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...or "Tale of a Psychotic Helicopter Mom in Four Acts"
Act I Scene I
I showed up at work today around 11 this morning. At 11:30, I got this gem of a phone call.
Me:
HM: Helicopter mom
Me: <opening spiel>
HM: Lupo, did you say your name was?
Me: Yes, ma'am, how can I help you today?
HM: Well, Lupo there seems to be a bit of a problem regarding my son's books he purchased there last week. You gave him the wrong book for one of his classes!
Me: Er...I do apologize that he seemed to have obtained the wrong book, ma'am. If he can bring it back with the receipt, we'll be happy to exchange it for the correct book.
HM: That's assuming you'd actually know what the correct book is!
Me: ...
HM: He'll be there later. Make sure you give him the right book! <Click>
Act I Scene II
12:07 p.m. Phone rings again.
Me: <Opening spiel, etc, etc>
HM: Yes, Lupo, I believe I just spoke with you regarding my son's books?
Me: Er, yes, ma'am, he was going to come and exchange them, correct?
HM: Yes, but I needed to explain what exactly you did to him. You see, he had to get a course packet from his professor before he could do the homework assignments. He was just trying to do his work, when he discovered that you gave him the wrong books, and now he can't get his homework done!
Me: Well, ma'am, I've already explained that-
HM: Shut up! I'm not done!
Me:
HM: Now, he opened the package of books on the assumption that you knew what you were doing when you gave him the books for the class.
Me: Well, if he gave us his schedule, that's what we went by.
HM: whatever, you robbed me of the $125, so how are you going to make up for it!?!
Me: Well, ma'am, if he opened the package, I'm not sure that I can-
HM: Then put your manager on the phone. Now!
I transfer the call to our MOD, which happens to be the spineless idjit, whom I shall refer to as D.
Act II Scene I
D informs me that she went ahead and told HM that despite the package being opened, and our store policy clearly stating that there are no refunds/exchanges on opened merchandise, that she went ahead and told HM to have her son bring the book in and we'd exchange it for the correct package.
Way to show who's boss, D...
Act II Scene II
1:22 p.m.
Irate looking woman stomps her way over to the textbook counter, where I'm helping another customer and slams an armful of books down on the surface. Three guesses who it was, and the first two don't count!
HM: You need to fix this, RIGHT NOW!!!
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, I'll be with you in a moment, as soon as I'm done helping this gentleman right here.
OC: (Other customer) <he finishes his business and I wave him off cheerfully, then turn to ask how I can help her...>
HM: I want you to explain to me how someone who works here, who's supposed to know how to find books could screw up something as simple as getting my son's books!!
Me: (Oh...it's you...) Well, ma'am, sometimes there are multiple sections of a class, and different professors require different books for each section. Sometimes, we mishear a student when they tell us which class they're taking. And sometimes students tell us the wrong information.
HM: So, now my son's a liar.
Me: No, ma'am, I was just answering your question.
HM: Give me back my money, we want nothing else to do with this place!
Me:
I was told we would exchange the package for the correct one.
HM: No! I'm getting my money back! Stop trying to rob me!!
Me: One moment, please. <I go and find D, and she tells me exchange only. No refunds. But does she offer to come out and deal with this hag?? Oh, noooooooo!>
Me: I am sorry, ma'am, but I'm being told it's exchange only, no refunds.
HM: Shut up! Can't you see I"m on the phone!?! <She had started talking on her bluetooth while I was gone!! I couldn't see it!!>
HM: <On the phone> Mijo, was there another section of your class? Uh huh. No? Oh, so she's lying again. I see. <Turns to me, and in a snide voice, says> My son says there's only an honors section of the course besides his, and THEY use the same books, so you're lying.
Me: <Trying very, very hard not to growl, I smile vaguely, then move to see what book she has, and find out what she needs to exchange them for so she can get out of the store!>
HM: don't touch those! And why are you smiling?! You have nothing to smile about! Unless you're cheerful that you're ROBBING me of my money, and RUINING my son's homework!!
Me: I'm just trying to help you find the books you need to exchan--
HM: I don't need anything from you! I'm going to the other store on campus. I'd rather give them my money than have you steal it from me! <She snatches the books and storms off before I can tell her we're the only store in the area open on Sundays!>
Me: Great. This just means she'll come back.
