Lots of SCs (long)

[Seraph]

Bunch of short stories this week.


THE AAAANNNNGST

Got an amusing email this week through the contact form on my website:

obviouslyfakeemail@obviouslyfakeaswell.com

i hate you you suck why do all your design suk so bad. you **** you need to DIE hahaha yur a total loser who cant design at all haha

ps you shouldnt even call yourself a designer you suck

I think I know who sent it...and it was someone who I refused to do a project for. They insisted I take on the job since I was "the best they knew of" but I'd had some run-ins with them before and said no. Tis amusing they got so mad, though.

OutOfMyWayNowMyGodINeedItNOWNOWNAOOOO...including smartarse cashier!

Went to Kroger's to pick up some groceries and it was PACKED with people! College towns are so much fuuuun!

I grab the few items I need, notice the express lanes are jammed with people with full carts (one girl had, I kid you not, TWO carts of stuff she was bringing through) and decide to use the self-checkouts. Now at most stores, I can expedite the process by swiping my credit card without having to hit the "Pay By Card > Credit Card > Yes I Want To Pay By The Darn Card JUST TAKE IT" button series. I hit Finish Shopping, swipe...and wait. Meanwhile, cashier boy at the end starts gnawing on his lip and stares into space.

I look at screen, look back at him, look at the thing and it says "waiting for cashier". I wait a minute more and then say "Hey, uh, waiting on you a bit here...can you hit the button?"

He rolled his head towards me, grins, and says "You didn't hit the button"

"Uhhh...don't really need to, I already selected it as a Credit payment on the card swiper"

<grin> "But I say you need to hit the button. Aaaand until then...see ya." <recommence staring>



I hold my temper, press the buttons, and look back at him. He smirks and says "Now that wasn't soooo hard, was it, doll?" What the bloody blazes...took a lot of self-control to not blast him right there.

So I start to pack up my bags, and waiting on the transaction to approve, when I suddenly hear binging and the cart jams into my hip.

SUPRIIIISE! Impatient College Girl, who was behind me in line, is shoving my cart out of her way, and into my hip, and cursing a blue streak as she tries to scan her items. Note, my stuff is STILL UP THERE. I move the cart off of me, point at my stuff and say "Hey, I've still got to bag my stuff and get my receipt, I'll be done in a minute."

As I turn around, she snarls to my back "Hurry up, *ITCH! I've got a party to go to!"

Oh no you did not. I turn back to her.

"Okay, I've had it up to here with dealing with rude people tonight. I am most DEFINITELY not going to take it anymore. Now, you take your items OFF THE SCANNER and give me the ONE MINUTE I'll need to bag this stuff up, or I swear, sweetie, I'll help you put away your groceries. And you're not going to like where I put them."

I turn back, and finish bagging. Out of my peripheral vision I can see her face in a Even SmartArse Cashier Boi was agape. I load the stuff into the cart, say "Thank you, have a nice evening." and walk out.

Short and Sweet Pwnage

Customer's Email: Sorry, but after all of this, I have decided to go with someone else. In fact, I decided this a ccouple days ago. You simply did not hurry up fast enough to do it and you were not at the degree I expected of you. a mockup after three days? I expected it all done. Good day.

Response: Hi, thanks for your email. As I mentioned to you before, you hired me the day before Thanksgiving, as I was heading out of town to be with family. I do sincerely apologize if you honestly wanted me to bring my laptop to the table so I could work...I was just worried that cranberry sauce might sticky up the keys...or that the in-laws would not take kindly to the tik-tak of keys during the meal's grace. I do apologize that our service was not what you expected, but I do recommend that in the future if you have a project with similar constraints, that you ask God to be your project manager. I hear he's a whiz with Photoshop.



----

....Its been an interesting few days. <_<

[sprocket79]

What is it with people who think that designing/coding web sites is so simple that it can be done in a couple hours? Yeah sure, anyone with a rudimentary understanding of HTML can make a web site in a couple of hours - it's just going to suck. Quality takes time! When I professionally made web sites it could take a couple of months to finish a project. Although I mostly did corporate sites with hundreds of pages. Still, small projects can take at least a month from beginning to end (mostly waiting on client approval). I totally feel your pain.

One of my former managers had a poster up in his office that we basically lived by: Fast, Good, Cheap: Pick any 2. If the guy wanted you to work over Thanksgiving, he better have been paying through the nose.

BTW - I doubt he can afford God. He charges too much per hour.

[IT Grunt]

Response: Hi, thanks for your email. As I mentioned to you before, you hired me the day before Thanksgiving, as I was heading out of town to be with family. I do sincerely apologize if you honestly wanted me to bring my laptop to the table so I could work...I was just worried that cranberry sauce might sticky up the keys...or that the in-laws would not take kindly to the tik-tak of keys during the meal's grace. I do apologize that our service was not what you expected, but I do recommend that in the future if you have a project with similar constraints, that you ask God to be your project manager. I hear he's a whiz with Photoshop.

Pwned!

