The Subway Rants Chronicles (VERY Long and language warning)

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I go to the local Subway every other week, when I need to bring a lunch to my job. Good solid meal, a lot better than just "burgers and fries".

One thing I don't understand is why stores don't invest in those ropes and posts that they use at the bank to 'guide' people to the start of the line. At the local Subway, there's a table that's just too close to the Start, and you sometimes see people talking and trying to eat while there's a guy in the line STANDINGRIGHTNEXTTOYOULISTENINGTOYOURCONVERSTATION ANDWATCHINGYOUEAT!!!



Oh, and if I may become an SC for a moment: They call you Subway artists... does that mean the price of the subs goes up if you die?

(I know, I know, I know... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had to ask...)

[Rapscallion]

I probably have a Subway SCW story to top them all if anyone wants to hear it.

It definitely qualifies as a ride on the WTF-train.

I'm interested. Post away!

Rapscallion

[TheTigress]

Oh, and if I may become an SC for a moment: They call you Subway artists... does that mean the price of the subs goes up if you die?

(I know, I know, I know... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had to ask...)

LOL! I suppose it would depend on how "edgy" and "out there" the sandwich looks.

[Digitalpotato]

oh, I think I should add a few things to the Subway Rants....

Customer Magnets

There are some things that always seem to be GUARANTEED to attract a bunch of customers.

-5 minutes to closing
-Try to get something done
-Try to clean something
-Try to flip the vein
-Send someone on break
-Try to stock the chips
-Try to empty the trash
-Clock out


The fact that Party orders ALWAYS attract a rush no matter what.

Seriously. This happens ALL the bloody time. We try to make a big party order, and then guess what happens? The customers on the CSU campus all suddenly get the urge to go to subway or sniff out a party order and come from miles around to rush the Subway when we have to get this party order done in 30 minutes because the 4 people kept trying to help the rush!


"I Kuh-No Hohw to Speayk Eengl-eye-sh beeteer thayn you!"

NOTE: I do realize that customers have accents and this is not something they can do. But this is actually not about customers with accents. no, this is about customers who claim to know English better than the native english-speakers despite making "accidents" on such OBVIOUS questions.

Customer: I'll have a Vee-gee pay-t-why.
Me: ...what?
Customer: Fiji Pay-t-why!
Me: Fiji?
Customer: VEE GEE SOOB! GOHSH DOH YOU NOHT KNOW HOW TO UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?!

That's ersiously happened numerous times. We've also had some customers accidentally lapse into Spanish or Portuguese, although they catch themselves.

In all, please don't claim to understand the language better than the natives. I wouldn't claim to know any language better than a native-speaker of that language.


Word Substitution


Salad = Lettuce
Cabbage = Lettuce
Espionage = Spinach
Spanish = Spinach
Teriyaki = Turkey
Turkey = Teriyaki
Took = Turkey
toohk = Turkey
Tyuuk = Turkey
Cherries = Carrots
Bologna = Provolone
Provoloney = Provolone
Chack = Pepperjack
Spank = Steak
Shake = Steak
Cheesecake = Cheeseteak
Honey = Onions
Ali = Olives
Aaaahni = Onion
Sweet Honey = Sweet Onion

[EmiOfBrie]

To some customers' credit, Subway *used* to have numbered meals until a few years ago.

Still doesn't excuse them from reading the damn menu though

[k386trl]

I didn't realize it irritated the employees showing up at 8/8:30. As a night shifter I always appreciated having Subway available on my ride home from work. I'm always nice though!

[Phantomgrift]

A Subway was the first job I ever had... I to this day hate the following:

"I want everything.... Oh, but none of that......... None of that either... Oh, not that-"

So on'n so on until I have placed two veggie items total on their sandwhich.

Why? WHY ask for "everything" when you really meant two fucking things!

[Digitalpotato]

I didn't realize it irritated the employees showing up at 8/8:30. As a night shifter I always appreciated having Subway available on my ride home from work. I'm always nice though!

Well it's part of the job, because sometimes if there's no one you may get to close early.

Also, there's a certain point where they just don't bother to stock the vein because they don't know how many people will come in stampeding at 5 minutes to closing. You'll have some days in which no one comes in then other days when you have 20 people in line and you closed 15 minutes ago, and they keep on streaming in by the footlong.

We close at 4 during the summer (since we're in a college campus) and that's happened numerous times, and this has lead to at least 50 customer compaints all reading "WHY DON'T YOU STAY OPEN UNTIL 6?! People need to eat dinner you know!" despite that the weather's perfectly nice and htere is another subway that closes at 9 about 5+ minutes thataway.

[Voldine]

Since an admin asked me to elaborate, here goes.

It's my second, maybe third day on the job. I've been given the basic training on everything except for the big closing procedures, having only been scheduled to an hour before closing before this. We have no customers in the store, and the soda fountain has been out of service since before I was hired due to problems with the water supply it uses.

My coworker tells me to go finish up the dishes, he needs a second to move his car before we can get ready to close down. I figure he knows what he's talking about and doing, it'll literally take maybe a minute for him to move his car...

About a minute later there's a horrendous crash and the whole building shakes. I open up the door that leads out from the area behind everything and blink at the sight of my coworker's car having caved in the wall directly across from the door, then stare dumbfounded as he quickly reverses, parks it where it was before in back of the building and comes running back in panicking about having hit the gas instead of the brakes.

He looks right at me and says: "I have to call the cops and the owner, and if you say anything to counter what I tell them, I will blame you saying that you threatened me with a knife if I told the truth."