Act III Scene I
2:05 p.m.
We're busy as hell, especially for a Sunday. I'm literally running around, multitasking like you wouldn't believe. (Seriously, I had two people say they were impressed with how I managed to answer phones, help multiple customers, and answer my co-worker's questions, all at the same time without getting lost or frazzled. Go me!
)
And the phone rings again.
Me: <Opening spiel>
HM: I want my son's books ready to pick up when we get there!!
Me: (<Sigh> Well, hello again to you, too, you mouth breathing she-beast...) I can arrange that, ma'am, if you'll tell me which books he needs.
HM: Look it up!
Me: I don't have access to student schedules. I need either the course name, instructor, book title or author or ISBN, or for your son to bring in his syllabus.
HM: He TOLD you what class he was taking, and you still screwed up.
Me: Ma'am, I'm trying to help you here, but-
HM: No, you're not, you're just trying to steal more of my money!! We'll be there in five minutes! <Click>
Me: (Be still my heart...)
Act III Scene II:
2:28 p.m. (Five minutes, my ass!)
HM storms back to the counter, and lo and behold, she has apparently brought her son with her, and I'm truly gobsmacked!! He looks like he's 20-21!! And she's acting like he's a little froshie! Dude,
?!?! Seriously!!!
And so she's back, and turns to her son, and tells him to tell me the class again. He says Math 3331, An upper level, JUNIOR/SENIOR level class!! I immediately go and procure the book, and she starts screaming!
HM: This is the same books you gave us last time. It's wrong, wrong wrong!!!
Me: Ma'am, these are the books for the class your son just told me. These are the books being used for ALL sections of the class. There are no honors section either, just 4 sections of Differential equations. That's it.
HM: My son is not a liar! You're the liar, and the thief! I refuse to let you steal my $125!! come, mijo! We're going to get your schedule and SHOW her that she's wrong. And the course packet so she can see she lied to you!!
And they leave. AGAIN...
Act IV Scene I
5:42 p.m.
I had hoped beyond hope that while I was at lunch she'd come in, and everything would be done.
No such luck.
Once again, I"m at the counter and she storms in and slams the books and a piece of paper down. It's his schedule. I look at it and have to remind the textbooks as a clue-by-four. Why, you ask?
Because the class he needs books for is STAT 3371!!!
Oh yes, big big difference. Still a junior/senior level class. And during the whole course of the exchange of HM still harranguing me, he says nothing. He lets mommy fight his battles for him, and thinks nothing's wrong with the way she's treating me.
HM: See, I TOLD you they were the wrong books!
Me: Yes, ma'am, but this is a completely different class. How were we to know?
HM: He TOLD you.
Me: He said MATH. This is STATS. There is a difference. But if you take this up to the registers, they'll be happy to help you exchange these for the correct.
HM: Shut UP!
Me: Ma'am, I've done what I can for you. It's out of my hands, now, what you choose to do is beyond me. Have a nice day. <And cue Lupo going to the back room to hide for 5-10 minutes, in the hopes that they'll be gone when I come back out because I'm seriously ready to beat the woman bloody.>
I venture back out and thankfully, they're GONE!! Woot!! Even better, they did the exchange so, (in theory), they're done with us.
This woman was horrible, to an insane degree. I put up with a lot of shit from my job and I've had some classic characters, and dealt with various helicopter parents, but holy shit, does she take the cake!! If K had been there, she wouldn't have been getting away with the crap D let her get away with. AND he would've been the one dealing with her, rather than leaving me to take all the heat. Thanks D. Oh so much. Ugh Ugh Ugh.
so here I sit, drinking a hard cider and eating cheesecake. Yes, it's my dinner, but I'm wound tighter than you'd believe because this woman isn't the only instance of suck I've dealt with at work this last week. It just deserves its own post, because her level of nastiness, rudeness, and stupidity struck a chord. Maybe I'm just wound up over everything else that's going on right now, or something. Who knows? Whatever.
I'll detail the other happenings later. I'm off for liberal applications of cider. Mmm...cider tasty.
