"Looks like you need to go back to kindergarten" and other stories of suck

[Mr Hero]

The Dumb
I had this story happen just tonight. A case of stupidity that had me shaking with rage afterwards. Rage that there are people this dim.

SC couple comes to check in and they pay for a room. SC man goes to park the car.
SCW: Where's the bathroom?
Me: Take a left and it's the first door on the left.
SCW: You need to point. I don't know left from right.
Me: Being the evil self, guesture while still dictating left and right in directions.

I was half tempted to tell her to hold out her hands and extend her thumb and pointer finger. Whichever forms an L is the left hand.

The Rude
I can't really call this one an SC, because she didn't get a room, so the "C" really doesn't apply. For lack of a better term, she's still will be called SC.

SC: I need to use the phone.
Me: I point her over to a payphone.

She makes her call and comes up to the desk.

SC: Can I use your phonebook and a sheet of scratch paper?
Regular customer was talking with me at the counter at the time asking directions. He had a pad of paper in his hand is about to to grab her a sheet.
SC: (To regular) I asked him (me) not you.

I comply, but I'm no longer the nice guy. I go and set up breakfast and then tell her she has until 6 to do whatever business before she needs to leave. I give her another warning at 10 minutes. At 6 I tell her time is up.

She tells me she's not finished yet and she's copying down phone numbers. Problem is was that before this time she was not doing anything. Just wasting time. I phone non emergency police to have her booted out.

[TheSHAD0W]

If she's dyslexic, "whichever forms an L is the left hand" won't work.

Dyslexia sucks in more ways than spelling. Most of the dyslexics you meet are smart enough to at least partially compensate for their problem. Stupid dyslexics can't go anywhere without a companion, they can get lost walking out their front door.

[Teysa]

My husband is dyslexic and he has a much better sense of direction than I do. Heck, I'm the one who gets lost going out the front door.

[Stormraven]

We have a friend who can't tell left from right readily. Not that she doesn't know it, just that her brain isn't wired to automatically reference it.

She uses the extended hands bit, and manages well. Otherwise, she's quite bright.

[Buglady]

I have ADHD and I can't tell left from right half the time without glancing at my hands. I'm a lot better at referencing the outside world (north, east, etc) - I have a decent sense of direction outdoors, but I do get lost in shopping malls a lot I don't usually say anything unless I am truly confused - typically it is worse when I am very tired or if my normal routine is messed up - and I always make an apologetic little joke out of it, but I'd be a little hurt if people took that to mean I was irredeemably stupid. (I'm not. Kind of on the other side of that bell curve, here).

I found out a lot of interesting stuff when I was going through the ADHD evaluation - that was about 12 hours of psychological assessment, IQ tests, some neuropsychological assessment tasks like balance, spatial and directional sense, putting things in timeline order, and tests of vigilance and sustained attention (a computer screen flashes a letter at irregular intervals; you are supposed to click as fast as you can when you see the letter EXCEPT if it is an X. The reaction time and the number of false clicks give an indication of your ability to pay attention to the screen over time, and your ability to restrain the impulse to click as soon as you see anything. I scored worse than about 60% of people on that one... mostly that I clicked every darn time even when I was not suppposed to!)

Both ADHD and dyslexia involve deficits in the coordination of different brain functions - the ability is there, usually, even if it's not that strong compared to most people, but the biggest problem is that the "conductor" doesn't give the right signals to get all the different functions working together the way they should.

So there can be a lot of variation in the way different people experience dyslexia/ADHD or even how the same person experiences it at different times. It depends a lot on what other factors are going on at the time, and it always gets worse under stress or anxiety, unfortunately. (I have THE WORST anxiety about writing essays and research papers. I am OK with exams, luckily - I know a couple of ADDers who lose their marbles at exam time - but I have to find a workaround for this dang writing anxiety before I get to the thesis part of my Master's... )

Um. Sorry. I seem to have written a largish essay here. Am I on a soapbox? I hope not.

