They're called IDIOT LIGHTS for a good reason!

[JLRodgers]

There are times I think cars need this:
1) A universal symbol of a problem color-coded with "notice (can ignore)", "warning", "critical"
2) a Text message to pop up telling them what to do if they ignore the light after say a minute
3) big text put on the windshield saying "pull me over right now you abusive jerk!" (ok... "pull over NOW")
then once they ignore all of those and think it's not important -- the car sets the max speed to like 15mph and turns on the flashers. And puts up a text saying "I wasn't kidding, pull over NOW"

And then when they ignore that, cut the speed, and have the call place a free (I'd feel bad people having to pay for this service) for assistance automatically and put the call on so the person can talk (with GPS coordinates so they can be found) -- and cut the speed to 5mph.

Then if they ignore that.... have the car come to a stop, only letting it go 50 feet before it shuts off (so they can pull over) -- while flashing how many feet before it'll shut off forever, and telling it to pull over.



That way, when the driver would post something online about "how the car did all this without any warning" and it makes all the big sites and everyone sees how stupid the person is -- I can get a laugh and make my day better.

[Dark-Star]

How about an electronic voice saying "CRITICAL FAILURE. STOP DRIVING IMMEDIATELY." Deactivatable only by a knowledgeable mechanic with the right tool. Maybe even with the ability to disengage the engine when it's next turned off?

Seriously those people should about have their driving licenses revoked...

[Der Cute]

No, it's the same as a computer user.

"The error on my screen says Viruses Detected are 234234545623453443322. Can I still use my computer?"

These people that are so damn common are disgusting, but it's what keeps us employed. PEBCAK..or PEBCASW for cars? These are the people that say, oh, I dunno how to fill up gas/change oil/eat breakfast/wipe my ass.

Cutenoob

[Bosch]

When the check engine light FLASHES, it means imminent damage to the catalytic converter- the most expensive thing in the exhaust.

Exhaust system trouble is the RESULT of driving with it flashing. Flashing usually means a misfire.

But the check engine light has HUNDREDS of unique reasons it could come on, many of them harmless to drivability or longevity. Amber lights aren't usually as important as red ones.

A flashing CEL almost always means - pull the fuck over now and call a hook, cause this is going to get expensive quick if you don't! All of the reasons are bad, not just your cat about to eat itself.

Also some newer automatic trans cars will go into what is called "limp mode" allowing you to only get 1st & 2nd gears enough to keep moving but not enough speed to damage anything or safely allow you to get off the road. You can't ignore only being able to go 25mph.

On some newer cars you can do a "key dance" and the OBD codes pop up through the Odometer. ie the PT Cruiser does this, as do other Chryslers. I can look up the code to know if its serious or not. Hell I keep a list of major "call a flatbed" codes in the glove box. Only needed it once when I blew a fuel pump causing the motor to run lean and throw a code for a lean fuel mix. A lean fuel mix can cause you to see the pistons red glare as it blows a hole through the block.

Most codes are common between makers, example P0700 could be a transmission issue, but you need an OBD II tool to pull the specific trans codes.

My old Mechanics policy - If you are dumb enough to keep driving on it, you deserve a huge repair bill.. My new wing on the shop was built with your money

[Broomjockey]

I was rather confused at first. I'd expected this to be about a traffic collision. Around here (or maybe it's just the crowd I run with, I dunno) "idiot light" refers to the brake light in the rear windshield.

[sirwired]

I hang out on a message board dedicated to the fine automobile that is the B5 VW Passat ('98 - '06.) The base engine in that car, a 1.8L Turbo, is vulnerable to oil sludging if you fail to use synthetic oil or change the oil every 5k.

Prior to VW introducing an extended sludging warranty and sending a letter to every Passat owner in the country warning about the problem, the board used to receive one or two posts a month consisting of posts like:

"My dash said "STOP! OIL PRESSURE!" on the way to work this morning. What do I do? It made a funny ticking noise on the way home this evening."

or

"My oil light came on and the car said something about oil pressure. I checked the dipstick, it was fine. 15 minutes later my engine stopped. What's wrong?"

VW of America would occasionally deny warranty coverage of any kind for these clowns, especially if they had driven that way for weeks. Whoops!

SirWired

[BookstoreEscapee]

My engine light has come on about 3 times. 2 were because the gas cap wasn't on right. The third was an actual problem with the fuel line (car actually died when I stopped at a light on my way to get it checked out...luckily it started right up again). Now when I get gas I always listen for the clicks to make sure the attendant put the cap on all the way (I live in NJ, so no comments about pumping my own gas, please). If I don't hear it or wasn't paying attention, I check it when I get home...take the cap off and put it back on.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

PEBCAK..or PEBCASW for cars?

