Is that Ham?

[crazylegs]

Then maybe you should change your name to Fishat?

Maybe Anqet would be more in keeping with the previous style?

[Broomjockey]

I swim underwater.

Wait, if ducks are fish, and ducks float because they're made of wood, and then ducks and witches both weigh the same...that would make you...

A fishwich?

[greensinestro]

See, I would have done what Publix does. If I was working, I would have sliced a sample of each, then had her taste them so she would know which is ham, and which is corned beef. Also, Publix sells pre-sliced cheeses and meats, so maybe it's possible this ditz thought all of these foods came that way. Makes you wonder why she would visit the deli and not the cooler.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

What's the difference between a duck?

One leg is both the same.

[JuniorMintz]

Wait, if ducks are fish, and ducks float because they're made of wood, and then ducks and witches both weigh the same...that would make you...

A fishwich?

BWAHAHAHA!

You win the entire thread!

[RayvenQ]

Wait, if ducks are fish, and ducks float because they're made of wood, and then ducks and witches both weigh the same...that would make you...

A fishwich?

It would probably depend on how much better you got after being turned into a newt

[d962831]

...
*brightly* "Okay!" *slices entirety of one ham, weighs, labels, etc. gives to ditz* "There you go, there's some ham!"

at which point she'll probably say, "Oh no! That's not the kind I wanted!"

[edible_hat]

She wanted the kosher kind of ham.

[Imogene]

What's the difference between a duck?

Sounds like the "Why'd the chicken" jokes I used to tell when extremely young, according to my parents.
The answer was usually, "Purple!"

[Kyree]

She wanted the kosher kind of ham.

You have NO IDEA how many people ask me for that. And are serious.

[Broomjockey]

She wanted the kosher kind of ham.

Fine, if I can't have the ham, gimme some bacon.

[Dreamstalker]

Ok - so that's one vote from Juwl for slicing the ENTIRE ham and handing it to her.

My vote is to cut ONE slice of ham and throw it at her.

Or throw the entire ham...she did say it came sliced, but not that she wanted it sliced (I love semantic loopholes )

[XCashier]

You guys are cracking me up.

I feel like I just wandered into a Monty Python skit.

Well, you know they're all wrong, it's Spam.

♫ Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam... ♫

[mattm04]

She wanted the kosher kind of ham.

I had one lady demand that I sell her our Kosher Ham. I was just cleaning a spill on the floor at the fartnest point from deli. I told her that Ham CAN NOT BE KOSHER AS IT IS FROM A PIG. About 10 minute later the deli pages the MOD for customer assistance. She argued with the MOD and eventually left. A few days later we got a complaint that we didn't warn her, a life long Jew, that ham is not Kosher.

[HawaiianShirts]

With all this discussion of meat, I wonder if something fishy... I mean ducky is going on here.

Actually, I wanted to reply to this thread with just these words: "But we have sausage in the freezer at home..." but then I realized that came from an experience I had with a couple of former roommates and that no one on this board would get it. It was really funny, though! Roommate K's girlfriend actually fell on the ground laughing at us in the grocery store where it happened!

DW: *Walks up to the counter, and points to the Corned Beef.* Is that ham?

Me: No, it's not. The-

DW: So you don't have any ham?

Me: ....(Strike one. You cut me off and ask me that moronic of a question all in one sentence.)

Ooh! That annoys me SO much! And I get it all the time!

SC: Why is this computer more expensive than that one?
Me: Because this one ha--
SC: Does this one have wireless?
Me: Yes, all the lapto--
SC: Do you have this other model from this other store in a different color than what they've got?

Let me answer your question before moving on or making stupid assumptions! Argh!

I actually managed to start saying random, nonsensical stuff in response to one woman's inane interrogation (like "That's a USB coffee port," or "Cow says moo," or "You're ignoring everything I say, aren't you?"), and she never noticed.