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<off-topic> Laser Pointers! Best. Cat toy. Ever!</off-topic>
Back on topic. We get a different version of the same thing in the OP.
Someone calls to see if they qualify for a free update. After the usual argument about how they are out of luck because they last bought something four years ago, we will quote them the price. In most cases it is about $300.
Then they feel that since they don't want all the new features, that they shouldn't have to pay for them all. That's always a fun one, but usually very easy to defeat by acting as if we don't care whether they buy it or not. (We truly don't care; if a customer feels that the update isn't worth $300 to him, he has the choice not to buy it and we'll understand. Plenty of other customers will choose to buy it.) The funnest one happened to Mark on one of his snarky days. He was Snarky Mark.
What happened with this guy was that he updated to Word 2000 from Word '97. The version of our software he had was made in '96 and did not import Word 2000 files. If he wanted to import those, he either had to buy the update or he could save his Word 2000 files as Word '97 files before importing them and not buy the update; his choice. This happened a while ago and I only heard one side, but the gist of Snarky Mark's side went like this:
"We aren't forcing you to buy anything. You have the option of saving them as Word '97..."
"Yes. I appreciate that you paid for Word 2000 and don't want to keep using Word '97..."
"Well, then, buy the update..."
"No. We can't do that..."
"Because you either buy the whole update or you don't..."
"What?!"
"Just out of curiousity, how much do you think you should pay?"
"[chuckling] Um. That's not possible. We can't just make a version for you with only one feature."
"Because we don't make custom software for $50."
"OK. Fine. I'll ask."
At that point he came over to my boss's desk and ranted about the cheap jerk on the other end of the phone. He asked the boss for an estimate for making a custom version of the update with JUST the Word 2000 importer. The boss gave him an estimate and Mark went back to the caller, who, unfortunately was still on hold.
"OK. I talked to Keith, the owner. We charge $500 per hour for custom programming and he estimates it will take ten hours to create a special version just for you. We will require $2500 up front and the rest of the balance, another $2500, upon delivery. Since all of our programmers are currently working on higher-priority projects, we won't be able to begin work on this until 6 months from now..."
"Well, yes, I agree. It would be outrageous to pay $5000 and wait six months for something you could have for $300 right now..."
"I understand. We'll be here if you change your mind. Have a nice day..."
[hangs up and yells at the phone] "Have a nice life, cheap-o."
Back on topic. We get a different version of the same thing in the OP.
Someone calls to see if they qualify for a free update. After the usual argument about how they are out of luck because they last bought something four years ago, we will quote them the price. In most cases it is about $300.
Then they feel that since they don't want all the new features, that they shouldn't have to pay for them all. That's always a fun one, but usually very easy to defeat by acting as if we don't care whether they buy it or not. (We truly don't care; if a customer feels that the update isn't worth $300 to him, he has the choice not to buy it and we'll understand. Plenty of other customers will choose to buy it.) The funnest one happened to Mark on one of his snarky days. He was Snarky Mark.
What happened with this guy was that he updated to Word 2000 from Word '97. The version of our software he had was made in '96 and did not import Word 2000 files. If he wanted to import those, he either had to buy the update or he could save his Word 2000 files as Word '97 files before importing them and not buy the update; his choice. This happened a while ago and I only heard one side, but the gist of Snarky Mark's side went like this:
"We aren't forcing you to buy anything. You have the option of saving them as Word '97..."
"Yes. I appreciate that you paid for Word 2000 and don't want to keep using Word '97..."
"Well, then, buy the update..."
"No. We can't do that..."
"Because you either buy the whole update or you don't..."
"What?!"
"Just out of curiousity, how much do you think you should pay?"
"[chuckling] Um. That's not possible. We can't just make a version for you with only one feature."
"Because we don't make custom software for $50."
"OK. Fine. I'll ask."
At that point he came over to my boss's desk and ranted about the cheap jerk on the other end of the phone. He asked the boss for an estimate for making a custom version of the update with JUST the Word 2000 importer. The boss gave him an estimate and Mark went back to the caller, who, unfortunately was still on hold.
"OK. I talked to Keith, the owner. We charge $500 per hour for custom programming and he estimates it will take ten hours to create a special version just for you. We will require $2500 up front and the rest of the balance, another $2500, upon delivery. Since all of our programmers are currently working on higher-priority projects, we won't be able to begin work on this until 6 months from now..."
"Well, yes, I agree. It would be outrageous to pay $5000 and wait six months for something you could have for $300 right now..."
"I understand. We'll be here if you change your mind. Have a nice day..."
[hangs up and yells at the phone] "Have a nice life, cheap-o."
Been a programmer's manager, I heard this alot. Not just from cheap customers, but from sales guys too.
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