"Go on...I dare you!" Fateful last words.

[Becks]

Why do asshole smokers try to give us nice smokers a bad rap?

[crazylegs]

Why do asshole smokers try to give us nice smokers a bad rap?

Because areseholes always are, no matter what their chosen activity I guess...

[Jester]

Shit, I could say the same thing about asshole drunks giving us awesomely cool drunks a bad name!

Face it, assholes are assholes, no matter what vices they may share with those of us who rock.

There are also asshole coffee drinkers, asshole vegetarians, asshole sports fans, asshole drivers, asshole cyclists, asshole boaters, asshole boyfriends, asshole girlfriends, asshole gay people, asshole straight people, asshole Republicans, asshole Democrats....EVERY group has assholes, but that doesn't mean the group as a whole are assholes.

Except, of course, the French.

[Broomjockey]

Except, of course, the French.

And soccer hooligans.

[Jester]

Yes, but unlike the French, soccer hooligans really can be entertaining. As long as you are viewing their antics from a safe distance, that is.

[Broomjockey]

Yes, but unlike the French,

Wait! You're not including Jean Reno in your dislike of the French, are you? Because if you are, them's fightin' words!

[Jester]

First, I haven't the foggiest fucking froggy clue who Jean Reno is.

Secondly, I didn't say I disliked the French. Simply that all of them are assholes.

[Broomjockey]

First, I haven't the foggiest fucking froggy clue who Jean Reno is.

Well, his most famous role was as Leon the Professional, and I believe he was in the DaVinci Code, and he was in Godzilla, with Matthew Broderick, and was easily the best thing in the whole movie. The guy's an amazing actor.

[Jester]

Oh him. Great actor. He was good in the first Mission: Impossible as well, and was downright HILARIOUS in Wasabi. If you haven't seen Wasabi, trust me....see it.

But he is French, so by definition, this great actor is still pretty much an asshole.

[Mark Healey]

The two of them ended up being cuffed and taken away and I had to give a statement. The police found it hilarious.

So, I'm wondering, what are the chances that they will be sent to Federal, er, make that Royal Pound You In The Ass Prison?

[BJD]

You are made of AWESOME!!!

-BJD

[Jester]

So, I'm wondering, what are the chances that they will be sent to Federal, er, make that Royal Pound You In The Ass Prison?

Federal prison? For a minor theft and an assault? Chance is zero.

There are actually very few crimes that ARE federal in nature, to be honest. Kidnapping, drug running, treason, terrorism, etc. But minor thievery and assault? Shit, they may not even spend all that much time in jail at all if this is their first offense. Especially if they are under 18.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So, I'm wondering, what are the chances that they will be sent to Federal, er, make that Royal Pound You In The Ass Prison?

Think local peck-on-the-cheek jail instead.

[taxguykarl]

Wait for the police to arrive, then commit assault? Yeah, I'm gonna guess that's not his first run-in with the cops.

And it probably won't be his last.

[Chromatix]

As for football hooligans...

I agree, the "fans" who are actually hooligans are Bad News™. The ones who are merely drunk and/or loud are simply annoying (and they tend to set each other off). But fortunately, not all of them are like that.

In at least one instance, *not* being stupid and rowdy has actually saved football fans' lives.

In the 1980s, even though this was still British Rail, it was possible to charter trains for special occasions. It was common practice for a particular "football supporters club" to charter a train to travel to major matches involving their team. Since the club was not exceedingly large, a two-car DMU was sufficient, with room in the parcels compartment for catering facilities.

In this case the train would be between Accrington (in the Blackburn area) and Carlisle - over the notorious summit of Shap. Taking a DMU of this type over Shap was very unusual, though since it had been formed as a "power twin", it would be capable of the task.

On the return journey, after descending Shap when it was necessary to slow for the Preston approach, the driver discovered that the brakes failed to apply.

He had the club organiser clear everyone out of the front carriage, tried a few other tricks to try and slow the train (which didn't work), and went aft himself as he spotted a locomotive on the track ahead. Meanwhile, the guard, the caterer and a passenger had all pulled various emergency braking handles, also with no effect.

The DMU hit the locomotive, which was standing at a platform in Preston station, causing extensive damage to both vehicles. But nobody was killed - the locomotive crew had also abandoned the cab as they saw the DMU approaching at speed.

The subsequent investigation found that the brakes could become inoperable if the vacuum was lost sufficiently slowly over a long enough period of time. Vacuum brakes work on differential pressure between a "topside vacuum", replenished by a one-way valve when the brakes are released, and the "train pipe", which is vented to atmosphere to apply the brake. Tiny leaks from the "topside" are normal, so drivers are instructed to ensure that the maximum vacuum is maintained when the brakes are not in use.

It was suggested that the driver had inadvertently mishandled the brakes on the unusually long (by DMU standards), non-stop journey, by leaving the brake handle in a position which prevented compensation of the inevitable slow leak of the system. It was also noted that the driver had not needed to apply the brakes while descending Shap - a 1:70 incline (very steep by railway standards, doubly so for a DMU) - suggesting that the brakes were in fact slightly applied at that point, which is consistent with their later behaviour and a slow leak from topside.

It may have technically been possible to recover by recreating the vacuum and then applying the brake, but this was scuppered by the use of the emergency valves elsewhere in the train. For whatever reason, no thought was given to the handbrakes, though investigators believed this could have had only minimal braking effect, being intended for parking rather than for emergencies.

But they concluded that lives were almost certainly saved by the prompt evacuation of the front carriage. This would not have been possible on a typical public "football special", but fortunately the club members were decently behaved and able to understand the gravity of the situation.