See, somehow, his car was completely undamaged, not even a scratch on the paint.....

Guy ends up lying to the cops and the store owner about not having a chance to see what the car looked like. I had to lie or else who knows what would have happened. I was the new guy after all.

[TheTigress]

oh, I think I should add a few things to the Subway Rants....

Customer Magnets

There are some things that always seem to be GUARANTEED to attract a bunch of customers.

-5 minutes to closing
-Try to get something done
-Try to clean something
-Try to flip the vein
-Send someone on break
-Try to stock the chips
-Try to empty the trash
-Clock out


The fact that Party orders ALWAYS attract a rush no matter what.

Seriously. This happens ALL the bloody time. We try to make a big party order, and then guess what happens? The customers on the CSU campus all suddenly get the urge to go to subway or sniff out a party order and come from miles around to rush the Subway when we have to get this party order done in 30 minutes because the 4 people kept trying to help the rush!


Word Substitution


Salad = Lettuce
Cabbage = Lettuce
Espionage = Spinach
Spanish = Spinach
Teriyaki = Turkey
Turkey = Teriyaki
Took = Turkey
toohk = Turkey
Tyuuk = Turkey
Cherries = Carrots
Bologna = Provolone
Provoloney = Provolone
Chack = Pepperjack
Spank = Steak
Shake = Steak
Cheesecake = Cheeseteak
Honey = Onions
Ali = Olives
Aaaahni = Onion
Sweet Honey = Sweet Onion

We have the exact same customer magnets at our store! It doesn't matter if it was dead for the last hour, as soon as you want to get something done, a rush will happen.

I got a huge laugh at the word substitution one. Because I have heard over half of them. The lettuce/salad one especially annoys me because it sounds so uneducated to call lettuce "salad."

The banana peppers at our store have at least 4 names, including: Fettuchinis, cappicinos, "the yellow things", "sweet peppers" <---I don't think there is anything sweet about them whatsoever, but what can you say.

[MageAkyla]

I got a huge laugh at the word substitution one. Because I have heard over half of them. The lettuce/salad one especially annoys me because it sounds so uneducated to call lettuce "salad."

The salad part might not be so much of uneducated as the person is British. If you want lettuce on a sandwich there, you ask for salad.

Anyways, I feel your pain. I luckily escaped the Subway hell after 3 months before the $5 footlong and before the toasting of subs. It's amazing how simplistic things seem compared to now.

I really never had too many bad SC's, with the exception of the woman who insisted on having two containers of olives on the side or the entire girl's volleyball team going through two preps of cucumbers every time they came in.

My real hell was the SCWs and SM/Owner. To start with the owner should never be on since she got hives when people said anything bad about her. Get thick skin if you're going to have underlings okay people! But really, she thought her workers should be her best friends, not wage slaves. It doesn't sound bad, but believe me it was. If you didn't chit chat with her vapid self, she would get all huffy.

She was also convinced she was god's gift to teenage boys. She actually forced someone out so she could rehire her worthless "boy toy"who actually flirted with her.

I started getting fed up with her when she yelled at me for: telling her boy toy to use soap to wash the dishes, her girl best friend to actually bake the bread right, and other SCWs to actually do prep according to the subway manual. These are not hard concepts!

I even let it go when she claimed my hair was caught in the defrosted bread when i was the only long hair blond including her who actually pulled their hair back and wore the viser.

I held my tongue when she told me i should have made chili for another best friend of hers who worked next door (who was given employee discount by another SCW), even though she had left explicit orders NOT to make anymore chili or soup.

She even cut my hours for a week after I left one item of prep left to do for the morning crew after my SCW abandoned me with permission from the owner. However, noone bothered to tell me she was only to leave when ALL PREP WAS DONE. But I didn't know, and yet I was the only one punished.

But the final straw was when she accused me of stealing $60 which was located at the bottom of her purse in which she stuffed the deposits randomly every morning.

I could handle the SC, but in three months i was close to killing the owner and my SCW's.

Whew...that felt good to get out, heh.

[mattm04]

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.... Chicken Bacon Ranch.

When I order I always tell the clerk what sandwich, bread and size. After that I let them ask the questions in the order that best suits them. For some strange reason that has always worked.

[Gravekeeper]

Hah, bloody hell. How long has that all been simmering?

That said, I'm not sure I've ever gone to Subway and not had the thought of headbutting another customer and/or the Sandwich Artist(tm) cross my mind. I don't know what it is with Vancouver and Subway. Its just the evening too. To score the evening shift at Subway in Vancouver you apparently have to begin eating your resume during the interview.

Combine that with the people who are usually in line with you and most the Subways in this city are dark voids where common sense goes to die.

I had a Sandwich Artist(tm) put my sub together upside down once in this city. That was seriously impressive. They put the top on it upside down. I don't even know how you could do that, stare at it, and have it pass your mental quality check. Seriously, dude. You just failed at making a sandwich. This is not complex engineering. -.-

The Subway Smell(tm) is still more bearable then the MacDonalds Smell(tm) though <shudder>.

[Pezzle]

I'm probably a hated person I always say "The works minus olives." but the people around here don't seem to mind. Is it just that they say they want everything and when you reach for something they yell "NO!" ? Because that would piss me off x1000.

I'm one of those that gets ham on wheat bread, no cheese, lettuce, tomato, green peppers, red onion, jalapenos, banana pepper slices, pepper relish, cucumbers, salt pepper and oregano and swimming in vinegar. If only Subway had squash...

Now I'm hungry. D:

[Digitalpotato]

But you don't change your mind >9000 times.