Loss Prevention Karma

[allegrasparkle]

Since I'm on the Conference Call that will not end, I thought I'd submit this. Everyone into the way-back machine.


I was working at rough downtown department store, shoplifting all the time, weekly domestic disturbances in the store, shooing drunks out. Great Times!!!

I'm there with my boss and Big Boss. We are doing a tour of the store and a audit. We spot a frequent flyer at this store and lo and behold he pulls a shopping bag out of his pants and loads up on jeans.

We go to stop him and do our usual spiel Mr. Shoplifter looks at me (5'7 140 female), looks at Big Boss (Large Man 6'4 250 of muscle), my boss (6'3 same build, male). Then he looks back at me and punches me in the face.

At this point my bosses "Assist" him into the prone position and we transpart him to the office wearing some new silver bracelets. (Hold on it gets better)

We process him and call the cops. The responding officer...... MY FATHER We father unit walks in I can see him boss and Big boss do not see him Boss does not understand why I am giggling. He turns and looks at my dad and reads his name tag, boss begins giggling. Big Boss is confused and explains the situation to Father. Father looks at my face and examines the growing black eye and give the scary scary look and voice that only a retired Marine DI/ Police Officer/ protective father and asks him, "So you like hitting women?". Big Boss now nows that he his my father and begins giggling.

To prevent issues my father had another office transport shoplifter, however I was told that (not advocating violence) that the shoplifter "fell" more than once.


I love my dad.

Anyone else got some good Shoplifting Karma tales?

[fish3k1]

Well, this isn't about shoplifting and it's not one of mine, but your story brought it to mind...

One of my best friend's brother is a policeman, and a damn good one at that. He'd gone out on a bust with his sergeant, gone into the house to arrest this guy they had a warrant for. Find the guy in his living room, drugs all over the place, used heroin spoons etc. etc.

Now my friend is about 5'6". He's also the tallest guy in his family. His brother, K, reads the guy his rights.

Douchnozzle headbutts K.

Sergeant asks him if he's ok, hand on truncheon, K just says he's fine (his eye swelling up), let's just get douchenozzle to the station and put him away.

Sergeant says something to the effect of "Fuck that, no-one does that to one of my officers" and lamps the guy before cuffing him.

'Resisting arrest' or something similar.
There were also, so I understand, many low ceilings on the very narrow staircase on the way down the very narrow stairs.

K Said he felt sorry for the guy by the time they got him to the car.

I'm not advocating his actions... but I'm also not going to say I didn't laugh when I heard this story

[Andara Bledin]

No shoplifter tales, here.

But I do have a tale of an excessively drunk rennie-wannabe who decided it would be a great idea to run around waving his sword all over the place at three in the morning.

He 'fell down' a lot while being assisted away from everyone.

....

Then there's the waste of flesh that used to live across from me. He was a little punk who liked to mouth off to the police, beat up his girlfriend, and steal anything that wasn't nailed down. He actually punched his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach several times once in an effort to make her miscarry.

He somehow managed to hang himself in his jail cell, even though he was partially paralyzed after the beating he'd gotten when he was arrested.

I don't approve of that sort of thing at all.

But he wasn't missed.

^-.-^

[Lady Legira]

I heard this from another member of my Dept who went to the front of store to get something signed.

As she reached the front she noticed the manager was busy and started waiting and gazed outside only to see a regular shoplifter knocked over by a cyclist (only his dignity was hurt). She got her paywork signed and laughed all the way back to our Dept. Karma is awesome.

[bainsidhe]

I was working at rough downtown department store, shoplifting all the time

Sorry, but the way I read this made it sound like you were doing the shoplifting. I did a double take, reread, and had a good chuckle.

Punch in the face? Holy crap

[allegrasparkle]

Sorry my fault, I was doing several things at once, not very well.

[allniter]

To prevent issues my father had another office transport shoplifter, however I was told that (not advocating violence) that the shoplifter "fell" more than once.

I love my dad.

God Bless your father and all the other Dad's and cops out there who know how to land a few blows for the little guy.

It's sad that so many people would think the guy deserves not to get bum punched in prison for his behavior. Pussies.

[Raieth]

My friend works at a mental health prison and when one of the inmate/patients does something really stupid (like try to rape one of the health care workers). They tend to be "combatave" and "clumsy". They also have a tendency to "fall" onto the guards boots.

It's all in how you tell it The official term there is "Creative Charting"

[Evil Queen]

Aw, what a nice story.

[computeraide]

Off-Topic

This is also off-topic, but in the past couple years in my hometown there was a toddler who was slain by the boyfriend of his mother.

A cousin of the child's father had a warrant out for his arrest on totally unrelated charges. The cousin knew the (alleged) murderer was in the city jail lockup, so he turned himself in, in the hopes he would be placed in the same lockup with the boyfriend.

One can only hope he got his wish and shared a cell with the heinous scumbucket all weekend.

[The boyfriend has since been found guilty of the crime.]

[chainedbarista]

It's sad that so many people would think the guy deserves not to get bum punched in prison for his behavior. Pussies.

i'm getting a vibe predicting this one's future:

it tells me he'll see more action than just punching; he'll be the 'belle' of the greywall ball.

ahh, karma; you're such a bitchy dame, but i love you anyway.

[Plaidman]

I have more then a few, though I do have a few favorites, all involving beer runs.

One ran into two plainclothes cops on his way out. (Obviously underage beer runner at that).

Two: I saw this one coming. Nether saw me lock the door. Nether saw me advance on them. Both outran me. One slammed into the door and his friend slammed into him.

Three: Group of people very drunk. I refuse to sell them. They decide to steal six pack of beer. They are so drunk that they put the car forward, go over the cement tiles. As I'm giving description to police, they finally get off the tile. They drive fast around corner. Everyone in the store, including police dispatch ALL heard the resounding crash as they slammed into a tree at high speed. Thankfully no-one was hurt. The driver ran in, slammed the beer on the counter, ran back out, attempted to drive off leaving the owner of the car crying and shaken at the site. The driver got about four blocks before the car finally died. I'm talking to offiers and paramedics who arrived. Driver for some reason decided to come back. I pointed to her. Cops asked her. She admited yes she was the driver.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

No shoplifter tales, here.

But I do have a tale of an excessively drunk rennie-wannabe who decided it would be a great idea to run around waving his sword all over the place at three in the morning.

He 'fell down' a lot while being assisted away from everyone.


^-.-^

That happens sometimes in the SCA, too. Guys who don't know how to act like human beings tend to fall a lot. Clumsy. Nobody ever seems to be looking at them when it happens, either.

Funny, that.

[Emrld]

my favorite game - how drunk is he?
At Renn Fair in bodice it is really fun to find the males who don't have all cylinders firing . . .drinking beer in the Texas Sun.
(as in the are drinking, no food in stomach, outside in the sun - can we say speed up the process of being trashed)
Anyway they will be stumbling around and there is a group of us that can *ahem* fill a bodice - we will see these bodies stumbling around . . . bend a little to give perspective . . .and watch them stumble and fall over tree trunks while loudly proclaiming to their fellow adult beverage enjoyers . . . "I see boobies" While pointing at the same time. Of course you get a higher score when they spill beer and even higher when they try to point with said beverage vessel.

[mattm04]

Once we had a shoplifter run out of the store, only to run, at full speed, into a cruiser parked out front. Another store had call the PD to remove some skateboarders from their store.