I believe I've used the term PEBSAW-Problem Exists Between Seat And Wheel.

[Bosch]

My engine light has come on about 3 times. 2 were because the gas cap wasn't on right. The third was an actual problem with the fuel line (car actually died when I stopped at a light on my way to get it checked out...luckily it started right up again). Now when I get gas I always listen for the clicks to make sure the attendant put the cap on all the way (I live in NJ, so no comments about pumping my own gas, please). If I don't hear it or wasn't paying attention, I check it when I get home...take the cap off and put it back on.

That is a common EVAP code on almost all new cars, mine I get one without fail EVERYTIME I get filled up in Oregon cause you can't pump your own gas there either.. Get out close the cap right, have the scangauge hooked up and reset the light(love that little box I do!) and I'm on my way. No waiting for it to reset..

[BookstoreEscapee]

That is a common EVAP code on almost all new cars, mine I get one without fail EVERYTIME I get filled up in Oregon cause you can't pump your own gas there either.. Get out close the cap right, have the scangauge hooked up and reset the light(love that little box I do!) and I'm on my way. No waiting for it to reset..

I can't reset the light. Dealer charges 80 bucks.

First time - I took it in because I didn't know what was causing it.
Second time - I checked the cap and it looked fine so I took it in...and that was the problem anyway.
Third time - Cap was fine, took it in just to be safe, and it died on the way, so it was a good thing I made the appointment.
Next time - hope there isn't one.

[wolfie]

I mean, seriously, a TEXT MESSAGE, that succinctly describes the problem AND what to do! HOW MUCH MORE WARNING ARE THE ENGINEERS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TO GIVE PEOPLE????????

My truck has 2 lights - an amber "Check Engine" light, and a red "Stop Engine" light coupled to a beeper. If you try to keep driving with the SE light on, and don't push a certain button on the dash every 30 seconds, it'll shut off the engine on its own. The button is in case you're in a situation where you need a bit more time to get pulled over safely.

Of course, a cow-irker (TM Dilbert) couldn't figure this out. I saw him stopped at the side of the road and pulled over to see what was wrong. His truck had lost power, over the course of a minute or so, eventually not going faster than 50 km/h, but when he shut it down for a few minutes it worked again - this was the second time it had lost power. I told him about the engine's self-defense mechanism, and that he should get it towed back. Instead, he started up again - by the time he got back to the yard (we'd delivered to the same customer, about 75 miles from the yard), the truck had shut down on him 5 or 6 times.

[sirwired]

In their infinite wisdom, VW has seen fit to equip their cars with a specific "Gas cap Loose" light so you don't have to pay the dealer $50 to tell you to tighten the gas cap.

Nifty little feature... much nicer than a "Check Engine" light for such a trivial issue.

SirWired

[Glutton4Punishment]

My OBD II scanner is one of my favorite toys and probably the biggest money saver. I have saved myself over $500 just by being able to diagnose my own MIL issues. Well that and coming from a fairly handy family that taught me how to do most basic repairs and some not so. Having that and a true Service Manual (not haynes or chilton) are a life saver.

[mattm04]

I was in the waiting room at my mechanics. My exterior temperature sensor failed and it kept saying "ICE POSSIBLE" on the dash in the middle of summer and it claimed it was -40 F out.

He was talking to another customer who was mad bout her repair bill. From the sound of it she drove the thing for a few days with the "check oil" light on, the "brake light" and the temperature light. She mentioned that she never remember the oil and temperature gauges in the "red part" before.

She was driving a TrailBalzer which has a dash like this (http://l.yimg.com/dv/izp/chevrolet_t...entcluster.jpg). Of all these gauges only 1 should be to the extreme left or right when the engine is running and that is the temp gauge when you first start it.

[Salted Grump]

I'm reminded of a story I heard happened about 20 years ago at the local race track. A guy had just rebuilt the engine in his (relatively new) Riceburner of a bike and took it out for a spin on the track for 20 laps.

On the last lap, the Piston let loose and went straight up. Needless to say, the Driver of the bike ended up cartwheeling in midair about forty feet up, and was dead before he hit the ground. (Police later found the piston and the Broken piston arm that had snapped Roughly two Kilometres down the road; the figured that it had gone high enough to be a threat to jet planes)

My dad (who was there with my Mom), said that the only notice of a problem was when the Bike went 'BANG' And sent the driver flying.

Anyhow, as for where I'm going with all of this; Remember how some vehicles have Transverse-mounted Engines (Eg. Honda Odyssey)? Be nice to them; otherwise the passenger compartment is in the line of fire for half the cylinders.