"You're being a bad customer!"

[skeptic53]

Years ago I drove a lot on a certain stretch of interstate and got to know where the likely radar speed traps were. One trip I was in the left lane, going 5-8 mph over the speed limit, a 3-second following distance from the car ahead of me. The middle lane was jammed tight, going just under the limit. A guy in a muscle car came up behind me and did the crawl-up-your-tail-pipe, flash-the-lights bit. I had no way to move over, but he kept it up.

I noticed we were a mile or so from a likely radar trap, and timed my move to the middle lane perfectly. He roared past, middle finger held high. In his rear window was a carved wooden hand that was *also* flipping the bird!

A mile and a half down the highway, there he was, pulled over by the State Patrol. I waved and smiled as I went past.

[Spiffy McMoron]

A mile and a half down the highway, there he was, pulled over by the State Patrol. I waved and smiled as I went past.

I love it when that happens-it just kinda warms the cockles of my heart. I'll bet that just made your trip.

[ladodger34]

I drive on a two-lane road (one lane of traffic in each direction) for most of my ride to work. I drive about 17 miles to work and 10 or so of it is on this road. The speed limit is 55 and I generally go about 60-65. Needless to say, I see some fairly stupid driving on a daily basis.

A month or so ago, I had to swerve onto the shoulder to avoid someone who was trying to pass people. It happens every once and a while, but this time was particularly galling. The dude was less than 2 miles from the freeway (when the road ends, there is no other place to go). The people in front of him weren't going that slow. It really just isn't worth it to pass at that point in time, even if it is totally clear to do so.

From driving on that road quite a bit now, I've pretty much learned that it's worth it to be patient. Most of the time when people pass me, I notice that they don't get much further ahead of me because someone else "slows" them down.

A mile and a half down the highway, there he was, pulled over by the State Patrol. I waved and smiled as I went past.

Just another quick story. Bro, his best friend, and I were driving through Utah. We were pretty cautious the whole trip (before, during, and after) and set our cruise at 5 miles above the posted speed limit. Some jackass flies past us (we were doing like 80, so the guy was somewhere upward of 90). We spot him a couple of miles ahead on the side of the road. He was pulled over by a state trooper.

We're driving along and suddenly, this burgundy flash buzzes past us again. We knew it was the same car. A couple of miles up the road, he was pulled over once again.

[DesignFox]

Now, that's justice!

[rdp78]

Oh, man last week when I was leaving a shopping center (not the one at work at) and I was turning to go on the little two-lane road that goes through it I heard a long honking sound. I knew it had to be someone behind me wanting me to turn or whatever but I'm pretty concoius about my turing. Anyway when I got on the four lane road and going at a speed limit some a-hole passed me so I figured out it was him (also people always pass me on this road even through I'm going the speed limit). Anyway when I was turning left to go home the a-hole blocked me to get even with me.

[protege]

I noticed we were a mile or so from a likely radar trap, and timed my move to the middle lane perfectly. He roared past, middle finger held high. In his rear window was a carved wooden hand that was *also* flipping the bird!

Can you say "pwned?"

I've seen several people do that on the interstates here. Since I travel the same roads constantly, I usually know where the cops are hiding out...and can adjust my speed accordingly.

But, one night, I didn't have to bother. As I'm heading down I-79 south, I looked back and saw two bluish-white (i.e. Expensive car) lights coming up behind me. Very quickly in fact. I didn't even bother slowing down and was in the right lane. I figured, if some idiot in a Porsche wanted to roar pass me, be my guess.

Anyone want to guess what was right behind him? As he was about to pass me, I saw something right behind him. Turns out that a PA state trooper was right on his tail! The Porsche floored it and passed me, and so did the cop. Not far in front of me, the cop flipped his lights on, and pulled the guy over!

That made my night.

[Pagan]

About a week ago, I finished there and went out and started my car. A brand new Cadillac Escalade pulls up in the "I'm taking your spot" position, left turn signal on and everything. I wasn't leaving right that instant- I had a phone call to make or something. So I went about my business.

After a minute or two, he pulls up right behind me, as if to make me aware of his presence. By this time I can tell he's going to be obnoxious about it, so I find other things to do--gather up the garbage in my car, sort my gas receipts, that sort of thing.

