I want a double discount

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: Hi Dave, I rented with you a few years ago and we used to come all the time but we had a horrific experience a few years ago and havent been back since. I got your flyer for 20% and would like to give you all a second chance but you're going to have to compensate me so I'd like a double discount

Me: 40% off?

Guest: yes

Me: there is no way I could do that

Guest: I was a faithful customer of yours for many years. I'd like to resestablish that relationship

Me: I understand but I cant givr you 40% off

Guest: I am your customer and coming to you and telling you I had a bad experience, when we checked in, the bedsheets were soaked in urine and I killed I dont know how many cockroaches, the shower had mold in it, the Tv didnt work and it took you three days to fix it, the deck furniture was covered in bird crap....and you're telling me I get no compensation for that

Me: ok I just looked up that reservation and it shows we gave you two nights back

Guest: yes

Me: so we already compensated you

Guest: well thats not sufficient...look if you want me back, this is the way it's gonna be......I want a double discount and I still want my gas rebate and 10% off the bikes

Me: ma'am I cant do that

Guest: so you dont want me to come back?

Me: we do but I cant do this (I was lying through my teeth, I didnt want this lady back)

Guest: you dont want me to come back because if you did you'd be giving me a double discount but that's ok.....I will spread the word. I have a good friend in congress and he will fix your little red wagon. Goodbye

[ditchdj]

That's why you should say to her, "Show ME exactly where in the US Constitution that says you have a God-given right to service whenever and anywhere you demand it".

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Oh, Congress now. Threats of political influence. You've stepped up, VRS. b^^d

[Alpha Strike]

Guest: I am your customer and coming to you and telling you I had a bad experience, when we checked in, the bedsheets were soaked in urine and I killed I dont know how many cockroaches, the shower had mold in it, the Tv didnt work and it took you three days to fix it, the deck furniture was covered in bird crap....and you're telling me I get no compensation for that

*snip*

I have a good friend in congress and he will fix your little red wagon. Goodbye

First, I have to know: is there any chance in hell that this could have happened? Because if this could possibly be true, why the heck would she want to come back?

Secondly, I have to give this SC credit. She doesn't even bother threatening to go to your manager or Corporate - she claims someone in Congress will get you! I appreciate a customer who won't waste my time with minor threats and goes straight to the big guns!

[Becks]

I have a good friend in congress and he will fix your little red wagon.

That's a new one.

I can't wait for someone to say that to me sometime.

[friendofjimmyk]

I have a good friend in congress and he will fix your little red wagon. Goodbye

That tickles my SC funny bone! It really does! "your little red wagon!"

[IT Grunt]

I have a good friend in congress and he will fix your little red wagon. Goodbye

Every time I read a quote like this, I can't help but envision a little kid sulking off saying "I'll tell my big brother about you , yeah.. he'll fix you.. you meanie!"

[Record Store Tough Guy]

Oh no, not Congress! They'll smite you with glacial speed! Better think about getting out of town in about twenty years. :-/

[BaristaTrav]

This just in: Newly sworn-in President Obama is set to sign into a law a bill hastily drawn up in the House that states Dave the Vacation Rental guy is a big jerk and should give Margaret Von Entitled Bit*h her 40% discount.

[eltf177]

That tickles my SC funny bone! It really does! "your little red wagon!"

That _is_ good! Of course my favorite is "I'll fix you, and your little dog too!"

[Argabarga]

Something tells me she's telling the truth...


As in somewhere, in some congressional office, there's some poor clerk going over the senator's/representative's mail, and when he sees the return address all he can do is wearily throw his head back and say "Oh no, not HER again....."

[smileyeagle1021]

This just in: Newly sworn-in President Obama is set to sign into a law a bill hastily drawn up in the House that states Dave the Vacation Rental guy is a big jerk and should give Margaret Von Entitled Bit*h her 40% discount.

gah, what's said is his voice is so prolific now I actually read that in his voice
now I've got that in my head and once put in is very hard to remove.

you just ruined my perfect impression of Mr. Obama you big meanie

[Pagan]

I have a good friend in congress and he will fix your little red wagon. Goodbye

The big question really is -

Do you have a little red wagon? And does it need fixing? 'Cause that's really nice of her to offer!


On a side note: Judge Milian just called someone "unswift"! Hee!

[Balgram]

I have a good friend in congress....

Translation: I know how to contact the mayor.

Me: ok I just looked up that reservation and it shows we gave you two nights back

Guest: yes

Me: so we already compensated you

I think this is my favorite part. I mean, really? You want to go back after that experience, which they've already apologized for, and yet you won't do it unless they give you double/unreasonable discounts?

Did you ever consider that you aren't welcome there?

I love these posts, Dave the vacation man, and I sympathize. Apparently people on vacation are the most stressed out pigs on this planet.

[bainsidhe]

And the first thing I'd say to my supervisor? "Boss, we need a little red wagon".