Much Ado About Dumpsters

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Ah, band camp. Those were the days. The place where cereal, salad, and soft serve were the only edible foods. The place where the band director could sing about someone's balls to the tune of "A Whole New World." And, of course, the place where you could give someone 9 chocolate laxatives and they wouldn't have any effect.

Yes, good times there.

And this one time...at band camp...

Oh come on! Someone had to do it!

[smileyeagle1021]

The place where the band director could sing about someone's balls to the tune of "A Whole New World."
.

I can beat that... my band director convinced the super intendant at the county to use one of his songs as the official school district song... he later confided to us that the song was inspired by one of his beagles taking a shit


though if you have recording of your director singing that please post it (pretty please)

[PhiSigGirl1988]

Haha, very nice.

Unfortunately, I do not have a recording of it. It was just a couple of lines. The situation went like this (for the record, we were doing a Disney show that year, and "A Whole New World" was one of our songs):

The band moms would go and take Meijer trips for us. We'd write down what we needed, give them the money, and they'd go buy what we needed.

So the moms came back, and one of them steps up and shouts "I got the Gold Bond for the person who needed it!"

One of the kids, who was known for being obnoxious, steps up and shouts "Yeah! Gold Bond rocks!"

At this point, the director starts singing "Unbelievable chafe, indescribable itching..."

[Aethian]

Funny I use Gold Bond in my work shoes...keeps my toes dry.

[Reyneth]

I'm serious too, I wrote a whole farkin' book with illustrations about the various things I could train my feline minions to do. ><

And now that you have one, your dearest wish is to train it not to puncture and scratch your delicate outer covering, no? How's THAT one going?

My cat can at least open cupboard doors so she can hide after causing mass destruction.

[RootedPhoenix]

Yes, that would be the version Billy Shakes wrote for his homies in the East End.

I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes.

[Becks]

A makes their shingles out of the skin of newborn puppies and B’s roofing tiles cause herpes.

Tough choice.

Maybe we all just want salt licks?

For years, I've been threatening to get my Mommy a salt like for her birthday.

[atomicthumbs]

You must write a book and make much money from your wit. A wit like yours can sell millions.

[jerkface11]

I realize I've probably been up too long but does Gold Bond have salt in it?

[NightWatch]

I realize I've probably been up too long but does Gold Bond have salt in it?

And you take the cake for capping the nights most useless discussion on salt. I love you. haha!

[Ninja Chocobo]

Whereas my entire understanding of the legal system is based mainly on Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.

Shout! Point your finger! Show everything to everyone, especially your attorney's badge! And wait for the ghost of your dead mentor to show up and sort out everything for you, again!
I love those games.

If you say shenanigans one more time... (this is an easy one, but a cookie if you can name that movie!)

Sounds like Super Troopers to me.
("I swear to God I'm gonna pistol-whip the next guy that says shenanigans")

[Gravekeeper]

Shout! Point your finger! Show everything to everyone, especially your attorney's badge!

My favourite was surprise evidence. You never have to reveal what evidence you have to the court or the prosecutor and all evidence is submissiable even if you stole it from the crime scene while the police weren't looking.

In fact the majority of your evidence came from stealing it from crime scenes. Anything was free game long as you found it first.

[marty]

In fact the majority of your evidence came from stealing it from crime scenes. Anything was free game long as you found it first.

OBJECTION!

[Evil Queen]

I personally prefer to say scout camp...

Girl Scout Camp
Girl Scout Camp!

The busses that they have there,
they say are mighty fine,
But when they turn a corner,
they leave a wheel behind.

Oh, I don’t want to go to Girl Scout Camp.
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
but they won’t let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The leaders that they have there,
they say are mighty fine,
But when you get a closer look,
they look like frankenstein.

Oh, I don’t want to go to Girl Scout Camp.
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
but they won’t let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The first aid that they give you,
they say is mighty fine,
But if you cut your finger,
you’re left with only nine.

Oh, I don’t want to go to Girl Scout Camp.
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
but they won’t let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The water that they have there
they say is mighty fine,
But when you take a drink of it,
it tastes like turpentine.

Oh, I don’t want to go to Girl Scout Camp.
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
but they won’t let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The biscuits that they have there,
they say are mighty fine,
But one rolled off the table
and killed a friend of mine.

Oh, I don’t want to go to Girl Scout Camp.
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
but they won’t let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

The spaghetti that they serve you,
they say is mighty fine
They rinse it the toilet
and drain it on the line.

Oh, I don’t want to go to Girl Scout Camp.
Gee, Mom, I want to go,
but they won’t let me go;
Gee, Mom, I want to go home.

[cawaker]

haha holy crap GK you have the art of snark down pat. its god-like.