Some people to this day continue to have the expectation that computers are these magical devices that can do anything you want with the press of a button. They simply do not grasp the idea that a lot of work went into making them do what they already do, and if you put garbage in, you get garbage out. My co-worker related the story of a manager who used to work with him years ago who wanted a new order tracking/shipping type system. When asked how long it would take, my co-worker related an accurate estimate of at least six months, given the state of the tech at the time. The manager insisted on a week. Why? Because he'd seen it on TV that you just press a few keys and bingo! It does what you want!

[prb]

Your contact form doesn't send the users IP address? Might want to include it.

[wagegoth]

Nice pwnage on the non-client. One advantage of having your own business.


As to the Kroger's clerk, definitely report him. If he behaves that way with you, he's bound to have done it to someone else.

[Onar]

As to the Kroger's clerk, definitely report him. If he behaves that way with you, he's bound to have done it to someone else.

Seconded. A-Hole attitudes should not be tolerated. Especially since it could be construed as harassment given the "Doll" comment to go with the rest.

[Seraph]

Your contact form doesn't send the users IP address? Might want to include it.

It does, and it tracked to a proxy. But the timing was too coincidental to be anyone else.


As for the Kroger's dude, I just may do that...saw him there again tonight when I went to pick up some sherbert...he was hiding behind some boxes in an aisle watching this one girl. <shudder> I came right up behind him and he scrambled away. <shudder shudder>

[SG15Z]

Now of course I don't agree with how the attendant treated you at Kroger but I understand where he's coming form. At SCO we here the "It's waiting for you" probably 30 million times per shift. When all it's waiting for is for the cutomer to finish pushing the buttons on the main screen. It's like this when it say "waiting for cashier" think of it this way. You are the cashier, which means it's waiting for you to do something.

But still the attendant was wrong in his actions and personally I think the attendant you dealt with must have reached his breaking point on that paticular common issue. I know I almost did the other day.

[ralerin]

Kroger's clerk did suck. Even though I get pissed off with people who put away the pen in the middle of a debit transaction (which happens at least eleventy million times per day!), I at least say "Please enter in your cash back and then please hit the yes button on the next screen." It doesn't hurt to say please.

And to him watching some girl. How old is he? How old was the girl?

[smileyeagle1021]

And to him watching some girl. How old is he? How old was the girl?

playing devils advocate...
I'd say just looking at the girl isn't sucky... I'll admit to "gazing" at some of the more attractive guests we get... but if he was learing at her or eyes glazed over drooling it doesn't matter what the ages are, that's creepy and unprofessional... looking, eh, everyone does it to some extent.

[calulu]

Seraph, I totally get what you're saying. I have done graphic design and websites as a sideline for many years now. People that don't understand the nature of how long it takes tend to act like twatwaffles about it. The above mentioned situations are why I stopped doing it and went to work for Flowers O Suck.

What do you do for payment? All up front? Half up front? Or payment due at the end of the project?

That used to be my most sticky wicket unless I got paid fully upfront. You'd get people that would 'forget' to pay in full or would pay for awhile and then say money was too tight to keep paying the agreed upon sum. I got where it was payment upfront for a minimum of two years before the site went up.

Once a business owner paid me half upfront, I did the site, billed him for the rest and he never paid. A month later one of the bigger 'marketing agencies' contacted me for the password to the domain name as they'd been hired to take it over. I contacted the business owner and asked him why he hadn't told me he was unsatisfied with the work so that I could change it. We'd agreed on everything, the site was exactly as ordered and he'd approved all the mockups. He said, and I quote, "Well so-n-so said that they could double my business with the website their ad agency could put together." I ended up suing him for the remainder owed and took down his site and refused to hand over the domain name (registered to my business, not his) and I posted in glaring blinking red letters "So-N-So Business Site Disabled For Non-Payment!"

[Arm]

niiiice, Calulu

My biggest gripe is people who have no idea what they even want- too many people want their site to be a social networking site... and as soon as someone even mentions 'web 2.0' you know they're going to be crap to work with.

Seraph, as someone who works with a graphic designer, I feel your pain- by proxy, at least- and you have my sympathy. We get a lot of that as well.

[calulu]

Ugh, just getting them to make a decision about something as simple as a background color scheme or motif is like pulling teeth. I like design, I hated dealing with the clients.

[persephone]

It's like this when it say "waiting for cashier" think of it this way. You are the cashier, which means it's waiting for you to do something.

Really? I would love to find that magical button then!! I'm forever getting the "waiting for cashier" with nothing but that on the screen -- nothing for me to push or press or anything. I don't remember what I'm doing at the moment that causes it, but I swear it's at least once during every check out. Any suggestions on how to make it go away?

[Seraph]

What do you do for payment? All up front? Half up front? Or payment due at the end of the project?

I usually do a third down upfront if it's a client I trust, otherwise it's fifty or full. I only have a select few clients (read: three) that I just flat out start working when they say, because they always tend to pay before I'm done or right afterwards. I wish all of my clients were like them...