[SailorMan]

After having spent so many years at sea, I really have to think about which is right, and which is left... but 'port' and 'starboard,' I can identify immediately. The same when I'm driving; I'll say to my girlfriend: "Okay, let me slow down to 25 knots for this exit" when I actually mean "25 MPH." The same with 'ahead' and 'astern,' instead of 'in front' and 'behind' me.

Maybe I'm becoming institutionalized. One day, my girlfriend will find me bouncing off the walls, giggling, and chanting: "Tee-hee-hee, it's the sea life for me!" over and over again.

[edible_hat]

After having spent so many years at sea, I really have to think about which is right, and which is left... but 'port' and 'starboard,' I can identify immediately.

"left" and "port" have the same number of letters.

[smileyeagle1021]

yeah, I have to admit, while I can still readily tell right from left, for me it is much easier to the compass rose, north, south, east and west. I drive people nuts at work, I'll give directions like "turn west out of the parking lot" which for me makes sense because I can normally tell instantly which direction is which even in a new city, but apparently most people don't have that ability. Hell, even inside I can normally keep track of compass rose directions.

That said, just saying "i don't know right from left", no matter how valid the reason makes you sound stupid. I have no problem with saying "i'm sorry, i'm not good with direction, do you happen to know the compass directions for that".

[PepperElf]

Okay, let me slow down to 25 knots for this exit

dang. i've never called mph knots lol
tho i did confuse sis once when i mentioned the overhead


but for not telling left from right... that's when you put a ring or bracelet on one hand and then if you don't remember look down and get a reference

[Pagan]

SCW: You need to point. I don't know left from right.
Me: Being the evil self, guesture while still dictating left and right in directions.

I can't imagine not knowing your right from your left. Of course, I started taking piano at a very young age and you have to know the difference.

SC: (To regular) I asked him (me) not you.

Can you say "ungrateful" boys and girls? I knew that you could!

After having spent so many years at sea, I really have to think about which is right, and which is left... but 'port' and 'starboard,' I can identify immediately.

And that's just as natural as "left" and "right" for me, too!

"Tee-hee-hee, it's the sea life for me!" over and over again.

Well, you could sing, "it's a pirates life for me".

I drive people nuts at work, I'll give directions like "turn west out of the parking lot" which for me makes sense because I can normally tell instantly which direction is which even in a new city, but apparently most people don't have that ability.

As long as I know where the mountains are, I'm good. I can orient on them.

[Bramblerose]

The Dumb
I was half tempted to tell her to hold out her hands and extend her thumb and pointer finger. Whichever forms an L is the left hand.

Oh, please come do this to my husband.

He'll hold up his hands with the l palm facing out and the right palm facing in, and ask you which L you mean.

loves me some smartass!

[ArcticChicken]

We have a friend who can't tell left from right readily. Not that she doesn't know it, just that her brain isn't wired to automatically reference it.

She uses the extended hands bit, and manages well. Otherwise, she's quite bright.

I have that problem. I also can't always remember which one is the break and which one is the gas pedal, hence the reason I let my learner's permit lapse.

(I have THE WORST anxiety about writing essays and research papers...but I have to find a workaround for this dang writing anxiety before I get to the thesis part of my Master's... )

If you do let me know. I'll try just about anything to kick mine. I discovered that I can't even write my own resume, I just freeze up whenever I try.

[edible_hat]

If you do let me know. I'll try just about anything to kick mine. I discovered that I can't even write my own resume, I just freeze up whenever I try.

In my experience, this comes from worrying about getting it right the first time. Just write whatever and edit it later.

(I once wrote an essay titled "I can't think of what to write about" and it was about trying to think of something to write about)

[smileyeagle1021]

As long as I know where the mountains are, I'm good. I can orient on them.

we have mountains both to the east and west... what then

and reno would be worse for you, mountains on EVERY side

[BookstoreEscapee]

I can only figure out compass direction if I can orient to a main road that I know which direction it goes in. Then I kinda have to turn my body (or at least visualize doing so) to face north.

Left and right I've never had a problem with. If I were ever to get confused, all I'd have to do is try doing anything that requires a reasonable amount of manual dexterity - which hand can't do it? That's the left.