...and then unsuccessfully fight the urge to take the sandwich back out of the bag when they finished, because you know you can wrap it better than the person that just made it.

[myswtghst]

.... when you answer the phone (at home or anywhere else) and you do your work spiel instead of "hello?"

My friends find it much funnier than it should be when I do this when answering my cell phone. I think I actually answered my cell phone "Thank you for calling *mycompany*" and the whole schpiel when one of my sups was calling to ask me to come in early once.