The little BLT that couldn't. (Or, the tale of the Fuckwit who cried "RAW!")

[cloudiko]

*sigh* Just when I thought I had been dealt my fair share of sucky, dumbwit asshats, the universe decides to hand me more. Thus, the glorious tales from this week:


I'm going to smack you in the face with the limp bacon from your BLT

While working in the smoking section of the Pit, I was talking to a customer who needed some change so he could play the lottery machines. Once I have retrieved the man's money, he goes along his merry way and I start to head out the double doors to the rest of the Pit to wait on my other tables. And then....

Fuckwit Woman: (FW): EXCUSE ME!
Me: *turns around, looks at the idiot* Yes ma'am, what do you need?
FW: This sandwich is UNACCEPTABLE!
Me: What do you mean?
FW: This bacon is RAW! How dare you try and feed me a sandwich with RAW bacon! This is disgusting, I can't eat this, how dare you try and poison me, I'm a paying customer!
Me: Um...your bacon is raw?
FW: YES! Didn't you hear me? My bacon is SEVERELY undercooked. I am going to get poisoning and die from your cook's mistake. This is unacceptable! *Starts to put sandwich on a napkin - making a face like she's handling poop*
Me: Um, is it really raw, or is it just too limp for your liking?
FW: *rips top off of sandwich - to reveal two perfectly cooked and crisp pieces of bacon on her poor BLT* This is RAW!
Me: It actually looks, at the worst, a little limp.
FW: Are you saying I'm wrong?
Me: I'm saying that it isn't raw. It looks limp at best. *starts to make a break for the computer terminal in the back* But, I will have the cook remake the sandwich for you.
FW: Are you saying I'm wrong?
Me: I'm going to have the cook remake it for you, it will be five minutes or so.

*blessed silence*

Me: *starts to make a break for the doors again*
FW: Waitress!
Me: *turns around again, only to have FW thrust her sandwich into my unsuspecting hands*
FW: Get rid of this! *shudders*
Me: Um....what am I supposed to do with this?
FW: You heard me, go get rid of it! Or keep it to feed to your dog or something.
Me: I wouldn't give my dog people food.
FW: I -
Me: It would cut years off of her life. You know, pork + dogs = bad plan.
FW: I don't care, just get rid of it!!
Me: *leaves, holding sandwich in my hands*

Poor, poor little BLT sandwich. It didn't deserve such abuse.


Egg Debacle

At least ten times a shift, a conversation like this occurs:

Me: And how would you like your eggs cooked?
Fucktard: Uuuhhhh....you know, well done?
Me: Nice try, but I have no idea what you mean.
Fucktard: Uh, how about like *points at picture of a steak*?
Me: That's a steak, which isn't anywhere close to an egg.
Fucktard: How about all mixed up?
Me: You mean scrambled?
Fucktard: *blank look*
Me: You know, where the egg is all mixed up.
Fucktard: *blank*
Me: *grabs menu, flips to page where there's a picture of a platter with scrambled eggs* You mean like that?
Fucktard: YES!
Me: Thank god.

Each time I ask, I die a little on the inside.


I had more, but I'm starting to get sleepy from a night full of dealing with idiots. At least today is my Friday. That makes me smile a little.

[friendofjimmyk]

Poor, poor little BLT sandwich. It didn't deserve such abuse.


.

For some reason, I thought that was REALLY funny! I pictured a charity drive for that bacon!!

[Fro]

Awwww bacon should never be abused. It deserves to be devoured with glee.

I would've totally put aside the rejected sammiches for later appreciation

The eggs person broke my brain. Who confuses steak with eggs? I mean come on, delicious cow flesh doesn't equal tasty chicken periods.

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

close[/I] to an egg.
Fucktard: How about all mixed up?
Me: You mean scrambled?
Fucktard: *blank look*
Me: You know, where the egg is all mixed up.
Fucktard: *blank*
Me: *grabs menu, flips to page where there's a picture of a platter with scrambled eggs* You mean like that?
Fucktard: YES!
Me: Thank god.

Each time I ask, I die a little on the inside.

I'll bet a conversation with this guy involving the option of pancakes or waffles would be REALLY entertaining.

[Becks]

I'd give that BLT a good home.

Unless it had mayo on it.

[AdminAssistant]

mmmm..bacon.

I may have to do a 'breakfast for dinner' tonight, just for the tasty tasty bacon.

[Megg]

I would just like to note, thanks to this thread, I just had the most amazing BLT. So thanks for the idea!

That woman is an idiot who needs to be fed to pigs. Oh, wait, that would contaminate my delicious bacon!

[Sarlon]

The eggs person broke my brain. Who confuses steak with eggs? I mean come on, delicious cow flesh doesn't equal tasty chicken periods.

I don't know wether to or ....

mmmm cow flesh....

[BookstoreEscapee]

Thanks, Fro, I think you've ruined eggs for me (for a little while, anyway).

Personally I hate BLTs (well, really it's the T part) but I can tell the difference between raw and cooked bacon.

[Gabrielle Proctor]

I'd give that BLT a good home.

Unless it had mayo on it.

I think I'll make a BLT now, with ceasar dressing instead of mayo. I think that would be better. mmmmmmmmmm...BLT....

[wanderingjoe72]

Best is to keep a box of precooked bacon in the fridge, when you need a fix, pop a few slices in the micro and tada! Bacony goodness.

Bacon salt also goes a long way to soothe the need.

[freeatlast]

OK - I was just sitting here wondering what to have for supper. Guess its gonna be scrambled eggs and bacon. Loves my breakfast for supper nights.

[powerboy]

You can keep your lousy bacon. I can have a small bit of it, but not to much

[DGoddessChardonnay]

For some reason, I thought that was REALLY funny! I pictured a charity drive for that bacon!!

In that case, we'll call Jerry Lewis and he can hold a telethon over the weekend. . .

All I can say about the OP is . . . some people's children.

[XCashier]

Egg Debacle

At least ten times a shift, a conversation like this occurs:

Me: And how would you like your eggs cooked?
Fucktard: Uuuhhhh....you know, well done?
Me: Nice try, but I have no idea what you mean.
Fucktard: Uh, how about like *points at picture of a steak*?
Me: That's a steak, which isn't anywhere close to an egg.
Fucktard: How about all mixed up?
Me: You mean scrambled?
Fucktard: *blank look*
Me: You know, where the egg is all mixed up.
Fucktard: *blank*
Me: *grabs menu, flips to page where there's a picture of a platter with scrambled eggs* You mean like that?
Fucktard: YES!
Me: Thank god.

"Would you like some nice lox to go with your scrambled eggs?" Dang, just reading this gave me an idiot-induced headache, I can only imagine how you felt dealing with it in person!

Loves my breakfast for supper nights.

Breakfast For Dinner rules! And so do BLTs. Cloudiko's customers, on the other hand...