It's Getting Harder....

[El Pollo Guerrera]

You know GK, you may need to come find me, i'm one of those shifty Australians secretly working for the Mafia.

Damn, just gave myself away

"Looks like we're going to have a little talk..."

[Akasa]

Oh the massage parlor one was pure awesomeness!
I'm glad it wasn't late at night when I read it. I laughed a bit loudly.

[SengaKitty]

GK, m'dear, you are a much much better person than I. I read your posts every week, and tell myself "Sure I could do that." That is, until I go onto the second or third story in your post. They make me cry for you.

[Slytovhand]

Actually, Uncle Vick could be on to something.

I presume he was referring to the bikie gang murders etc that happened over the last couple of weeks in Sydney? Apparently a drug-turf war not too dissimilar to what I hear is going on in Mexico. A bikie was bashed (I think to death) in the middle of Sydney airport! Could have been waiting for a flight to/from Mexico City..... or Nunavut....

Nice fencing skills there, GK!

[Evil Queen]

No, wait! Please! I have cookies!

No you don't.

*yoink*

[Broomjockey]

No you don't.

*yoink*

No YOU don't. *yoink*

[Evil Queen]

No YOU don't. *yoink*

Oh.. Hell no.

*yoinks back*

[wagegoth]

What if they want to leave but the exit is blocked?

Then they need to figure out an alternative. If they can't, well, natural selection is around for a reason.

[sms001]

SC: “You work all night?”
Me: “….yes”
SC: "So you’re a nighthawk?”

Is this some regional equivalent to 'night owl' or is the SC just an idiot?

[Broomjockey]

Is this some regional equivalent to 'night owl' or is the SC just an idiot?

I don't think it's regional. I've heard the term before, meaning it can't be that uncommon

[JambaBamba]

Is this some regional equivalent to 'night owl' or is the SC just an idiot?

From Wiki: Nighthawks have short beaks which are perfect for catching aerial insects and crushing them. Much like how Gravekeeper crushes the hopes and dreams of those wishing to buy pants or hats in the 867.

Perhaps the SC just knew.

[Little Redhead]

Why do I read your posts? They just make me too terrified to leave my apartment. It's bad enough that I get pains in my head whenever I have to dial an "867" number.

scurries back to the deep forest of Lurker-wood

I was thinking the same thing lol

[bloodrose]

Am I the only one that heard the Beavis and Butthead voices for the Massage Parlor guys?

[Blade_Raver]

That was more than just a point for GK... that was a KO!

GK, you've got awesome methods of taking the fight out of these callers... If I possessed the talents you did, my job would be more enjoyable.

[Imogene]

I forgot it, I don’t know where it is, I don’t have it with me, the dog ate it, my son ate it, my husband ate it, I force fed it to my neighbour until he ate it, I left it beside the drive core on the mothership, etc, etc.

What about: "I cut it up and baked it into a pie which I then fed to visiting gods, who realized what i'd done, punished me, and then rebirthed my customer number?