The guy honks at me impatiently, as if that sound coming from his new GM wee-wee enlarger is somehow going to motivate me. No, I just sit there, plug my iPod in, flip through it looking for some songs. Eventually he races off down the aisle, and after he turns the corner, I put my car in reverse and back out.

I had some numbnuts pull something like this with me at Cielo Vista Mall in El Paso. I wasn't getting in my car and backing out fast enough, so he honks his horn at me. What do I do? Suddenly, I "remember" something else I need to get and go back in the mall!

The street that I take to get to my parents house has a posted speed limit of 25 mph and there are I know where the cops will set up shop for speeders. Now, we've lived in this house since 1971 and I'll be damned if I'm going to get a ticket on this street! The best thing is some yahoo tailgaiting me all the way down. I put on my blinker to turn left and they start inching over to blow by me because most people cut the corner. I don't. As a matter of fact, I'll even swing wide to the right. Makes them so mad!

[MadMike]

A mile and a half down the highway, there he was, pulled over by the State Patrol. I waved and smiled as I went past.

Back when I was in Junior High, I was riding the bus, and some idiot on a motorcyle went flying right past us. A few miles up the road, we passed the same guy, who had been pulled over by a cop. Pretty unlucky, considering this was a rural area with almost no police presence.

To add insult to injury, the guy also got pointed at and laughed at by a bus full of 12 - 14-year-olds.

[zeoquean]

"Just hurry up!" (Here's the best part!) "You're being a BAD CUSTOMER! Don't you know that people like you make Wal-Mart workers mad!"

I just wanted to say that I'm a Wal-Mart employee (you all can feel sorry for me if you want lol) and I'm a cashier. Most people that I get through my line don't get me mad. If people pay in all change, that doesn't bother me...too much. I just had a guy pay for almost 10 bucks of stuff all in nickels. I didn't get mad...just a little annoyed.

But seriously..you were at the self-checkouts. Not too many employees are over TO get mad anyway. There's only one there in case the register has a problem, or if the customer needs help. Maybe she caused too much of a problem at the self checkouts before and they got mad at her...and that's why she said that to you. My bet is that that's the case.

And of course you know that you have the right to pay in all change...(heck, I would too at a self-checkout).

And if that lady was in so much of a hurry...why would she go to a self-checkout (which in my opinion, is quite slow...I can go MUCH faster than that...I noticed that one when I went to the super Wal-Mart half hour away once)...especially one that someone was at? When there was no one else at the other one? If she was in such a hurry, she would have UNLOADED her frickin' cart RIGHT THEN...

Some people...

(Sorry, that was a long-winded response)

[Sunsetsky]

As a Walmart employee (and cashier)...it doesn't make me mad if someone in a self checkout pays their order with change.

[Tria]

I love it when that happens-it just kinda warms the cockles of my heart. I'll bet that just made your trip.

What about the subcockles?

[repsac]

another trick that works, and is not as likely to cause a sudden screeching of tires or getting you flipped off is one I learned recently.

As you drive, if you get someone tailgating you, start to slowly weave in your lane. Nothing major like you're overly drunk or anything, but just a slow gentle side to side motion. Almost EVERY time the person behind you will slow down and back off. Not sure why that works, but it's a blast to do.

Alternatively, at night, if you've got a warped sense of humor like me, you can get a few car lengths behind someone (make sure it's far enough that you doubt they can make out your car make) and repeat. Make the same slow side to side motion and watch.

One of three things will happen:

1.) The driver will slow down and suddenly drive perfectly fine.
2.) They'll pull over and let you pass,

Or more likely:

3.) The driver will begin to mimic your side to side motion unconsciously.

It can be very funny to watch at times.

Note: The reason many people slow down, is many police officers do this when driving behind someone.

[Bella_Vixen]

What about the subcockles?

Or the liver? Or maybe even the colon?

[Seanette]

Just another quick story. Bro, his best friend, and I were driving through Utah. We were pretty cautious the whole trip (before, during, and after) and set our cruise at 5 miles above the posted speed limit. Some jackass flies past us (we were doing like 80, so the guy was somewhere upward of 90). We spot him a couple of miles ahead on the side of the road. He was pulled over by a state trooper.

We're driving along and suddenly, this burgundy flash buzzes past us again. We knew it was the same car. A couple of miles up the road, he was pulled over once again.

Can we say "VERY slow learner"?

[Tria]

Or the liver? Or maybe even the colon?

*Sings* I'm an asshole!