Act I Scene I
I showed up at work today around 11 this morning. At 11:30, I got this gem of a phone call.
Me:
HM: Helicopter mom
Me: <opening spiel>
HM: Lupo, did you say your name was?
Me: Yes, ma'am, how can I help you today?
HM: Well, Lupo there seems to be a bit of a problem regarding my son's books he purchased there last week. You gave him the wrong book for one of his classes!
Me: Er...I do apologize that he seemed to have obtained the wrong book, ma'am. If he can bring it back with the receipt, we'll be happy to exchange it for the correct book.
HM: That's assuming you'd actually know what the correct book is!
Me: ...
HM: He'll be there later. Make sure you give him the right book! <Click>
Act I Scene II
12:07 p.m. Phone rings again.
Me: <Opening spiel, etc, etc>
HM: Yes, Lupo, I believe I just spoke with you regarding my son's books?
Me: Er, yes, ma'am, he was going to come and exchange them, correct?
HM: Yes, but I needed to explain what exactly you did to him. You see, he had to get a course packet from his professor before he could do the homework assignments. He was just trying to do his work, when he discovered that you gave him the wrong books, and now he can't get his homework done!
Me: Well, ma'am, I've already explained that-
HM: Shut up! I'm not done!
Me:
HM: Now, he opened the package of books on the assumption that you knew what you were doing when you gave him the books for the class.
Me: Well, if he gave us his schedule, that's what we went by.
HM: whatever, you robbed me of the $125, so how are you going to make up for it!?!
Me: Well, ma'am, if he opened the package, I'm not sure that I can-
HM: Then put your manager on the phone. Now!
I transfer the call to our MOD, which happens to be the spineless idjit, whom I shall refer to as D.
Act II Scene I
D informs me that she went ahead and told HM that despite the package being opened, and our store policy clearly stating that there are no refunds/exchanges on opened merchandise, that she went ahead and told HM to have her son bring the book in and we'd exchange it for the correct package.
Way to show who's boss, D...
Act II Scene II
1:22 p.m.
Irate looking woman stomps her way over to the textbook counter, where I'm helping another customer and slams an armful of books down on the surface. Three guesses who it was, and the first two don't count!
HM: You need to fix this, RIGHT NOW!!!
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am, I'll be with you in a moment, as soon as I'm done helping this gentleman right here.
OC: (Other customer) <he finishes his business and I wave him off cheerfully, then turn to ask how I can help her...>
HM: I want you to explain to me how someone who works here, who's supposed to know how to find books could screw up something as simple as getting my son's books!!
Me: (Oh...it's you...) Well, ma'am, sometimes there are multiple sections of a class, and different professors require different books for each section. Sometimes, we mishear a student when they tell us which class they're taking. And sometimes students tell us the wrong information.
HM: So, now my son's a liar.
Me: No, ma'am, I was just answering your question.
HM: Give me back my money, we want nothing else to do with this place!
Me:
I was told we would exchange the package for the correct one.HM: No! I'm getting my money back! Stop trying to rob me!!
Me: One moment, please. <I go and find D, and she tells me exchange only. No refunds. But does she offer to come out and deal with this hag?? Oh, noooooooo!>
Me: I am sorry, ma'am, but I'm being told it's exchange only, no refunds.
HM: Shut up! Can't you see I"m on the phone!?! <She had started talking on her bluetooth while I was gone!! I couldn't see it!!>
HM: <On the phone> Mijo, was there another section of your class? Uh huh. No? Oh, so she's lying again. I see. <Turns to me, and in a snide voice, says> My son says there's only an honors section of the course besides his, and THEY use the same books, so you're lying.
Me: <Trying very, very hard not to growl, I smile vaguely, then move to see what book she has, and find out what she needs to exchange them for so she can get out of the store!>
HM: don't touch those! And why are you smiling?! You have nothing to smile about! Unless you're cheerful that you're ROBBING me of my money, and RUINING my son's homework!!
Me: I'm just trying to help you find the books you need to exchan--
HM: I don't need anything from you! I'm going to the other store on campus. I'd rather give them my money than have you steal it from me! <She snatches the books and storms off before I can tell her we're the only store in the area open on Sundays!>
Me: Great. This just means she'll come back.
