Open Mike Night at the Local Improv?

[Jester]

Breaking something:

You missed my favorite one. Someone drops something in a restaurant, and breaks it, I automatically go "JOB OPENING!" To be fair, I do that as much at my job as anywhere else.

Of course, if I'M the one that broke something, when everyone looks around, I will very theatrically take a bow.

Don't you just LOVE winter?

I do, but then again, I live in the tropics.

Common sense should tell anyone that hey, the store's pretty busy so I bet this guy's heard the same thing 100 times before so I'll just keep my mouth shut.

The great thing about being me is I can say what most people can't and still make people laugh. No, not the "if it didn't scan it's free" nonsense, but I can get away with a lot of cracks that most people can't.

It's good to be the natural comedian.

Or is that "the obvious joke"? Hmmm, something to ponder.....

[smileyeagle1021]

First things first, Khiras, I want that customer as a guest, I would love to play that game

Of course, if I'M the one that broke something, when everyone looks around, I will very theatrically take a bow.

Sounds like when I worked at National Car Rental... anytime we dented a car in front of our coworkers (scarily it was kinda common, 99.9% of the time it was small stuff that was easily popped out though) we had to get out of the car and take a bow while our coworkers clapped

I've done similar at the hotel too bringing a box of key card holders down from the upstairs store room (why they are even up there when they are used exclusively at the front desk is a mystery) dropping the box while I'm going down the stairs, run down the bottom of the stairs, pick up the box and do a theatrical box holding the box

[Kirkygirl]

I'm sorely missing those Wet Coast winters right about now.

Why are you putting 'two week' in the same sentence as 'vacation'? I'm not entirely sure what a vacation IS, never mind comprehending one that lasts two whole weeks!

Well I'm having a 2 week vacation because I'm going to school for 27.5 months. The semesters are going to be year round; I'm having a 15-16 week semester, then two weeks off, then another semester. So I won't be able to really go and have too much fun during that time because I will be working. I'm also taking a two week vacation because I have not had a decent stretch of time off since April of 2007, and I wanna have some fun before the madness of the holiday season approaches.

Oh in regards to the lack of West Coast winters, my "Flaming" friend....

NAH NAH!

The great thing about being me is I can say what most people can't and still make people laugh. No, not the "if it didn't scan it's free" nonsense, but I can get away with a lot of cracks that most people can't.

If people are stupid enough to give me that dumb line, I say this:

"It's only free IF you can run from the RCMP AND you manage to hide from them."


This usually shuts 'em up reaaaal quick.

(note: the RCMP detatchment in my town has really physically strong cops with great endurance. They've done Cops for Cancer rides.)

[BoxGirl]

How many *insert name of store* employees does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. The rest are busy burying the bodies of smart-asses like you.

[Rapscallion]

(note: the RCMP detatchment in my town has really physically strong cops with great endurance. They've done Cops for Cancer rides.)

Wouldn't 'cops against cancer' be more appropriate?

Rapscallion

[Imogene]

Me: .....................er..........clever retort?

Yes, yes it was. Good job, and highly ironic.
I've never been good at figuring out irony/coincidence, don't hurt me!

[the toy guy]

How many *insert name of store* employees does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: one to change the bulb, and one to deal with idiots who think they're funny.