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Today brought the most idiotic braindeads in the world out of the woodworks in droves...
I Robot
Me: Opening spiel, blah, blah, blah, spoken as always ending with my name and asking how I can be of service..
Cranky Old Broad: "Stupid machine! I don't want to speak to a damn machine."
This is followed by some beeping of phone buttons being mashed and the loudly shouted, "Gimme a real person damn robot!"
Me: "Ma'am, I am a 'real' person, now how can I help you today?"
Silence... *crickets chirping* I heard the sounds of confused blinking by COB.
COB: "You sound like a robot." followed by a click.
WTF kind of drugs is she on? One minute our opening message is playing with snazzy music and some chipper female voice telling you about our best sellers, the call flips over to a ringing after the message tells you that you are being transferred to the sales dept, I answer and give a personalized greeting and even say my name and you still think I'm a clattering clanking concoction of diodes, tin plating and computer generated voice?
Dyscalculia
Me and the guy with No Math Skills. . We'd been talking about roses for his girl and he stops me to ask.
GNMS: "How many roses do I get in the half dozen?"
Me: can hardly believe he actually asked me this - "Six, six is a half dozen.."
GNMS: "And how many in a dozen?"
What the hell? He has to be jerking me around. Even a brain dead moron would know if I told you that a half dozen is six then six times two equals a FULL dozen, twelve. But this guy takes dumbness to a new realm. I'd hope he doesn't hold a job that requires him to make change or do math calculations!
Me: "Twelve, there are twelve in a dozen.."
VD Suck Begins Extra Early
Guy calls up and asks me lots of dumb questions pertaining to a Valentines Day special. We're not even taking Valentines Day orders yet and it's never a good idea to take an order going out in over a month because too much can happen, like price changes and availabilities in some areas so I discourage this guy from placing his order today.
Stupid guy has the nerve to start whining, "But I need to place it on layaway and pay a little each week from now to Valentines Day cuz I ain't got no credit card or checking account."
Flowers on layaway? And how did he think he was going to make the cash payments to us? Didn't have a clue..
I'm having a scotch on the rocks tonight.
I Robot
Me: Opening spiel, blah, blah, blah, spoken as always ending with my name and asking how I can be of service..
Cranky Old Broad: "Stupid machine! I don't want to speak to a damn machine."
This is followed by some beeping of phone buttons being mashed and the loudly shouted, "Gimme a real person damn robot!"
Me: "Ma'am, I am a 'real' person, now how can I help you today?"
Silence... *crickets chirping* I heard the sounds of confused blinking by COB.
COB: "You sound like a robot." followed by a click.
WTF kind of drugs is she on? One minute our opening message is playing with snazzy music and some chipper female voice telling you about our best sellers, the call flips over to a ringing after the message tells you that you are being transferred to the sales dept, I answer and give a personalized greeting and even say my name and you still think I'm a clattering clanking concoction of diodes, tin plating and computer generated voice?
Dyscalculia
Me and the guy with No Math Skills. . We'd been talking about roses for his girl and he stops me to ask.
GNMS: "How many roses do I get in the half dozen?"
Me: can hardly believe he actually asked me this - "Six, six is a half dozen.."
GNMS: "And how many in a dozen?"
What the hell? He has to be jerking me around. Even a brain dead moron would know if I told you that a half dozen is six then six times two equals a FULL dozen, twelve. But this guy takes dumbness to a new realm. I'd hope he doesn't hold a job that requires him to make change or do math calculations!
Me: "Twelve, there are twelve in a dozen.."
VD Suck Begins Extra Early
Guy calls up and asks me lots of dumb questions pertaining to a Valentines Day special. We're not even taking Valentines Day orders yet and it's never a good idea to take an order going out in over a month because too much can happen, like price changes and availabilities in some areas so I discourage this guy from placing his order today.
Stupid guy has the nerve to start whining, "But I need to place it on layaway and pay a little each week from now to Valentines Day cuz I ain't got no credit card or checking account."
Flowers on layaway? And how did he think he was going to make the cash payments to us? Didn't have a clue..
I'm having a scotch on the rocks tonight.
"
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