Act III Scene I
2:05 p.m.
We're busy as hell, especially for a Sunday. I'm literally running around, multitasking like you wouldn't believe. (Seriously, I had two people say they were impressed with how I managed to answer phones, help multiple customers, and answer my co-worker's questions, all at the same time without getting lost or frazzled. Go me!
)And the phone rings again.
Me: <Opening spiel>
HM: I want my son's books ready to pick up when we get there!!
Me: (<Sigh> Well, hello again to you, too, you mouth breathing she-beast...) I can arrange that, ma'am, if you'll tell me which books he needs.
HM: Look it up!
Me: I don't have access to student schedules. I need either the course name, instructor, book title or author or ISBN, or for your son to bring in his syllabus.
HM: He TOLD you what class he was taking, and you still screwed up.
Me: Ma'am, I'm trying to help you here, but-
HM: No, you're not, you're just trying to steal more of my money!! We'll be there in five minutes! <Click>
Me: (Be still my heart...)
Act III Scene II:
2:28 p.m. (Five minutes, my ass!)
HM storms back to the counter, and lo and behold, she has apparently brought her son with her, and I'm truly gobsmacked!! He looks like he's 20-21!! And she's acting like he's a little froshie! Dude,
?!?! Seriously!!!And so she's back, and turns to her son, and tells him to tell me the class again. He says Math 3331, An upper level, JUNIOR/SENIOR level class!! I immediately go and procure the book, and she starts screaming!
HM: This is the same books you gave us last time. It's wrong, wrong wrong!!!
Me: Ma'am, these are the books for the class your son just told me. These are the books being used for ALL sections of the class. There are no honors section either, just 4 sections of Differential equations. That's it.
HM: My son is not a liar! You're the liar, and the thief! I refuse to let you steal my $125!! come, mijo! We're going to get your schedule and SHOW her that she's wrong. And the course packet so she can see she lied to you!!
And they leave. AGAIN...
Act IV Scene I
5:42 p.m.
I had hoped beyond hope that while I was at lunch she'd come in, and everything would be done.
No such luck.
Once again, I"m at the counter and she storms in and slams the books and a piece of paper down. It's his schedule. I look at it and have to remind the textbooks as a clue-by-four. Why, you ask?
Because the class he needs books for is STAT 3371!!!
Oh yes, big big difference. Still a junior/senior level class. And during the whole course of the exchange of HM still harranguing me, he says nothing. He lets mommy fight his battles for him, and thinks nothing's wrong with the way she's treating me.
HM: See, I TOLD you they were the wrong books!
Me: Yes, ma'am, but this is a completely different class. How were we to know?
HM: He TOLD you.
Me: He said MATH. This is STATS. There is a difference. But if you take this up to the registers, they'll be happy to help you exchange these for the correct.
HM: Shut UP!
Me: Ma'am, I've done what I can for you. It's out of my hands, now, what you choose to do is beyond me. Have a nice day. <And cue Lupo going to the back room to hide for 5-10 minutes, in the hopes that they'll be gone when I come back out because I'm seriously ready to beat the woman bloody.>
I venture back out and thankfully, they're GONE!! Woot!! Even better, they did the exchange so, (in theory), they're done with us.
This woman was horrible, to an insane degree. I put up with a lot of shit from my job and I've had some classic characters, and dealt with various helicopter parents, but holy shit, does she take the cake!! If K had been there, she wouldn't have been getting away with the crap D let her get away with. AND he would've been the one dealing with her, rather than leaving me to take all the heat. Thanks D. Oh so much. Ugh Ugh Ugh.
so here I sit, drinking a hard cider and eating cheesecake. Yes, it's my dinner, but I'm wound tighter than you'd believe because this woman isn't the only instance of suck I've dealt with at work this last week. It just deserves its own post, because her level of nastiness, rudeness, and stupidity struck a chord. Maybe I'm just wound up over everything else that's going on right now, or something. Who knows? Whatever.
I'll detail the other happenings later. I'm off for liberal applications of cider. Mmm...cider tasty.
), food, medications and I still live with them.
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